Forever and A Day
by InfinityStar
Summary: An old threat resurfaces, reminding Goren that some grudges can even reach from beyond the grave. Sequel to Choices.
1. Chasing Maggie

Mike Logan leaned over to pick up a mitten from the snow. A small fistful of snow sailed through the air, landing on his neck and sliding down his shirt as he stood up. He looked at the giggling wielder of the snowball. "Ok, Maggie, this means war."

With a squeal, she ran away from him, across the small yard outside his apartment building. He caught her easily, lifting her into his arms and kissing her cheek. She giggled and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Are you ready for some lunch?" he asked her.

"And hot choc'late?"

"I always have hot chocolate for you," he laughed, kissing her as he carried her into the building.

She charged up the stairs with him right behind her. "Four hours in the snow and you can still run up the stairs. Yeah, you're your father's child."

He took off her coat, hat and mittens, then sat her on the couch and took off her boots. "Ok, how about some soup?"

"Soup!" she agreed enthusiastically.

He ruffled her hair and kissed her forehead. "Ok, munchkin, give me five minutes, then meet me at the table and we'll have soup."

He went into the kitchen and heated up a can of soup, carrying two bowls to the table. She smiled when he set her bowl in front of her. "Daddy likes 'mato soup, too."

Logan smiled. "Yes, he does."

He disappeared into the kitchen, returning with two mugs. "And here's hot chocolate for my best girl."

She giggled. "Thank you."

He sat down next to her with his own lunch. He always marveled at what a happy child she was, always laughing and smiling. "And who's your best guy, Maggie?"

"Daddy."

He laughed. He'd walked right into that one. Nothing was more true than that. "Who else?"

Maggie smiled at him. "You, Uncle Mike."

"That's right." She wrinkled her nose at him and he leaned toward her, pressing his forehead against hers. "Little bunny," he said, poking her belly.

She laughed. The one thing he _did_ understand about Goren was his devotion to this little girl. There was no doubt to anyone who knew them that she was Daddy's little girl in every way. What truly amazed him, though, was that as devoted as he was to his daughter, his love for his wife transcended everything. He doubted he would ever find a love like that.

The phone rang as he put the dishes in the sink. He didn't recognize the number and hoped it wasn't a case. "Logan."

"Hey," Goren's voice answered. "How's Maggie doing?"

"She's fine. We just finished lunch. How's Alex?"

"Beautiful." He could hear the smile in Goren's voice.

"So what'd she give you--a boy or a girl?"

"A son. He's a tiny little guy, but not for long if he keeps eating the way he started."

Logan laughed. "Congratulations, Bobby."

"Thanks. Can I talk to Maggie?"

"Well...let me see if she wants to talk... Maggie, want to talk to Daddy?"

She bounced off the couch and ran to him. He handed her the phone. "Daddy!"

"Hi, little mouse. Are you taking good care of Uncle Mike?"

"Yes! We played inna snow and had 'mato soup and hot choc'late. Now we gonna watch a movie!"

"Which one?"

"_Fairytopia_! I wanna see Bibble!"

Goren laughed. "You're gonna wear out that movie."

"Did Mommy get my baby?"

"She sure did."

"She get a good one?"

"Yes, she did. You have a little brother."

"What's his name?"

"Tommy."

She looked thoughtful, and Logan saw her dad in her. "I like Tommy."

"Good."

"You comin' home soon?"

"Soon, baby. I'll tuck you in, ok?"

"Ok."

"Now put Uncle Mike back on and I'll see you later."

"Bye, Daddy. I love you."

"I love you, too, mouse."

She handed the phone back to Logan and skipped away. "She never holds still. If I didn't know you, I'd ask where she gets all that energy."

Goren laughed again. "Has she worn you out yet?"

"Not yet. Barek's coming over, so maybe between the two of us we can match that energy."

"Good luck."

"What's your son's name?"

"Thomas John."

"They staying the night?"

"Probably."

"You can stay with them, if you want. Barek will stay the night here if I ask her to."

"Thanks, but I promised Maggie I'd be there later to tuck her in."

"Ok, whatever you want to do."

"I'll see you later. Thanks, Mike."

"Yep. Bye."

He closed the phone and watched Maggie pretending to be a plane, all over the living room. He remembered watching Goren lay on his back, holding an infant Maggie above him, playing airplane, making those same sounds, just to make her giggle. That was before he ever knew he was her father. He had been there with Eames three-and-a-half years ago when Maggie was born, even though that wasn't his responsibility. No one else could be with her, and her husband refused to show up, so Goren had stayed with her because she needed him, and he loved her. He always took care of her. When her husband refused to have anything to do with the baby, Eames had been hurt, but Goren was there. He stepped into the father role with ease, because he adored the little girl. It took no effort at all for her to make the transition from 'Uncle Bobby' to 'Daddy.' In her mind he had been 'Daddy' all along.

Smiling, he stepped into the path of the plane, catching her and flipping her into the air. With a laugh and total trust, she landed in his arms. He flew her around the room a few times and collapsed onto the couch with her. He had no idea how Goren did this every day, but he knew that he did. With a kid like Maggie, that boundless energy of his came in handy. More than once, late in this last pregnancy, he'd heard Eames let out an exasperated sigh and tell her husband, "You gave her that energy, you chase her. I'm exhausted." Goren always had the time and energy for his little girl.

The doorbell rang, and Maggie leapt from his lap and ran to the door. He heaved himself from the couch after her and looked through the peephole. "Go ahead and open the door, honey."

She did and bounced in delight when she saw Barek in the hall. "Hi, Aunt Car'lyn!"

Barek picked the little girl up and hugged her. "How are you doing today, Maggie?"

"Good. Mommy got me a new baby!"

"She did? That's exciting, honey!" She set her down and looked at Logan. "How's Alex?"

"According to her husband, she's beautiful."

She laughed. "Of course. She and the baby are ok?"

"They're fine. A little boy. His name is Thomas John, but I don't have any other details so you're gonna have to wait until Bobby gets here.How's the weather out there?"

"Still snowing, and the streets are crap to drive on. Have you had Maggie out in the snow?"

"All friggin' morning. Her favorite game is to drop a mitten and see how much snow she can get down my back when I pick it up."

Barek laughed again. "I like that game."

"Ha, ha. So does she."

Maggie came bouncing over to them. "I wanna go outside. Can we?"

"Outside?" Logan groaned.

Maggie tilted her head and said, "Pleeeeeeze, Uncle Mike!"

Barek smiled. "Of course we can, sweetheart."

Clapping her hands, she ran to get her coat while Logan glared at his partner. "We were gonna watch a movie, Barek."

She looked at the DVD that was sitting on top of the player. "_Barbie Fairytopia_?" She raised her eyes to look at him. "_Barbie_? You'd rather watch _Barbie_ than go outside?"

"A tall, leggy blonde? Sure, why not?" He nodded at the backpack in the corner that had Maggie's clothes, some DVDs and a few books in it. "If her dad can watch half this stuff with her, I can suffer through _Barbie_. She wants to see something called a Bibble."

"Well, you can watch _Barbie_ and the Bibble when we come back inside. I want to go outside, too."

"I don't know if I can handle the two of you ganging up on me."

"Don't be a wuss, Logan."

"A wuss? Hey, I've been taking care of the little whirlwind since five this morning. She hasn't been still for five minutes. I don't think..."

"Exactly," she cut him off with a smile as Maggie brought her mittens to them. Her coat was on, upside down. Laughing, Barek fixed it for her, putting on her mittens and hat. "Let's go, Uncle Mike," she said sweetly as Maggie ran for the door.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming," he grumbled, following them out of the apartment while hiding a grin.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Dinner time was fast approaching and Logan was starting to worry. He set some water on to boil after the movie ended. Barek joined him in the kitchen. "Boiling water?"

"Dinner. Spaghetti I can do, and fortunately, Maggie likes spaghetti."

"Did you enjoy the movie?"

"At least I found out what a Bibble is." He looked at the clock. "I wonder where Goren is."

"He's at the hospital with his wife and newborn son."

"He promised Maggie he'd be here to tuck her in. He'd never break his word to her."

"Do you want me to call Alex and ask her if he's left yet?"

"Not yet. Let's see if he shows up for dinner."

He finished the spaghetti and hunted for Maggie, who was playing hide and seek. She was a good hider, and he would have had more trouble finding her, if she wasn't giggling. Then she jumped out at him and he acted startled, making her laugh even more. He picked her up and carried her into the bathroom, where he helped her wash her hands. Then he brought her to the table. "Let's try to get more of the spaghetti in our tummies than on the table and floor, ok, Maggie?"

She picked up a piece of spaghetti and looked at it, then put it in her mouth, nodding. "Good s'getti, Uncle Mike."

"Thank you, my dear."

"Where's Daddy?"

"He'll be here. He probably got held up in the snow."

"Maybe he's gonna stay with Mommy."

Barek smiled. "You wouldn't mind if Daddy stayed with Mommy?"

"No. Mommy needs him, too, sometimes." She frowned a little, but then the frown vanished and she said, "I gotta share him."

Logan choked on his food. Barek glared at him, but bit back her comment. He washed down the rest of his mouthful with his beer. She turned her attention back to Maggie. "So, Maggie, are you looking forward to Santa coming?"

She nodded. "Mommy says I'm a good girl."

"That means a lot coming from Mommy," Logan commented. Barek kicked him under the table. "Ow! What?"

She gave him a warning glare, but he just grinned. After dinner, Logan cleared the plates and looked down at Maggie and her immediate area. "Spaghetti explosion. It got away from ya again, kid."

Barek lifted the little girl into her arms. "Let's put you in the tub while Uncle Mike cleans up after the spaghetti monster."

Maggie giggled and smiled at Logan. He touched her nose. "You get in your pjs and, if Daddy's not here yet, you can pick another movie. Aunt Carolyn and I would love to watch another movie with you while we wait for him."

"Ok."

As he cleaned up, he found himself growing more concerned that Goren wasn't there yet. He tried to convince himself that it was the snow, but he couldn't shake the feeling that something had happened.

* * *

**A/N: As usual, they're not mine; they belong to Dick Wolf. But_Barbie_ belongs to Mattel. I tried to write Maggie's dialogue as a three-year-old would speak, but I kinda suck at that. So just use your wonderful imaginations and remember that she's just 3-1/2 ( and yes, some three-year-olds _do_ have that much energy!). I've been wanting to do a sequel to _Choices_ because that was such an awesome story to write (and a lot of you seemed to like it), and a plot finally came to me. Tell me what you think and, as always, suggestions are welcome. Sometimes you guys really do help me as the plot develops, so don't be afraid to jump in with any suggestions. Enjoy :-)**


	2. Wrong Time, Wrong Place

Barek took Maggie into the bedroom to get her dressed after her bath. While they were in there, the phone rang. Logan jumped on it. "Hello?"

"Hi, Mike."

_Shit_...It was Eames. "Hi, Alex. How are you feeling?"

"Still tired. How was Maggie today?"

"She was fine. Same little hurricane she always is, and that's just how I love her."

Eames laughed. "You didn't have any problems?"

"Nope. Barek came over this afternoon and helped out. I just got done cleaning up after dinner. For the life of me, I don't know why I give her spaghetti."

"For the same reason Bobby does just about anything she asks him to. It makes her happy."

"Yeah, I guess so. How's the little guy doing?"

"He's fine. He sure has a healthy appetite. He's different than Maggie was."

"Maybe he'll be more like you."

"We'll see, I guess. Can I talk to Bobby, Mike? The battery on his phone must have died because it goes right into voicemail."

Logan felt his gut tighten. He looked up as Barek and Maggie came into the living room. He covered the mouthpiece and said, "Go ahead and pick a movie, sweetheart. Daddy may not make it to read to you and tuck you in."

"Ok, Uncle Mike."

She trotted back down the hall to get a movie from her backpack. Logan met Barek's eyes as he returned his attention to Eames. "Uh, Bobby's not here, Alex."

She was quiet for a moment. "He's not? He left here before five because he promised Maggie he'd be there to tuck her in, and he wanted to have dinner with her."

"Maybe he stopped by your place first. And Carolyn says the streets are really nasty; it's slow going anywhere in the city."

"It's been long enough, Mike. He should be there."

He agreed with that. "Look, I'll leave Maggie here with Carolyn and see if I can find him. I'll head over to your apartment and see if he's there. I'll have my phone and I promise I'll call you, ok? Try not to worry."

She was quiet again, and when she spoke, there was a tremor in her voice. "He would never break his word to Maggie, Mike."

"I know. If it helps any, she's not upset. She said it was ok if he wanted to stay with you because she has to share him. We just told her that it's the snow that's holding him up."

"What's she doing now?"

"Getting a movie. It's almost bedtime and we promised she could watch a movie if he wasn't here. Want to say good night?"

"Yes, please."

"Hold on." He walked to the bedroom, where Maggie was kneeling beside her backpack, neatly stacking its contents around her while she looked for a movie. "Here, Maggie, say good night to Mommy."

Maggie took the phone. "Hi, Mommy!"

"Hello, honey. Did you have fun today with Uncle Mike?"

"Yes. We played inna snow! Did you play inna snow with my baby?"

"No, sweetheart, not yet. I'll bring him home for you tomorrow."

"Ok. Daddy's not here yet. Uncle Mike says he's inna snow."

"I'm sure he'll be there soon. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Ok, Mommy. I love you."

"I love you, too."

Maggie handed the phone to Logan and returned to her movie search as he walked back to the living room. "Don't worry about Maggie."

"I don't. She'll take good care of you. I have to go; Tommy's up again. Please, Mike, call me as soon as you find him, or as soon as he turns up."

"I will. I'm sure he's fine. Feed your son and try not to worry."

"Yeah, right." She sighed. "I'll always worry about him. Thanks, Mike."

"Sure. I'll call you. Bye."

Barek smacked him when he hung up the phone. "Why the hell did you tell her he was missing?"

"She wanted to talk to him. What else was I supposed to do?"

Before she could answer, Maggie came skipping down the hall with a movie. She jumped into Logan's arms. "Hey," he said. "Aunt Carolyn's gonna watch this with you. I need to go someplace for a little while. But I'll be here when you wake up in the morning. So you be a good girl, and have good dreams."

"Is Daddy gonna be here inna mornin, too?"

"Maybe."

She pouted a little. "I miss Daddy."

"I know you do, pumpkin." He kissed her cheek. "I'll see you in the morning, ok?"

"Ok, Uncle Mike."

She kissed him, hugging his neck and squeezing. She leaned into Barek's arms from Logan's and laid her curly head on her shoulder, yawning. Logan shook his head. "Figures you get her when she's all worn out. What movie'd she pick? _Apocalypse Now_?"

Laughing, Barek shook her head. "_Aladdin_."

"For me she picks _Barbie_..." he grumbled, shaking his head as he went to the hall closet and pulled out his overcoat. Taking a locked box from the top shelf, he carried it to the table, draping his coat over a chair. Barek put the movie on for Maggie and sat her on the couch. "I'll be right back, Maggie."

Logan took out his keys and unlocked the box, taking his gun and holster out and closing it. He'd never locked his gun up before, not until Maggie had come into their lives. Kids sure changed things. He put the gun on his belt, meeting Barek's eyes. Quietly, she said, "Is there something you're not telling me?"

He didn't answer, replacing the box on the shelf in the closet. He picked his coat up from the chair. "I hope I'm wrong," he said softly. He walked to the couch, leaned down to kiss Maggie and headed to the door. "I'll be back."

Barek felt a knot form in her gut. She didn't like this at all. She sat down and let Maggie climb into her lap. Wrapping her arms around the little girl, she held her close, but she could not concentrate on the movie. Now she was really worried about Mike and Bobby.

* * *

Eames sat quietly for a few minutes after hanging up the phone. There was a lump sitting in her gut, like the one that had formed last week when Bishop had called her to let her know Bobby had been hurt. Logan called an hour later to reassure her that he wasn't badly injured, but that hour between those calls had been interminable. All it ended up being was a dislocated shoulder following a scuffle with a suspect, and she was still annoyed at Bishop for letting her worry like that. Bobby hadn't been too happy either and he'd had a talk with his interim partner, who later called to apologize. It hadn't been intentional; that was just the way Bishop was. Concise, not given to emotional involvement. Logan didn't like her; Bobby tolerated her because he had to. Bobby tolerated almost everyone because he had to. There were few people he actively liked and enjoyed being with. Everyone else was tolerated.

She got out of bed and stood by the baby's isolette. He was awake, making little noises and looking for her. She took off his little blue hat and stroked the velvet softness of his barely furry head. Picking him up, she held him close as she walked over to the window and looked out over the snow-covered city. Tommy settled, comforted by his mother's closeness and content for the moment to suck on his fist. She struggled to remain calm because she didn't want the baby to be tense, but she couldn't help wondering where her husband was. It wasn't like him to not call if he was going to be late and it certainly wasn't like him to tell Maggie something and not follow through with it. That bothered her more than anything...and it told her something was very wrong.

She sat down in the chair by the window to feed the baby. Watching him eat, she studied his features as she let him wrap his little hand around her finger. He was going to have her straight blond hair, but most of his facial features seemed to be his father's. Maggie, on the other hand, had Bobby's hair and eyes, but her mouth and nose. She sighed, kissing her son's smooth forehead, whispering a prayer that his father was all right and would call her soon to let her know he was.

* * *

Logan buried his hands deep in his pockets and shivered. The snowfall was heavier now, and a biting wind had developed, one that drove right through a person. He entered the apartment building and pressed the 'up' button on the elevator. The door slid open and he stepped onto it, pressing 'four' and leaning back against the rear panel. He let his eyes wander the small car as it carried him up through the building. As he passed the third floor, he pushed off from the wall and glanced down. _What the hell_...? He knelt beside a dark spot on the floor, pullling off his glove. He touched it...still wet and not very sticky yet...fresh blood.

The door slid open as he stood up. He felt the bottom drop from his gut as he ran down the hall. He pounded on the door and waited. As he was pulling his keys from his pocket, he heard the deadbolt slide and the door opened. He entered the dark apartment and shut the door. "Why the hell are you here in the friggin' dark?"

"I...I just got here."

He didn't need ESP to know where the blood had come from. "Turn the damn light on."

Yanking off his coat, he threw it in the direction of a chair. He ran down the hall to the bathroom, flipping on the light and grabbing the first aid box from under the sink. By the time he got back to the living room, the light was on. He came to a dead stop. There was someone else laying on the couch. "What the hell's going on?"

Goren came out of the kitchen with a coffee mug in his hand. His hair was wet and disheveled, and his white shirt was covered with blood. He had a black eye and a cut at the corner of his mouth. He glanced at Logan as he handed the mug to the figure on the couch. "Here, man," he said. "Drink this."

"Thanks, Bobby," a man's voice answered...a voice Logan knew.

"Lewis?"

He walked around the coffee table to the other end of the couch. Lewis was still bleeding from a laceration on his forehead, and his face was bruised. "You guys get in a fight?"

"Kind of," Goren answered. "You can teach a guy to fight but you can't make him remember how to do it."

"Hey," Lewis protested. "There were three of 'em."

"Yeah, and two of 'em were on me."

"You're bigger than I am."

Logan looked pointedly at Goren. "Wrong time, wrong place?"

"Yeah. I was followed from the hospital. I called Lewis, to tell him about the baby, and we went to Kelsey's to grab a beer before I headed to your place to pick up Maggie. We got jumped."

"Who jumped you?"

Goren met his eyes directly. "You know who it was."

"I'm calling Deakins."

"I already did."

Goren rubbed the back of his neck, then ushered Logan into the kitchen. He spoke softly. "I'd rather Alex didn't find out about this right now."

Logan stared at him. "And just how do you figure on hiding this? She sees your face every day, Bobby. She's gonna notice."

"I-I'll tell her, as soon as I figure out how."

"She's gonna be all kinds of pissed when she finds out what we've been doing. You know that."

"I know. But she doesn't have to know yet. I want her to enjoy taking care of Tommy. We can deal with telling her when she comes back to work."

"We? Why do you always drag me into these things?"

"I didn't drag you into this. You jumped in, feet first, without even looking."

"Yeah, well, I kinda promised her I'd watch out for you. She doesn't quite trust Bishop."

"No, she doesn't."

"Neither do I."

"Knock it off. Bishop's ok. She's just...not Alex."

"A flaw she shares with the rest of the world."

"I'm not in the mood, Logan."

He went back into the living room, where he started cleaning up the blood on Lewis' face so he could bandage his forehead. Logan moved to stand by the dining table. One nightmare was blending into another...He felt sick that Lewis had gotten caught in the crossfire. He couldn't even imagine how Goren felt about it, and he began wondering, not for the first time, if they were in over their heads. He pulled out his phone and dialed. Goren heard him say "Hey, Alex."

He swore and came around the couch, heading for Logan, who held up his hand and stepped closer to the kitchen. "Yeah, I found him...He's here at your place...Sure, hold on."

He thrust the phone into Goren's hand and softly said, "Talk to your wife."

Goren glared at him, but he took the phone. "Hey, baby."

"What happened to you? Why didn't you go to Mike's?"

"I, uh, I stopped off at Kelsey's with Lewis. That's all."

She didn't sound relieved. "You didn't call."

"I wasn't planning to be long."

"What are you going to tell Maggie?"

"The truth. I was delayed."

"You need to tell me the truth first. Something's going on."

He looked at the floor. Finally, he softly said, "It has something to do with a case Mike and I are working."

"You and Mike? Bishop's your partner."

"This is different. It's not a work case...well, it is, but not really. It's complicated."

"You're babbling, Goren."

"Alex," he said softly. "I...have my reasons for not telling you anything more. You're just going to have to trust me."

She sighed heavily, and he knew she was annoyed. "We'll talk about it later, Bobby."

"I'm sure we will."

"Can you tell I'm pissed?"

"I can tell."

"Good. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah, you will. Uh, how's the baby?"

"He's fine."

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't want you to be upset."

"Forget it. Go see Maggie and kiss her good night for me."

"Alex?"

"What?"

"I love you."

She paused, but when she spoke, her voice was softer. "I know. I love you, too."

He closed the phone and handed it to Logan, who said, "She's mad, huh?"

"You don't even want to know."

He walked back in to the living room, where Lewis was sitting up, drinking the hot tea from the mug in his hands. Goren sat beside him. "You ok?"

"Yeah. I'm gonna be sore, though."

"I, uh, I didn't tell Alex. She's pissed enough that I'm keeping something from her."

"No problem. I'll make something up. Got an engine dropped on my head or something."

Goren laughed. "That won't fly with her. She's helped rebuild engines, remember?"

"How could I forget? You married my dream girl."

He gave Lewis a playful nudge. "Take you home?"

"Yeah. I guess it'll be hard to find a cab in this snow."

Goren looked up at Logan. "Why don't you leave your car here? I have four wheel drive."

"Works for me. You know, she might buy the engine on the face, with all the bruises you've got there."

"Hell, I think I'd buy it," Lewis grumbled as they headed for the door.

Logan stopped and looked at Goren. "Um, it might be a good idea to at least get changed, unless you particularly want to scare the hell out of your daughter with all that blood."

"Oh, yeah. Hold on."

He trotted back to the bedroom and came out a few minutes later in clean clothes. He pulled a jacket from the closet. "Ok, let's go."

Barek was coming down the hall from the bedroom as the door opened. Relief flooded through her when Logan and Goren came into the apartment. She frowned at the bruising on Goren's face. "How did you manage to get into trouble between here and the hospital in the middle of a blizzard? Bobby, you've been hanging out with Mike too much."

"I wasn't looking for trouble. How's Maggie?"

"Fine. I put her down in Mike's bed."

"Was she too upset that I didn't make it before she went to sleep?"

"No. We explained you were stuck in the snow. You could have called, though. Alex has really been worried."

"Yeah, well, I'm gonna need a new phone."

Logan shook his head and went into the kitchen. Goren took off his jacket and laid it over the back of the couch. He went to the bedroom and looked in on his sleeping daughter, softly kissing her forehead and snugging the blanket around her little body. He returned to the living room, accepting the beer Logan handed to him. Barek had her arms crossed, looking annoyed. He nodded. "That's about how Alex is going to look tomorrow, only a lot more pissed. She knows I'm keeping something from her now."

"It doesn't help any that I know what's going on. What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to royally piss off my wife. She and the kids are going to go and stay with her dad for a while. If this thing is going to escalate, I'm not going to have them anywhere where they can possibly get hurt."

"Are you going to at least explain to her why?"

"I'll have to. She won't go if I don't."

"And she will if you do?"

"Yes. She will."

Barek sighed. "Good luck with that. I'm going home now, before the streets get any worse. Tell Alex I'll call her tomorrow."

Goren nodded and dropped wearily onto the couch. "Thanks for staying with Maggie."

"Maggie is a pleasure. You two, however, are the ones who need a babysitter..."

"Yeah, yeah," Logan grumbled. "I'll see you tomorrow." She smiled at them and grabbed her coat. "Oh, Barek," Logan called her back. "Call me when you get home, will ya?"

"Sure. Good night, boys."

The door closed and Logan looked at Goren. "You can go ahead and sleep in the bed, since Maggie's already there."

Goren grinned. "No, she's not."

Turning, he saw Maggie walking down the hall toward them, rubbing her eyes. "She must have heard you. Kid's got Daddy radar."

She ran into her father's arms. "Daddy! You got here!"

"Of course I did. Sorry I was late, mouse."

"You can tuck me in now."

Logan finished his beer. "You can still have the bed."

"That's ok, Mike. We're fine here on the couch. I'm used to the lumps in it."

"You ought to be." He got a blanket and pillow from the hall closet and handed them to him. "I'm gonna go to bed, then." He leaned down and kissed Maggie's head. "Good night, Maggie."

"'Night, Uncle Mike."

Maggie looked at the bruises on her father's face, reaching out to gently touch the cheekbone near his eye. "It's ok, baby girl," he reassured her.

She stood on his lap and gently kissed his eye, then she laid her head on his shoulder, sliding her hand into his hair. He smiled. Always, she had to have her hand in his hair, ever since she was a baby. He stood up and walked around the room, lulling her to sleep. Then he laid her on the couch, got another beer and sat down to think. He had to figure out just what he as going to tell Alex tomorrow. It was not going to be an easy conversation and he was dreading it. If he'd thought there was trouble in his life before, that was nothing compared to how angry his wife was going to be when she found out what he and Mike were involved with. When he finally did doze off, his sleep was troubled.


	3. Explanation, Of A Sort

Eames was sitting in the chair by the window, holding the baby and talking to him, when Maggie came bounding into the room. "Hi, Mommy!"

She slid the baby into one arm as she caught her daughter with the other. Goren stayed by the door, leaning against the doorjam, watching his small family. Eames looked up. He grinned sheepishly. "Look at you," she said. "What happened?"

"Not now," he said quietly, his eyes straying to Maggie.

She nodded. "Come over here."

He crossed the room to her, leaning over to kiss her. She looked at his face, lightly touching the bruise that extended from his mouth to his jaw. "You look good," she muttered.

He kissed the baby's head and lifted Maggie into his arms when she came over to him. "You look better," he smiled.

"Do not think you can charm your way out of this, Bobby."

"I know better. But you can't blame me for trying, can you?"

She shook her head. "Here, take the baby."

He shifted Maggie onto his hip and let Eames place his newborn son in the crook of his left arm. Maggie leaned over and looked at the baby closely. "How am I gonna play with him?"

"Give him time, mouse. Pretty soon you'll be able to play with him."

"Like tomorrow?"

He laughed and kissed her head. "No, baby, not tomorrow. You're stuck with me for another few months, at least."

She smiled at her father. "Ok, Daddy."

She rested her head on his chest and watched the baby suck on his fist. Eames couldn't help smiling at him. She set her bag on the bed along with the things the hospital had given her. A couple of flower arrangements were on the tray table. "I already signed the paperwork. The nurse went to get a wheelchair and a cart."

"Ok." He sat on the edge of the bed and studied the baby. "He's so little."

"He's only a pound lighter than Maggie was."

"What a difference a pound makes," he said.

"Don't tell me you remember..." She stopped, realizing who she was talking to. "Never mind."

The door opened and a nurse came in, pushing a wheelchair. "Are we ready?"

Eames nodded. "Yes."

She looked at Goren. "You are Dad?"

"Yes," he said, smiling.

"And big sister?"

"I'm Maggie," she piped up, sitting up in her father's arms.

"Hi, Maggie. Are you ready to take your brother home?"

"Yes! But Daddy says the baby's gotta get bigger before he can play with me."

"Your daddy's a smart man."

"You have no idea," Eames muttered as she came over to take Tommy from his arms.

Goren leaned over and kissed her temple as she took the baby. She gave him a smile, but he could still see the anger simmering in her eyes. She walked over to the nurse and sat in the wheelchair. The nurse looked at Goren. "You do have a baby seat for him, right?"

"Of course."

"How are the streets?"

"Snowy."

Eames looked at him. "Bobby..."

He grinned. "They're messy, but they're ok."

"Let's go, then. I want to go home."

He sighed. He wasn't as keen on getting home as she was because he knew what awaited him there. It wasn't going to be pretty.

----------------------------------------------

Once in the car, Eames looked at him and said, "Let's go to Dad's."

"Ok. Um, why?"

"I told him we'd come over for dinner so he can meet his new grandson."

"And?"

"And we can talk."

"You mean argue..."

"I don't want to argue with you."

"Give it some time."

"Is it really that bad?"

He pulled out of the parking garage onto the snow covered street. "We'll see, I suppose."

She opened her mouth to reply, but changed her mind and decided to watch the snow instead. For the moment, he preferred the silence. Neither of them spoke for the rest of the trip, but in the back seat, Maggie sat quietly singing, oblivious to the tension between her parents.

He pulled into the driveway and parked. She watched him as he hesitated for a moment before he got out of the car. Opening the back door, he got Maggie out of her car seat and set her down on the driveway. She ran for the house, yelling, "Grandpa! I'm here!"

The front door opened and John Eames stepped out, gathering his youngest granddaughter into his arms. "How's my Maggie?"

"Good. We brought the baby, too."

John feigned surprise. "You did?"

"Yeah, but he's not any fun. Daddy says he's gotta get bigger."

"Daddy's right. But you can be a big girl in the meantime and help take care of him."

She thought for a minute before she nodded and said, "I can do that."

Goren had taken the baby from his car seat and opened the passenger door. Eames grabbed the diaper bag and headed for the house. He pushed the door closed and followed her. "Hi, Dad," she kissed his cheek.

John smiled. "How are you feeling, sweetheart?"

"All right."

He stepped aside, letting her in through the door, glancing at Goren, who shrugged slightly. When he had talked with her this morning, she'd mentioned she was annoyed with her husband, but she hadn't said why. He set Maggie down and she ran into the living room as he took the baby from Goren's arms, cooing at him. Eames chased Maggie across the living room, catching her and pulling off her coat. Looking at her father she asked, "Are you ok with them, Dad?"

"Of course. Go on to the den. I'll call you if he needs you."

"Thanks."

She kissed Maggie, sending her back to play, and looked at Goren. He looked nervous and so he should. He followed her to the den and closed the door behind him. Turning to face him, she crossed her arms over her chest. He knew that look; it was exactly the look he expected. "All right, let's hear it," she said.

"I'm sorry," he muttered. "You have to understand..."

"I understand that I'm your partner and you are keeping an entire case from me."

"We've been keeping it from everyone, Alex. Part of the day we work our regular cases. The rest we devote to this. It's an undercover case run by IAB."

"You're working with IAB?"

"Logan and I both are."

"I would never have expected that. Do Bishop and Barek know?"

"Barek does. Bishop doesn't."

"And I don't."

"You are on maternity leave."

"So I don't rate?"

"No! That's not it at all."

She crossed the room to the window and looked out across the snowy yard. It had started snowing again. Her arms were still crossed over her chest and she was trying not to lose her temper with him. "Why can't you tell me what this is about? And if you say anything about being under orders, I swear I'll leave this room and we're done talking."

He sat heavily. She turned and looked at him. He had both hands behind his neck and he was staring at the floor. He looked miserable. She forced herself to stay where she was, remaining firm about finding out what was going on, but it wasn't easy. She leaned against the window sill.

Finally, he looked at her, resting his chin on his hand. He had a defeated look on his face; this was really going to make her mad and he knew it. "I need you and the kids to stay here with your dad."

Her eyes blazed, and he was impressed when she did not explode at him. "Why?" she asked tightly.

"After last night...well, I can't be sure you'll be safe at home any more, and I can't put the three of you at risk."

"Why, dammit?" When he looked away and didn't answer, she huffed impatiently and said, "Ok, let's start with last night."

"Do we have to?"

"Goren, I swear..."

He held up his hands. "All right. You aren't going to just trust me with this, are you?"

"No. If my children are in danger..."

"They're not...as long as you stay here."

"So I guess I have no choice."

"You always have a choice, Alex."

"Do you think I would choose to put my kids in danger?"

"No, of course not."

"But you and Logan are in danger, and I have no choice about that, do I?"

"Uh, no. Sorry." He got up and began pacing. "A couple of weeks ago, IAB approached Deakins with a case they needed help with. They wanted me, because of my record with narcotics."

"It's a narcotics case?"

"Partly. It also has something to do with a cadre of cops turned bad in a couple of precincts."

"Why Logan?"

"Because I asked him."

"Why not Bishop?"

"Because I wanted Logan...if I couldn't have you."

"So if I were on duty, it would be our case?"

"Maybe. Uh, probably."

"How long have you been on it?"

"Three weeks."

"And last night. Did you lie to me about meeting Lewis?"

"No. I...I don't lie to you. I did meet Lewis at Kelsey's. After we left, we got jumped by three guys. Lewis got the worst of it."

"Is he ok?"

"Yeah. I talked to him this morning. He's sore, but he's ok. I...was worried about him for a while, though."

"How could you put him in that position?"

"I-I..." He closed his eyes for a minute. "I didn't know, Alex. God help me, I didn't know."

That did it. She couldn't be mad at him any more. She crossed to him and let him take her in his arms and hold her. She knew he would never have knowingly put Lewis, or anyone else, at any risk. Softly, she said, "You really don't want to tell me, do you?"

"It's not that. I just...please don't be mad, but I want to protect you."

"Protect me from what?"

He kissed her forehead. "Just...protect you."

He couldn't tell her what was going on, not until he knew more about it. When all was said and done, he realized, her career, and maybe more, would hang in the balance, so he had to be absolutely sure he did what he had to do, and he did it right. He'd been through enough, and he was not going to let the past take her from him.

-----------------------------------------------

He waited until she was sleeping before he slipped from bed and left the room. In the living room, he picked up the phone and dialed a number he knew by heart. "It's Goren."

"What the hell? It's after midnight, Goren," Logan grumbled.

"I know. Sorry. Did you find out anything today?"

"No. I'm not going near this case without you. Barek and I helped Bishop finish up the paperwork on your case. You coming in tomorrow?"

"Yeah. So Garner didn't call?"

"No, man. No one did."

"Shit."

"How'd it go with Alex?"

"How do you think it went?"

"She still pissed?"

"I think so."

"You mean you're not sure?"

"Well, I'm not sleeping on the couch yet."

"Did you convince her to stay at her dad's?"

"Yeah. We're here now. She's not going to put the kids at risk."

"Did you tell her about Lewis?"

"I had to. She thought I was lying about meeting him."

"She talked to Barek earlier. She doesn't know what to make of this, but she's giving you the benefit of the doubt. How is Lewis, by the way?"

"He's ok. So she still trusts me?"

From behind him, a voice said, "Yes, Bobby. I still trust you."

_Shit_. "I gotta go, Mike. I'll see you in the morning."

"Good luck."

"Yeah. Thanks."

He set the phone in its cradle, but didn't turn around. She came around with the baby in her arms and sat beside him. He turned his head to look at her. "I, um, I didn't want to wake you."

"Don't worry; Tommy took care of that. You're calling Logan after midnight?"

"I didn't have a chance earlier."

"When are you going to be able to tell me what's going on?"

He leaned back and pulled her into his arms. "I will, baby, as soon as I can. Ok?"

She rested her head against him. He rested a hand on the baby's soft head. Softly, he said, "You mean the world to me, Alex. Anything I do is with you in mind, including this. Trust me."

"Is it going to be over by the time I come back to work?"

"I hope so."

"Are you going to stay here with us?"

He sighed. "I...I can't. There would be no point in you staying here if I did. Alex, _I_ am the reason you'd be at risk. But I'll come when I can...God, I hate this."

He got up and headed back to the bedroom. She sat quietly holding the baby for a while, thinking. Finally, she got up and followed him. She set the baby in his cradle and climbed into bed beside him. He was turned away from her, so she slid up against him, resting her cheek on the side of his head. "We'll get through it, ok?" she whispered. "You get done with whatever it is you have to do, and then we'll get on with our lives the way they're supposed to be." She placed a kiss in front of his ear. "Maggie's really going to miss you. Who's she going to play with?"

He didn't move and he didn't reply. She slid her arm around him. "Come on, Bobby."

He rolled onto his back, and she settled into the hollow of his shoulder. "Don't think for a second that I want it this way. There's no place I'd rather be than with you and the kids. It's not supposed to be like this, you know," he muttered.

"We all do what we have to."

"Forgive me for upsetting you?"

"Don't I always?" She kissed him. "Make sure you leave the car seats, ok?"

"I will. Go back to sleep, before the baby has you up again."

She lightly caressed his chest. "Too bad you can't feed him," she said sleepily.

"I'll give him a bottle if you want me to."

"No. Not yet. Wait until he's a little older."

"Whatever you say. Good night, Alex."

She tightened her grip around him. "Good night, Bobby."

She went to sleep quickly, and he held her, but he couldn't sleep. His mind was reviewing the case, and the repercussions it could have in his wife's life...and his. He had lost her to someone else once...he was _not_ going to lose her to him again.


	4. Saying Goodbye

He was being watched; he could feel it. Slowly, he opened his eyes, looking into a pretty set of deep brown eyes that matched his own. He glanced at the clock. 4:29. He hadn't been sleeping long, but he smiled anyway. He always had a smile for her. "What's the matter, little mouse?"

"I had a bad dream."

"About what?"

"Monsters were chasing me, and they had big guns."

"Oh, baby, come here." He lifted her into the bed and covered her with the blanket, holding her close so she would feel safe. "Nobody's gonna hurt you, Maggie. I promise."

He kissed her head. She settled against him and closed her eyes. Beside him, Alex shifted, sliding her arm over his waist. Her hand came to rest on Maggie's leg, and she whispered into his ear, "Is she ok?"

"Yeah. She had a nightmare."

"God, she is just like you. What was it about?"

"Monsters chasing her with big guns."

She gently rubbed Maggie's leg. "Poor baby. Is she sleeping again?"

"Yes. If she wasn't she'd have started bouncing all over you when you started talking."

"That's true."

He sighed heavily, but didn't say anything more. "What's wrong?" she asked.

"I'm gonna miss this."

"It won't be for long."

"Even if it was just for a day, I'd miss it."

She reached up and smoothed her hand through his hair. "We'll miss you, too." She moved until her lips were next to his ear. "_I_ will miss you."

He rolled onto his back, turning his head to look at her in the dim light. "I'm sorry. It's not fair to leave you alone with the kids..."

"Shh. You have a job to do, so do it. I'm not alone. Dad will help me."

"But that's not his responsibility. It's mine."

She softly kissed his lips. "Do you remember how it was before?"

"Before what?"

"Before us. Before I left Ricky."

"Of course I do."

"Well, I'm happy now, and that's because of you. I had a miserable marriage, but the happy times for me back then were always the times I spent with you. So do what you have to do, get it done, and then we'll all go home. Ok?"

He brought his hand up to caress her cheek. "Ok."

She pressed her body against his, resting her head on his shoulder, and went back to sleep. He watched her sleep, wishing, again, that he could fall to sleep that easily. But sleep never came easy for him...and it never stayed long. So he turned his mind back to the case...and waited for sleep to return.

-------------------------------------

The alarm went off and Maggie sat up. "It's morning," she announced.

He reached over and shut off the alarm. Kissing Alex on the temple, he whispered, "I'll get her breakfast before I go."

"Thanks," she mumbled, turning over and pulling the blanket up around her shoulders. He got up and pulled a suit from the closet. He kept several here, just in case they stayed the night. Maggie bounced from the room. He wondered if he had been as bouncy when he was little. He had to have been oblivious and happy at some point, but it was too long ago for him to remember.

Maggie climbed up to the table and hopped into her booster seat, waiting for someone to appear in the kitchen to give her breakfast. She swung her feet under the table and sang _Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star_ to herself. After a few minutes, her father came into the room. "Ok, what are we having for breakfast?"

"Waffles."

"Waffles..." _There had better be frozen waffles in here_, he thought as he opened the freezer. "Ok, waffles."

He pulled out a box of frozen waffles and slid two into the toaster. Once he had the coffee going, the waffles were done. "One or two?"

"Two!"

He set two more into the toaster and put butter and syrup on hers, cutting them into manageable squares for her. Setting her plate in front of her, he got her a glass of orange juice. Getting his breakfast together, he sat beside her and they had breakfast together. She chattered through the meal, and he simply enjoyed being with her and listening to her.

After breakfast, he cleaned her up and carried her into the living room. Sitting her on his lap, he quietly said, "Hey, mouse, you and Mommy and the baby are going to stay here with Grandpa for a little while."

She frowned. "Why?"

"Because I have to be gone."

She thought about that a little, and she didn't like it. "But why, Daddy? I don't want you gone."

He kissed her forehead. "I don't want to be gone either, but I have to."

"You don't like the baby?"

"Oh, no, honey. It has nothing to do with Tommy. This is work. And Grandpa needs you to stay with him, so you can take care of him like you take care of me." He touched his forehead to hers. "And I need you to help Mommy with Tommy. Ok?"

"Can't I go with you?"

"No. And I'll miss you."

Her lower lip quivered and he pulled her against his chest. "Shhh. I'll come by to see you, but I can't stay. It's just for awhile, mouse. I'll be back."

She sobbed softly and he held her for as long as he could. "Come on. Lay down with Mommy for a little while, until Grandpa gets up."

He carried her to the bedroom and set her gently on the bed. She crawled to her mother and curled up against her, still sobbing. Alex turned to look at him. "You told her?"

"I had to. I couldn't just not come home."

She nodded. He was right. She pulled Maggie into her arms and held her as he leaned over and kissed her curly head. "Be a good girl."

He met his wife's eyes. She laid her hand on his cheek. "Be careful, Bobby. I love you."

"I love you, too. I'll call you later." He kissed her, lingering, not wanting to go. "I'll miss you."

Stopping at the cradle, he kissed his sleeping son and then left. Out in the driveway, he took the car seats out of the car and set them in the garage. Then he got in the SUV and backed out of the driveway. Sometimes, life really sucked.

-------------------------------------

Logan looked up from his desk when Goren came into the squad room. He'd been waiting for him. He got up and met him before he got to his desk. "You look like shit."

"Thanks. What do you want?"

"Cranky this morning, aren't we? You and Alex have a fight?"

"No. I just...well, I don't like this, that's all."

"Like what?"

"Being forced to be away from my family, that's what."

"It's a helluva lot better than burying them, isn't it?"

Goren tensed, eyes flaring, but he calmed himself down. "I'm sorry. What did you want?"

"Garner called."

"And?"

"Stage one begins tonight. We need to talk to Deakins."

"Let's do it, then."

Logan poked his head into the captain's office. "Knock, knock."

Deakins looked up. "What's up?"

They entered the office and sat down. Deakins looked at Goren with a frown. "You look like hell, Bobby. Everything ok?"

"Everything's fine. I just didn't sleep well last night, that's all."

"How's Alex feeling?"

"Tired and pissed off."

"I can't blame her. What about you?"

"The same. You didn't have to tell Maggie I wasn't coming home."

Deakins looked sympathetic. "She didn't take it well, huh?"

"No."

"No surprise there," Logan commented.

The captain frowned. "So what's going on? You hear from your contact?"

"Yeah. There's a delivery coming in tonight."

"Where?"

"Jersey. Atlantic City, of all places."

"Great. He have an exact location?"

"Not yet, but he has my cell number."

"Oh, speaking of cells..." He pulled open a drawer and handed Goren a phone. "Try not to trash that one."

He nodded. "I'll try."

Deakins looked back at Logan. "When's the drop off?"

"Eleven tonight."

"Be careful and bring me back some salt water taffy."


	5. Heading to Jersey

After lunch, Logan walked over to Goren's desk. "We'd better head out and get ready. We need to be in Atlantic City by nine."

"I'll meet you back here at 4:30."

"You going to see the family?"

"No. Just to the apartment."

Logan leaned on the desk. "Sorry I'm not Eames. I know you'd rather be doing this with her."

"Actually, no. Not this."

Logan nodded, understanding. He hit Goren on the shoulder. "See you in a couple of hours."

Goren nodded and picked up the phone, dialing Eames' number. "Hey," she answered.

"Deakins replaced my phone. Same number."

"Ok. Good."

"Logan and I are going to be gone on a stake out tonight, so I'll be out of touch, maybe all night. I'll call you when we're done."

"Not at three in the morning, though."

"No. It'll probably be later in the morning."

"Please be careful."

"We will. How's Maggie?"

"She's been moping all day, but she's fine. Dad's going to take her out to play in the snow. That should cheer her up."

"I guess Logan would tell you the same about me."

"You're moping around?"

"According to him."

She laughed. "Cheer up. She'll be fine."

"Give her a hug for me."

"And she'll give me one for you, like she always does."

He smiled. "I'll talk to you when I can."

"Bobby?"

"What?"

"I'm sorry I got mad at you. I do understand."

"Thanks, Alex. I wish circumstances were different."

"So do I. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Ok. I love you."

"Love you, too."

He hung up the phone and sat back in his chair, looking at her empty desk. "Uh, Goren?"

He turned tired eyes toward Bishop. "What's wrong, Bishop?"

She pulled up a desk chair and sat down. "What's going on? I was assigned as your partner until Eames gets back and now I'm working with Barek and you're with Logan. Did I do something wrong?"

He shook his head. "No. It's not you. It's this case that's come up. It's related to something that happened a few months ago that Logan and I were involved with, so Deakins has put us on it. It's getting involved now, and it just makes sense for you to work with Barek while we handle this. You didn't do anything, and I don't have a problem working with you."

"Except that I'm not Eames."

His mouth formed a small smile. "I have that problem with everyone, I'm told. Barek's a great cop. Give her a chance. She puts up with Logan, so you should be a nice reprieve for her while I borrow her partner."

"You're sure it's not me?"

"Positive. If I had a problem working with you, Deakins would not have brought you back two more times."

She smiled. "All right. Oh, congratulations on the baby."

"Thanks."

"They're both ok?"

"They're fine, thanks."

She got up and headed toward Barek and Logan's desks. He sighed and got up, looking once more at his partner's vacant desk before he headed for the elevators.

--------------------------------------------

The apartment seemed so empty. He wandered from room to room, alone. Walking into Maggie's room, he leaned against the dresser and looked around. Her toys were neatly stowed in the toybox under the window. With a heavy sigh, he made her bed and left the room. Stepping into the bedroom he shared with Alex, he crossed the room and leaned his arms on the crib that was against the far wall. It was the crib he'd had for Maggie. Colorful fish adorned the sheet and blanket. Remembering how she'd loved those fish made him smile. He hoped it wouldn't be long before his son would sleep in the crib and play with the fish like his sister had done. He sat on the bed. They had come so far. He felt a broiling fury deep in his gut that everything could be taken away from him. He adored Maggie and the baby, but if he lost Alex...he shook away those dark thoughts. No! He was not going to let that happen. He was going to fix it, make sure that the backlash left her untouched. This situation, however it turned out, was not going to consume his wife. She was going to be fine; he would make sure of it.

He got up. He couldn't think any more. He was going to lose his damn mind. He pulled out a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, quickly changing. He put on a pair of boots, grabbed an old flannel shirt and pulled a worn denim jacket from the closet. Putting his gun on his belt and his badge, knife and wallet in his pockets, he headed out the door. On his way back to 1 PP, he stopped at a small bodega and picked up a pack of cigarettes and a disposable lighter.

Logan was there waiting for him, talking on his phone and leaning on Goren's desk. As Goren approached, he closed the phone and swore. "Something wrong, Mike?"

"Yeah, you could say that. The deal isn't til 11, but Garner doesn't know where the hell it's going down, exactly."

"What?"

"Nice twist, huh?"

Goren ran a hand over his hair as Deakins came out of his office and approached them. "Problem?"

"A minor one," Logan answered. "We'd better get on the road before it becomes a big one."

"Well, get going then."

Logan gave Goren a shove toward the elevators. "Tell me this is one of your jokes, Mike," Goren said as they got on the elevator.

"I wish it was," he muttered, and they both fell silent until they got to the car.

Goren got behind the wheel and started it up, looking at Logan. "Is Bedford gonna be there?"

"According to Garner, yes."

"He's the bastard we have to catch or we have nothing on the rest. He's our bargaining chip."

"And he's not going to come along peacefully."

Logan thumped his chest. "Got my vest on. You?"

"No, but it's in the back. So what's the problem with Garner?"

"He couldn't find out exactly where it's going down. All he knows is that it's someplace near the boardwalk."

"That boardwalk is four-and-a-half miles long, Logan."

"I know. He's going to see if he can pin it down a little better, but don't get your hopes up."

"We can't miss this deal."

"I know, Bobby. I know."

"Sorry. I...You know how much is riding on this."

"Yeah, I do. Look, man, I care about Alex, too."

"I know you do. Did you ask Garner if they know where Alex and the kids are?"

"All he said is that they know you aren't with them. With this deal going down tonight, they've backed off on trying to find her. But they're still looking for you."

"Fine. Let 'em look. I hope they fuckin' find me."

"Not tonight! Damn...you know what happens if they make us before the deal goes down?"

"I'm not stupid, Logan."

Logan rubbed his hands together then dove on in to discuss what had been troubling him. "Will Bedford recognize us?"

"I don't know, Mike. It's possible."

"But we couldn't have sent Barek and Bishop. Maybe DeMarco..."

"No. This is our case. We can do this."

Logan smiled. "Alex always said you make a damn good junkie."

Goren laughed. "I had a lot of practice going undercover in Narcotics."

"Well, tonight you can put that practice to good use."

"What about you, Mike?"

"I'll follow your lead."

"Great. I blow it and we both get killed."

"You won't blow it. You got too much riding on this. You won't let her take the fall for this."

"No. I won't."

Logan saw the determination in his friend's face. This case had beaten him down over the last three weeks, but he gave him a lot of credit for not letting it show to his family. Eames had no idea, and that was exactly the way they both wanted it. At first, Logan was wary, uncertain Goren could pull it off. But he had, as hard as it had been, and that contributed to the toll the case had taken on him.

"What happens next?" Logan asked.

"Let's get through this first, huh? Then we'll talk about stage two."

"Fine." He was quiet for a minute. "You don't have a clue yet, do you?"

"Not yet."

"Great."

"I know."

Logan sighed, falling into silence as he watched the cars whiz by. After fifteen minutes, he said, "I see why Eames does the driving."

"Oh?"

"What does she say about your driving?"

He smiled fondly. "I drive like a drunken fighter pilot."

"Yeah. I can see that."

"You want to drive?"

"Nah. I like to live dangerously. That's why I'm going to friggin' Atlantic City with you."

Goren was quiet for a moment. "I, um, appreciate it, Mike."

"Tell me something. If I hadn't agreed to take this case, would you have taken it with Bishop?"

"No."

"I didn't think so."

"You didn't?"

"She has absolutely no investment in this. And I can't see you trusting her with something this important to you. You'd be doing this alone, wouldn't you?"

"Yes."

"Well, thanks for trusting me."

Goren shrugged. "You have an investment. You've been shot at and you've shed blood. And you've stood by me through the roughest time in my life. I do trust you."

Logan's phone rang. "Logan."

He listened to the person on the other end. "Yeah. Ok. Thanks." He shook his head. "It's a crap shoot. It's going down at eleven at the end of the boardwalk. Which end is anyone's guess."

"So we take a shot and have a fifty-fifty chance of getting it right...or we split up and one of us goes into it with no back-up."

"Great. That's just friggin' great. What do you want to do?"

"Are you willing to take the chance of missing it, or the chance of stepping into it without me?"

"It could be six months before we get the chance again."

"It could."

"I can't do that to you. Shit, Tom may be crawling by then. We split up."

"Mike..."

"It's cool. Whichever one ends up on the wrong end of the boardwalk busts ass to get to the other end as fast as he can. Whatever happens, happens. Not much we can do."

"We'll park the car midway and leave the keys under the mat."

"Works for me."

"I...really don't like this. Not at all. There are a hundred ways this could go south with both of us there. With just one..." He shook his head. "This isn't good."

"Yeah, well...that's life. We'll be fine."

Goren nodded, but he did not share Logan's optimism. He knew how many ways a bust could go bad on a good day. He'd been there when it happened, and it was never pretty. He'd lost two partners that way. But he couldn't back out now, not even to save himself or Logan. There was too much riding on this. They had to take the risk.


	6. Under the Boardwalk

"This is absolutely _not_ the brightest thing we have ever done," Logan said as Goren took off his shirt and put on his Kevlar vest. "Deakins already thinks of us as the two stooges after that stunt we pulled at Rikers with Waters. He's gonna blow a gasket when he hears about this one. And then Eames and Barek are gonna get ahold of us, and man! I wouldn't be you for all the tea in China. I'm not even sure I'll wanna be _me_ when this is over. Is the Foreign Legion still looking for a few good men?"

"Mike?"

"Huh?"

"Shut up. You're babbling. And it's the Marines, not the Foreign Legion."

Logan let out a heavy breath. The more he thought about it, the less he liked it, so he decided not to think about it any more. Go over the plan one more time and head on to their designated posts. Yeah, that was the best thing to do...and quit thinking about all the ways this could go wrong... "Ok. Let's at least make sure we're on the same page before the book slams shut on us. When Bedford meets his contacts, whichever of us is there will call the other as a signal, right?"

"Right."

"And the poor sap who gets the signal hauls ass two friggin' miles to the car to get to the other side of the boardwalk as fast as he can. Right?"

"Right."

"Piece of cake." He looked down at the ground. "Uh, Bobby, you do know that there's no way in hell either of us could make it in time to do any good, don't you?"

"Yeah, Mike. I know. Look, if you...want to back out...no hard feelings. I wouldn't blame you. After all, this isn't your fight."

"I appreciate that. But I wouldn't do that to you. And like hell, it's not my fight. It's my case, too, and I'm your partner. I've been through this with you from the beginning, Bobby. I'm not gonna turn my back on you now."

Goren looked at him. "Thanks, Mike."

Nodding, Logan looked around at the brightly lit casinos. "Did I tell you this is a friggin' nightmare?"

"Thirteen times."

"Well, this is a nightmare. Thirteen's an unlucky number."

Goren rolled his eyes as he pulled on his jacket. "I'll see you in a couple of hours, Mike. Be careful."

"Yeah. You, too."

They shook hands, separated and headed off in different directions toward the opposite ends of the boardwalk.

---------------------------------------

He sat in the moist sand beneath the boardwalk, shivering in the damp cold. He glanced at his watch. 10:45. He wondered how Logan was faring as he got up, dusted the sand from his pants and disappeared into the shadows. He began pacing. Turning his collar up against the wind, he pulled his jacket closer. Why was Logan here? Sure, this was his case, too, but there were probably other ways to do this. If either of them had half a brain, neither of them would be here. But he wanted this over before these bastards had a chance to drag Alex into it. Logan had no stake in this, though. He was here because they were friends, because he cared about Alex, too. And it all started the day Alex got married, when Logan had taken him home from the wedding. That was the day their friendship had begun, the only good thing that had come of that marriage. If this thing went down on the other end of the boardwalk, if anything happened to Logan, he would never forgive himself. _Please, God, let it be on this end._ It was going to be a long fifteen minutes...

Logan paced restlessly in the deep shadow under the boardwalk. Damn, it was cold! And that wet breeze off the ocean didn't help matters any. They couldn't have done this in May...no, they had to step into it in friggin' December. His eyes continuously scanned the area, but there was no one around. Big fat surprise. He looked at his watch. 11:05. He pulled out his phone. Nothing. He found himself hoping this thing would go down here. He'd like nothing better than to take out a crooked cop. Few things in life pissed him off more than a cop turned bad. Maybe that's why he'd hated Waters as much as Goren did. Sure, he hated the way he treated Alex, and he knew that was Goren's problem with the guy, but somehow, Logan had known the bastard was no good. But more than that, Goren had a family now. And Logan couldn't help but love that little girl of his. He tried not to think about how devastated Maggie would be if anything happened to her daddy. All he could do was hope this deal went down here, on his end of the boardwalk. He wondered how Goren was making out at the other end...

This wasn't good. Leaning against a pylon in the shadows, he felt himself start to doze. The cold and his deep fatigue were catching up with him. He had to keep moving, so he started pacing again. Better...he was warmer now, and awake. He looked at his watch. 11:12. No signal from Logan yet. He was beginning to wonder how reliable Garner was...

"Hey, Bedford!"

He stopped moving, eyes searching the sand in the light cast from the boardwalk above. He slipped his phone from his pocket. Hiding it in his jacket, he opened it and hit speed dial '3'. Muffled against his chest, he heard it ring twice and quietly closed it. Two figures were approaching. A third figured fell into the sand from the boardwalk. "It's about time you two got here. And quit shouting, you moron. Cops still patrol up there, even at this time of year."

The third man spoke. "I ain't afraid of no cops. Bunch of idiots, if you ask me. We been doin' this for more than three years under their goddam noses and they're still clueless."

Bedford snorted impatiently. "Yeah, well, don't get too comfortable. I thought I saw a cop I knew from New York on the boardwalk earlier this evening. I don't think it was him, but you can't be too careful."

"So what if it was?" the first man asked.

"You don't want to mess with this guy, Stryker. He's nuts. He caused a helluva lot of trouble for a buddy of mine last year. This guy's not afraid of anything."

Marco laughed. "Bet we could make him scared."

Bedford shook his head. "Idiot. My friend is the guy who started this...enterprise. This cop got him busted on unrelated charges and sent up for seven to twelve."

"Then your friend was stupid to get caught."

Bedford laughed bitterly. "Maybe. He had this sweet cover. Got married to a real straight arrow who worked in one of Manhattan's elite units. Everything was goin' fine until he found out she was cheatin' on him. Cheatin' with her goddam _partner_."

"Ya can't trust women," Stryker said. "He shoulda let the bastard have her."

Marco shoved him. "Let him have her? I'd have killed the guy."

"Yeah, well, we tried that. That's what got him sent up. Then he got killed at Riker's three months ago. I ain't gonna forget that."

Marco frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Nothin'." Paper rustled as Bedford pulled something from his pocket. "I got the cash and that .38 you wanted from evidence. You got the dope?"

"Yeah. Marco?"

"It's right here."

Cash, evidence and drugs exchanged hands. Time to move in. Swallowing his fury, he slid his gun from its holster, flipped off the safety and engaged the slide. The sound of the chambering bullet rose above the sound of the surf.

The three men froze. Marco said, "What the hell was that?"

"That was the sound of the other shoe falling," Goren replied from the shadows.

The two dealers glared at Bedford. "What the hell is this?" Stryker demanded.

Bedford looked into the shadows, panicked. "Hey, it wasn't me! I didn't turn!" Goren stepped into the light and Bedford's eyes narrowed at him. "It _was_ you."

"Nice to see you again, Bedford."

Bedford looked around. He didn't see any backup. No, Goren wouldn't be that stupid...would he? "What are you gonna do, Goren? There's three of us. You can't take out the three of us before one of us gets you. You may think you're bulletproof, but you're not. I've seen you bleed."

"Bring it on, man. I'm going to make damn sure that you're the first to fall."

Bedford went for his piece and gunfire erupted in the night, echoing along the underbelly of the boardwalk and out across the sea.


	7. We're in Deep Shit

Logan slammed the car into park and charged across the boardwalk, not caring he was in a no parking zone. He didn't bother looking for a beach access. He pulled out his gun, hopped over the railing and dropped down into the sand. About ten feet in front of him was a body in the sand. "No..."

Running forward, he felt for a pulse. There was none. But he didn't recognize the guy. Another body lay beyond the first, closer to the ocean. This one still had a pulse, but again, he didn't recognize him. Just barely in the shadow of the boardwalk, was a third body, one he did recognize. "Bastard," he growled, almost disappointed to find a pulse. If this son of a bitch wasn't key to their case, he might just have shot him right there.

He stood up and looked around. "Bobby?"

No answer. He continued looking around until he found him..."Aw, man..."

Scrambling across the sand, he pulled out his phone and dialed 911. Identifying himself and giving his badge number, he said, "I've got an officer down under the south end of the boardwalk. Get a bus here, now!"

Feeling for a pulse, he was relieved to find it, strong and steady, but panic rose inside his gut as he saw a dark stain in the sand near Goren's head. He rolled him over, relieved when Goren groaned. He found the bleeding injury where a bullet had grazed his skull. Checking him over, he found two more hits in his chest, stopped by his vest. Goren groaned again and his eyelids fluttered. "Stay still. There's a bus on the way."

He raised his hand to his head, looking confused when he felt the warm stickiness of his injury. He looked at his bloody hand. Slowly, he pushed himself up onto his elbows, wincing. He tried to take a deep breath, but it hurt. Logan shook his head, pulling out a handkerchief and trying to dust the sand from the wound in Goren's head. "Shit, man. Your wife is seriously gonna kick my ass...if there's anything left after Deakins gets ahold of us." He examined the wound, then looked at the placement of the two hits he took in the chest. "Damn, you got lucky. Good thing you had your vest on. Those two hits were spot on and you wouldn't be around to see those two kids of yours grow up."

Goren sat up and rested his throbbing head in his hands. "Mike, the trade was for cash and a .38 from evidence."

"No shit? We were right, then. It's not just the drugs. I wonder whose pocket they're in."

"We're gonna find out."

"Bedford isn't gonna talk to us."

"We'll see about that."

They heard the sirens in the distance, drawing closer. A few yards in front of them, Bedford groaned and started to move. Goren got to his feet, staggering a little. Logan grabbed his arm and steadied him. "You ok?"

"Just a little dizzy." He leaned against a pylon. "Give me a minute."

Logan glanced around in the sand, finding Goren's gun. He picked it up, blew the sand off it and handed it to him. Then he walked over to where Bedford was regaining consciousness. Bedford folded his arms over the wound in his abdomen. Slowly, he opened his eyes and glared at Logan, who smiled wickedly. "Hey, Bedford. Long time, no see."

"Logan, you bastard," he groaned.

"Yep, that's me. Ya know, Bobby, for a nickel I'll put a slug between this worm's eyes."

Bedford swore as Goren came up beside Logan. "Are you a fucking cat, Goren? I swear you got nine damn lives."

Goren ignored him, pulling some change from his pocket. "Sorry, Mike. Two quarters, a dime and four pennies."

Logan fished some change from his pocket. "Damn. I don't have the right change. I could owe ya, though."

Goren seemed to think about it. Bedford growled. "You wouldn't dare. You're too damn clean."

Logan leaned closer. "Yeah, he is. But I'm not. If I would deck a councilman on the courthouse steps in front of a city full of witnesses, what makes you think I wouldn't plug a no good dirty cop who has tried to kill my friend--what does this make, three times now--with _no_ witnesses?"

Fear cropped up in Bedford's eyes as Goren laid a hand on Logan's shoulder and held out his cuffs on one finger. "I'll let you do the honors, Mike."

"It will be a pleasure."

Rolling Bedford to one side, he cuffed his hands, muttering into his ear, "You have no idea how lucky you are that your bust went down here. Goren spared your miserable life. I wouldn't have been so generous."

He was giving Bedford his rights as two local cops stepped into the sand off the access at the end of the boardwalk several yards away. Their guns were drawn. "Hold it right there!"

Both detectives held their hands away from their sides as the two officers came closer. From the ground, Bedford said, "Help me out here. I'm a cop."

It took all Logan's willpower not to kick the bastard in the head. The senior of the two Atlantic City cops looked around, taking in the scene with experienced eyes. "Which one of you is Logan?"

"That's me."

"You made the call. Our dispatch checked with your captain. You're legit."

Logan glanced at Goren. "Uh, did the captain have anything to say?"

"No. He just told us that you were here investigating a case." He looked around. "Although I don't appreciate two cops coming from New York and shooting up my beach."

"Sorry about that," Goren answered.

"Who fired the first shot?"

He nodded his head toward Bedford, regretting the movement when the world around him tilted. Logan grabbed his arm. "Sit down, man," he muttered, putting enough downward pressure on his arm to ensure he'd take the suggestion.

The local cop stepped forward, leaving his partner to deal with Bedford, who was trying to convince him that he was the victim here. Logan glanced at the senior cop's nametag. _Ellison_, it read. He watched as Ellison examined Goren's head with an expertise most cops never developed. "You got a medical background?" he asked.

"Paramedic training. I worked Fort Worth and Manhattan homicide before I came here. This wound in your head needs to be irrigated and stitched. Where's that ambulance, Griff?"

"Hold on," his partner answered, turning his head to talk into the radio on his shoulder. "ETA two minutes. They got held up by the construction over on Pacific."

Goren was shaking his head. "I'm not going to the hospital. I'll see a doctor when we get back to Manhattan."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I just want to get done with this and get home."

Ellison looked at Logan, who said, "I'm not gonna argue with him. Look, we're cold and tired. I'll make sure he sees a doctor. He's not gonna want his little daughter to see him like this. How about we give you our statements and you let us get back to the city?"

Goren grabbed Logan's arm. "That .38..."

"Oh, yeah...there's a .38 someplace around here that we need to take back with us. You guys can process the cash and the drugs before you send it on to us, but the .38 we have to take into evidence now."

"Why?"

"It's a vital part of this case."

"So I assume this is more than just a drug bust?"

Goren nodded. "We're not narcotics. We work Major Case."

Ellison was quiet for a minute. "Ok, Logan. Find your .38. I'll sign off on it. While he's looking you can tell me what went down, Detective...?"

"Goren."

"Ok." He pulled out his notebook and pen. "Let's hear it."

-----------------------------------------

There wasn't much conversation as Logan pulled onto the Garden State Parkway. He adjusted the radio and didn't even try to engage Goren in conversation. After a short while, though, he changed his mind. He flipped off the radio and glanced at his temporary partner. "You ok?"

"Not at the moment."

"Head hurt?"

"Yeah, and my chest."

"We'll take you over to St. Vincent's. Uh, you gonna call your wife and let her know you're ok?"

Goren looked at his watch. "Not right now. I don't want to wake her."

"Won't she worry?"

"No, because she doesn't know what we were doing. She thinks we're on a stake out, which we were, kind of."

"So what are you gonna tell her?"

"I don't know yet."

"You gonna lie to her?"

"No. I don't lie to Alex. I never have."

"You're just gonna leave out a few details, huh?"

"As many as I can."

"Was this worth it?"

"What?"

"You damn near getting your head shot off. Do we know anything now that we didn't know before?"

"Yeah, we do."

"Ok, clue me in."

"We thought Waters was involved. Now we know he was. He set the whole thing up and got it going, Mike."

"Oh, shit. No wonder IAB is looking at Alex."

"He probably got it going while she was preoccupied with her pregnancy or shortly after Maggie was born."

"That was about the time he stepped it up with you, too."

"Right. I thought it was because of Alex and his jealousy. But more likely it was because of this 'enterprise' he had going. He didn't want me looking too deeply into his activity, so he distracted me with his jealous act. It worked."

"Now his buddies are trying to set things up so that it looks like Alex was involved in it, too...damn...no wonder you're so wound up. And she's got no idea."

"None."

Logan slowly nodded his head. "All right, then. Once we get in there with Bedford, we'll get this straightened out."

"Mike..."

"I know. I won't tell her. Whatever she finds out about this, she's going to get from you."

"Thanks."

"How much does Deakins know?"

"He knows what I do."

"So he knows they're targeting Alex?"

"Yeah."

"Are they after more than just her career?"

"I don't know."

"Are you a target?"

"You know I am. I know more than they're comfortable with, and I think they're going to step it up now. Bedford'll get the word out. We still don't know how many cops or even how many precincts are involved."

"Great. Drugs, evidence...anything else?"

Goren shook his head. "Not that I know."

"So who's in it on our end, besides IAB?"

"IAB is looking at the cops involved, particularly with the evidence tampering. Narcotics has a hand in the drug part with the DEA. You and I are expected to pull it all together."

"Holy shit, Bobby. This is big. Why haven't the feds taken over the case? That's something they get off on."

"From what I understand, they've tried. The chief isn't willing to hand it over. He says it's an internal issue and our people will deal with it."

"I ought to kick your ass for not telling me any of this before now."

"They asked me not to tell you anything you didn't need to know, and I agreed with it."

"Why?" He was getting angry now.

Goren looked at him. "Because you weren't a target before, Mike. I wanted to keep you out of it for as long as I could. But now they'll know. Now you're in as deep as I am. And I'm sorry about that."

Logan turned his attention back to the road, silently digesting everything he'd just been told. Finally, he said, "Well, I'm not afraid of Barek and Eames any more. Getting our asses kicked by our partners is nothing compared to what we're into now. We're in deep shit, Bobby."

"That's an understatement."

------------------------------------------

Three hours later, Goren was asleep on Logan's couch. He had fifteen stitches in his scalp and two broken ribs from the chest hits. Logan was sitting at the kitchen table with a beer, trying to unwind. He now understood why Alex and the kids were at her dad's house. He also understood the importance of keeping Barek and Bishop out of it. The coil was being wound and they had no clue how tight it was going to be when it was finally sprung. All they knew for sure was that it was going to be pretty tight and it was really going to hurt whoever was in its way when it was released.


	8. In the Captain's Office

Logan heard the phone ring, but it was an unfamiliar ring. Goren's phone. He was definitely not going to go fishing around in his pockets for the phone, but he could guess who it was. And he knew exactly what she would do next. He was not surprised when his phone started to ring. "Logan."

"Hi, Mike. Bobby's not answering his phone..."

"I know. He's asleep."

"What's wrong?"

"Um, it was a long night."

"Try again, Logan. I know him. He's not a heavy sleeper."

"Yeah, well, he is when he's pumped full of painkillers."

"What? What happened?"

"He's ok, Alex. I promise."

She was quiet for a minute, and he guessed she was going someplace out of Maggie's earshot. "You two were supposed to be on a stake out. Did something go down?"

"Yeah, you could say that."

"Logan, you do not want me to come over there..."

"No, no, Alex, we don't. Look, I can't tell you too much, but this case is more than we thought it was...well, more than _I_ thought it was."

"You promised me..."

"I know I did, and I did everything I could to keep that promise, but we got separated..."

"Separated...that's not how you back up your partner!"

He could feel control of this conversation slipping quickly away from him. "I know. But it couldn't be helped."

"You mean it was intentional? You went into a situation without backup?"

"We had to."

"I'm going to kill both of you."

"Yeah, we figured as much. How are the kids?"

"Do not change the subject, Logan!" Her voice was quiet, but Eames didn't have to shout to relay her fury. Her quiet hiss scared him more than her husband's raised voice ever did.

"We did what we had to do."

She was silent. Her voice was quieter, but still tight with anger. "What happened to him?"

"He got shot. But he was wearing his vest. That's why he's still alive."

"Did you get your bust?"

"Yeah, we did."

"Is he going to stay with you?"

"Yes. Until this is over, he's staying here and you're staying there."

"We'll see about that."

"Please, Alex. Don't fight him on this. It's important. You gotta keep those kids safe, and they need you. I'll take care of him and you take care of your kids."

"I see how you take care of him."

"Give me a break here. You know how he is."

"You tell him to call me when he wakes up."

"He will, I promise."

She sighed heavily. "I _will_ come over there..."

"I know you will. But don't."

"Good-bye, Mike."

He closed his phone and sat at the table, thinking. She wasn't going to let this go. Well, he'd let Goren deal with her. No one had more experience in dealing with a very angry Eames than he did. He flipped open the phone and dialed the captain's number.

"Deakins."

"It's Logan."

"What did you do, Mike?"

"We got Bedford."

"Why did I get a call in the middle of the night from the Atlantic City P.D. about you and where is Goren?"

"Goren's here and he's ok. He's gonna need a new vest though."

"He was shot?"

"Three times."

"And where were you?"

"Busting my ass sprinting down the damn boardwalk."

"What?"

"We'll be in later and give you all the details."

"You two are giving me ulcers."

"We got you two boxes of taffy and a bottle of Milk of Magnesia."

"I want you here by two."

"See you then."

He set the phone on the table and sighed. He had a strong feeling that their asses were in the fire and someone was cranking up the heat.

---------------------------

Deakins looked up when Logan and Goren appeared in his doorway. He motioned them in and sat back in his chair. Goren closed the door as Logan handed him a paper bag. Deakins took out the Milk of Magnesia and opened the bottle, taking a drink before he would look at his two detectives. When his eyes settled on Goren he shook his head. "What did you guys do?"

Logan opened his mouth but Deakins raised a hand. "No, first, tell me you did _not_ separate and go into this without backup."

The two detectives looked at one another, and Deakins swore. "You both know better."

Logan leaned forward in his chair. "Listen to us before you send us to time out."

Deakins waved a hand. "Go ahead."

Before he could say a word, the office door opened. The three men turned to see a very angry woman standing there. "Oh, shit," Logan muttered.

She slammed the door behind her and crossed her arms. Deakins started to stand. "Alex..."

She did not take her eyes from her husband as she raised a hand, palm outward, toward the captain. "Don't, Captain. I don't want to be placated and I don't want excuses. I want explanations and I want them now." She stepped toward Goren. "You went into this with no backup? Do you _want_ us to bury you?"

"No," he muttered, looking down at his hands.

She stepped closer, noticing the stitched injury on his head. Then she looked at Logan, eyes blazing. "And you..."

Goren reached out and grabbed her arm. "Don't blame him. Sit down and I'll explain."

She looked at Logan, then at Deakins. Logan got up from his chair, offering it to her. Deakins sighed heavily. "Logan, go get Barek. I'm not going through this twice." He stood up. "And I'm going to get a cup of coffee."

As the captain ushered Logan from the office, Eames turned to Goren. She reached out and touched his temple in front of the laceration. "What's going on with you? Do you have any idea what it would do to me to lose you? Or to Maggie? Damn it, Bobby, she would never recover from a loss like that."

"I know." He raised his eyes to meet hers. "But I would never recover if I lost you, and that's what this is about, Alex."

Quietly, he explained to her what he'd told Logan that morning on the way back from Atlantic City. "I-I didn't want you to know. I just...I wanted you to relax and enjoy the baby for as long as you could, not being all uptight and worried about Logan and me. I-I wanted..." He trailed off.

"You wanted to protect me."

He nodded, waiting for the lecture he knew was coming. But all she did was lean forward and kiss his temple. He looked at her, confused. "I thought you'd be mad."

"I give up fighting you about this. You're always going to protect me, whether I like it or not. But I'm tougher than you think, Bobby."

"I know you're tough, and I know you can handle it. But if you don't _have_ to..."

"I get it, Goren."

The door opened tentatively and Logan poked his head in. He'd lost the coin flip. "Is it safe?" he asked.

"Don't be an ass, Mike," Eames answered. "It's fine."

He pushed the door open and came in, followed by Barek and Deakins, who was relieved to find his office intact. He closed the door behind him. "Ok, we explained what is going on to Barek. Eames?"

"He told me."

Logan leaned leaned over the back of Goren's chair. "No new bruises."

Laughing, he pulled back to avoid Goren's fist as it came up toward his face. Deakins shook his head. "Ok, boys, that's enough. Let's hear what happened last night."

Logan started. "We didn't have a choice. Garner called and told me all he could get was that the deal was going down at the end of the boardwalk. He couldn't find out which end, though, and we were already on the way. There's no telling how long we'd have had to wait for a second chance at this. So I went to the north end of the boardwalk and he went to the south end. The deal went down on his end."

Deakins' attention shifted to Goren, and they listened intently as he explained what happened. "Couldn't you have waited for Logan?" Deakins asked.

Goren shook his head. "They'd made the exchange. They weren't going to hang around chatting."

"So now Bedford knows you're involved, Mike."

Logan nodded. "It won't take long for the word to get out."

Eames looked beside her at Goren. He had leaned his head on his hand and was pinching the bridge of his nose. His brow was furrowed with pain. She reached over and rested a hand on his arm as Barek spoke. "So what does that mean?"

Goren answered, "It means he's going to be a target now, just like I am."

"And Alex?"

He shook his head. "So far, no. They have been watching her, and they're looking for her now, but she's not a target. They want to implicate her, but so far intend no physical harm to her."

Eames frowned. "But in implicating me, won't that implicate you, too? After all, you're my partner."

"They don't want me implicated. They want me out of the way. For Bedford, it's personal. He blames me for Ricky's death. I don't know who else is involved, though."

Deakins leaned back in his chair and took another drink of his Milk of Magnesia. "So far, cops from three precincts have been implicated by the DEA and Narcotics, but they don't have proof yet. IAB isn't saying what they've found. Where's that .38?"

Logan pulled it from his pocket and handed it to Deakins. "Ellison is going to process the drugs and the cash and transfer it over to us. He signed off on the .38 and let us take possession."

The captain nodded. "Bedford is being transferred to the prison ward at Bellevue this afternoon. You boys go lean into him." He waved a hand in the air. "Go write your reports. I'm going to find a place for you to stay for the time being. Stay away from your apartments for now."

Logan frowned. "Are we supposed to live in these clothes?"

Deakins sighed heavily. "Ok, run home and pack your toothbrushes. But neither of you is staying in your apartments--got it?"

"Got it."

"Eames, Barek, stay put."

The two men left and went to their desks. Deakins looked at their partners. "Barek, how's it going with Bishop?"

"We're fine. She's not as exasperating as Logan, but she's half the fun, too."

"Eames, how are the kids doing?"

"The baby is fine. But I have to keep explaining to Maggie why her daddy can't come home."

Deakins rubbed his jaw. "I'm sorry about that. I'll tell you what. Both of you bring Maggie and Tommy to my place for the weekend. I'll see that both Goren and Logan are there, too. Angie will love having the kids around, and she likes you guys."

Eames smiled. "Thank you, captain."

"I'll be glad when this is over," he said with a sigh. "Logan and Goren together give me a headache _and_ ulcers."

-------------------------------

They had been to Logan's apartment and were now in the hallway outside Goren's. He slid the key into the lock and stopped cold. "What?" Logan asked.

"Do you smell that?"

He sniffed. "Smell what? You're imagining things."

"No. I smell sulfur." He backed away from the door and examined it closely. "Call the bomb squad, Mike."

"No way." Goren looked at him. "Ok. I'll call."

They headed down the hallway to the elevators as Logan made the call and they waited.


	9. Missing Daddy

Logan and Goren were sitting on the front steps of the building, waiting for the bomb squad to finish. The bomb had been disarmed and was being dismantled while the rest of the apartment was being swept for explosives. The other residents had been vacated and sent to a secure area half a block away. "Yeah, this is my idea of a good time. Sitting in the friggin' snow after nearly getting my ass blown to kingdom come. We should do this more often."

"Shut up, Mike."

A car pulled up and Deakins stepped out. He stood on the sidewalk, hands on his hips, looking at the two detectives. Logan saw him first, nudged Goren and muttered, "Remind me again why we hang out together."

Shaking his head, Deakins approached. "What happened?"

"Somebody rigged a bomb in my apartment," Goren replied.

"Anybody see anything?"

Logan shook his head. "Not that anyone will say."

"How did you find it?"

Goren said, "I, um, smelled sulfur."

"Before you opened the door?"

"Yeah."

"How'd they get inside?"

"I have no idea."

The building door opened and a uniformed lieutenant approached them. "Hello, Captain Deakins. These guys yours?"

"Yes, lieutenant. They're mine."

"They're very lucky. All you had to do, detective, was turn that key and half the floor would have been in the next building. We'd never have found your bodies."

Deakins' face was grim. "Somebody is very serious about this, Goren. I hope you are taking it seriously. Both of you."

"I've always taken it seriously," Goren answered with a dark frown. "That's why Alex and the kids were not home."

Deakins rubbed his jaw. He leaned closer to his two detectives. "I'm going to talk with John Eames. I want surveillence on his house, but I don't want it getting out anywhere in the department that they're being protected. I think I'll talk to him in person, let him pick a couple of guys he knows he can trust. Your family will be safe, Bobby. As for you two..." He sighed and stood back up. "Go to Bellevue and talk to Bedford, then go back to the squad. Let me think about what to do with you guys."

"I, um, still need to get in to the apartment."

The lieutenant nodded. "Go ahead. It's secure."

Goren looked at his captain. "Um, Alex and the kids...tell them, I miss them. And give Maggie a hug for me."

"I will, Bobby."

Fifteen minutes later, they were headed toward Bellevue.

----------------------------------------

John Eames let Deakins into the house with a smile and a warm handshake. Maggie came running. "Uncle Jimmy!"

He picked her up in his arms and hugged her. _This child has a way of wriggling her little self into a guy's heart,_ he mused. "How are you doing, Maggie?"

"Good. Did Daddy come with you?"

"I'm afraid not, sweetheart. He's working. But he asked me to give you a hug and let you know how much he loves you."

She pouted. "He's gotta stop working and come see me."

"He will. In a couple of days, you can see him, ok?"

Sensing she had no choice, she said, "Ok."

Giving him another hug, she slid from his arms and headed off into the living room. John shook his head. "She's always been that way with him. She loves Alex dearly, but everything revolves around her daddy."

"He's not any happier being away from Alex and the kids, believe me. We need to talk, John. Is Alex back yet?"

"Yes. She's feeding the baby."

"I need to see both of you."

"Is Bobby ok?"

"Yes."

John looked relieved. "I'll get Alex."

Deakins sat down on the couch, watching Maggie dig through her toybox. Not finding what she wanted, she went over to her bookshelf and pulled a book from it, bringing it over to Deakins and climbing into his lap. "Do you want me to read to you, Maggie?"

She nodded. "Yes, please. Daddy reads me this, and you know what?"

"What?"

"He even made me green eggs and ham. And I like it!"

Deakins laughed. "Well, we'll see if we can't get your daddy home so he can make green eggs and ham for you again." He opened the book "_I am Sam. Sam I am..._"

Alex set the baby on her shoulder and patted his back. A little burp sounded in her ear and she laughed. "Come on, little man, you can do better than that."

More patting and a bigger burp followed. "That's better."

She brought him down into her arms and held him in front of her so she could study his features. "You're gonna look like your daddy, Tom." She kissed his soft forehead. "That's a good thing. I hope you have his good heart, too."

"Alex?"

She looked over her shoulder and smiled at her father. "A little mother/son bonding time."

He returned her smile. "Deakins is here. He needs to talk to us."

Her smile faded. "Is Bobby ok?"

"Yes."

She sighed. Wrapping the baby in a receiving blanket, she followed her father from the den. As they approached the living room, she heard Deakins' voice. "_I would not eat them here or there. I would not eat them anywhere._"

She stopped. John turned toward her and, seeing the tears in her eyes, he drew her into his arms. "It's ok, honey."

She rested her head against her father and pulled her little son--Bobby's little son--closer to her chest. Taking a deep breath, she whispered, "I'm ok, Dad."

Deakins turned as they came into the room. Maggie took her book and said, "Thank you, Uncle Jimmy."

"Sure, sweetheart."

She bounced back to her toybox and Deakins turned his attention to his detective and her father. "Are you ok, Alex?"

She nodded. "I'm ok. I just...miss him. He is always reading that book to Maggie. Now she seeks comfort from hearing it."

John added, "I've been reading it to her at bedtime every night."

Deakins got up and approached her. "Do you mind?" He nodded toward the baby.

"Of course not."

She laid the baby in his arms. He smiled and talked quietly to the little bundle in his arms. "Just look at you...you look just like your dad. He's gonna have a lot of fun with you, little guy." He smiled at Eames. "Is he a good baby?"

"He's a very good baby. He seems to have his dad's good nature."

Deakins smiled, sitting back down on the couch. Maggie came over, setting a book on the couch, and climbed up next to him, gently smoothing her brother's hair. "He can't play yet," she informed Deakins.

"No, not yet."

She sat beside him and rested her head against his side. He looked at Eames. "She's moping, isn't she?"

She nodded. "Ever since he told her he had to be gone for a few days. She kind of just flits from thing to thing but she has no real interest in anything."

"Poor baby." He put his arm around her. He continued talking, not changing the conversational tone of his voice. "There was a small problem a little while ago. Mike and Bobby went to get some clothes and stuff because I don't want them staying at either apartment. Someone rigged your apartment..." He looked at Maggie. Even though she didn't seem to be paying attention, leafing through a book of Mother Goose rhymes, he knew better. He mouthed the word 'boom.'

Eames went pale. "No..."

"They're ok. It was close though. He had the key in the door."

"So what are you going to do?"

"I'm going to find someplace for them to stay. In the meantime, what I came out here to discuss with you, John, is Bobby and I would both feel better if someone was watching this place. I don't want anything going through channels and I figured you would have a couple of guys you trust who'd be willing to help us out."

John nodded. "I'll make some calls."

"They need anything, let me know and I'll get it for them."

"Thanks for watching out for my family, Jimmy."

Deakins nodded. "They're family to me, too, John." He looked at Eames. "You're still coming to my house for the weekend, right?"

"Yes. I...we need to spend some time with him."

"I know."

Looking at his little granddaughter, John said, "It will be good for them."

Alex leaned back into the chair she was sitting in. "Where are they now?"

"On their way to Bellevue to have a word with Bedford. Is there anything you can tell me about him, Alex?"

"Not much. He was Ricky's closest friend. They were inseparable since the Academy. He was Ricky's best man at the wedding, and he was with him the day they put Bobby in the hospital. He was behind the hit on the apartment and backed Ricky the whole way when they were harrassing Bobby. I'm sure he feels lost since Ricky died, and I'm not surprised he blames Bobby for it. He and Ricky both blamed Bobby and me because he got sent up." She shook her head. "You would think I'd have known my husband's best friend a little better, huh? I sure have gotten to know Lewis and Mike well."

Deakins gave her a small smile. "Hindsight is 20/20. We have the same information. Ok...I need to get back to the squad so I can be there when they get back from Bellevue."

"Keep them safe, Captain."

"I'll do everything I can, Alex."

He slid the baby back into his mother's arms, gave Maggie a big hug and shook hands with John. All the way back to 1 PP, he couldn't get rid of the image of the change in Maggie since her father went away, even though it had only been a day. They needed to get this resolved and behind them so Goren could go home to his family and his little girl could be happy again.

* * *

**A/N: Green Eggs and Ham is by Dr. Suess (and a favorite of children everywhere, including mine).**


	10. Interrogating Bedford

Logan and Goren stood in the hallway outside Bedford's hospital room. Goren preferred to do interrogations with Eames. They never had to strategize or second guess one another. They simply followed the flow of the questioning and each other's line of thought. It was second nature to them, working together. He wasn't as comfortable working with anyone else, and he never would be.

"So who leads off?" Logan asked.

"You do."

"So you can watch?"

"That's the idea."

"And when do you jump in?"

"When it's time. I can't tell you more than that. Just go with the flow, Mike. I'll follow your lead, and you follow mine."

"And if we trip over each other?"

"Then we'll look like idiots."

"Let's try not to do that, shall we?"

"Good idea."

They opened the door and went into the room.

Bedford looked up from his bed and frowned. "You're not the visitors I was hoping for," he said.

"We're the only visitors you're gonna get," Logan replied.

"Where's my lawyer?"

"He's on the way."

"I got nothing to say until he gets here."

"Fine with us. We're on the clock. I got no problem just sitting here." He walked over to the tray table and lifted the cover off Bedford's lunch. "Chicken, mashed potatoes and green beans. I guess my partner's bullet didn't do much damage to your gut. Otherwise you'd be eating broth and jello."

"It was a clean path, no damage, no surgery."

"You need to aim better next time, Goren." He turned his face up to look at Bedford. "I'd have aimed higher...or maybe lower...hmmm...tough choice."

"You're a bastard, Logan."

"You know, I hear that a lot." He nodded at the tray. "You gonna eat this? I missed lunch..."

"Go ahead."

He cut off a piece of chicken and held it out to Goren. "Want a bite?"

"No thanks."

Bedford turned his attention to the quiet cop. "I thought Ricky's wife was your partner."

"Ex-wife. She is."

"So where is she? Afraid to confront me?"

"Not at all. In fact, she'd love to have a shot at you."

"In more ways than one," Logan added.

"So where is she? I haven't seen her since the divorce hearing. You still protecting her, Goren?"

"I have no reason to protect her from anything. She can take care of herself."

"So where is she?"

"She's on leave right now, though it's none of your business."

Bedford's eyes narrowed. "You still screwing her?"

Goren bristled but he didn't respond, other than balling and unballing his fists. He didn't like the way this was going. But Bedford knew he'd hit a nerve. And like Waters, he didn't have sense to back off. "You are. Ricky knew you were, all along. Is that why you had him killed? Because she still carried a torch for him?"

Calming himself, Goren slowly shook his head. "This isn't about her. I know you're pissed because Ricky got killed. But, you know, he didn't get anything he didn't deserve. He was a dirty cop, and he took advantage of my partner."

"Yeah, he did. And she liked it..." Logan watched carefully, but Goren didn't move. He wasn't liking this at all. "Why do you think she put up with the things we did to you?"

Logan took over. "Because she didn't know it was you assholes responsible for it, Bedford. She never knew. My partner and I helped him cover it so she wouldn't do something stupid and get hurt. It had nothing to do with Waters." He leaned closer to Bedford. "From the very beginning, it was all about her, and making her life easier. That's all we ever cared about, all _he_ ever cared about. You want to know what makes her happy? He does. He always has, and Waters never did." He stood back and laughed mockingly. "That's why her kids are his and not Waters'."

Goren had recovered by now and he took over again. "Ricky married her just so he would have a cover for his drug ring. How long was it before you began tampering with evidence?"

Bedford narrowed his eyes. "From the start. We hid it well. Ricky was smart. It was the evidence clerks that looked like morons. Five of 'em lost their jobs or got brought up on charges." He laughed. "Only one thing Ricky ever did that wasn't smart."

"What was that?"

"He didn't kill you when he had the chance."

"Wasn't it one of you idiots that talked him out of it?" Logan pointed out.

"Yeah...but you guys killed him when we ran that hit on your place. I was the only one who walked away from it." His eyes narrowed. "I sure tried to get that little girl when she came to the door with you."

Correctly anticipating Goren's reaction to that, Logan grabbed his partner and shoved him against the wall. "No," he growled. "I'll finish this alone..."

"Ok...ok...let me go."

"You sure?"

He nodded. Bedford was smiling. "Ricky hated that kid because he saw how much you loved her. That was one thing that drove him nuts. The kid he thought was his loved you more than anyone else, and he hated you more than anyone else."

Logan stayed between Goren and Bedford. "She still loves him more than anyone else. So...I guess we gotta send you to Riker's, too, so you can get killed and Eames can live in peace. It's over, Bedford. We're on to you and your bunch. We've already told your drug buddy that it was you who turned and that's how we knew where the deal was going down."

Real fear cropped up in Bedford's eyes. "No, you didn't."

"Yeah. We did. I'll guess your life ain't worth, what?" He looked at Goren. "That nickel you were gonna give me to plug him?"

Goren nodded. "If that."

"You gotta protect me...they'll come after me and this hospital isn't gonna stop them."

Logan looked at Goren. "We _gotta_ protect him. Some nerve..."

"I'll give you the names of every cop involved if you see to it I'm protected."

Goren and Logan looked at one another. "We need to talk to our captain and the ADA. Maybe, if you were willing to testify..."

"I'll do it. Whatever you want. I can't believe you bastards did that."

Goren's eyes narrowed this time. "I can't believe you're low enough to want to harm a little girl."

"That was Ricky's idea. He wanted to hurt you, and since you were damn near untouchable...he told us to target the kid."

"And now?"

"There's only three of us left who Ricky trusted."

"The other two?"

"They're looking for Eames and the kid."

"I want names."

"I want protection."

Goren's voice was filled with menace. "I want their names or your drug buddies will never have a chance at you."

Bedford looked at Logan, who shrugged. "Hey, I love that little girl, too. You give him those names or you're a dead man. I promise you that. Remember, he's the clean cop. I'll gladly go back to Staten Island for letting your miserable ass get killed."

He looked from Logan to Goren and back. Two loose cannons...and they had him in their crosshairs. "Dwayne Jackson and Jay Peters."

Goren was out the door. Logan looked at Bedford. "You're a stupid son of a bitch, Bedford."

He took off after his partner. Goren was already on the phone when he caught up with him, halfway to the elevators. There was panic on his normally calm face. "Captain, we have a big problem..."


	11. The Nightmare Continues

"Dammit!" Goren slammed his phone shut and laid on the accelerator.

"What?"

"She's not answering and neither is her dad!"

"Are you sure about this, Bobby?"

"I'd bet my life on it."

"Yeah, well, the way you're driving, you're betting both our lives."

"Don't fuck with me, Logan."

Logan had learned long ago when to push and when to back off with Goren. He pulled out his gun and made sure it was loaded and ready. His second clip was full. And the rock in the pit of his stomach made him even more nauseous than Goren's driving did.

"Didn't Deakins say he was having the locals dispatch a couple of units?"

"Yeah. But I'll bet they have no idea what they're going into. Like I need more ghosts..."

He swerved around another car and Logan bit back a comment. He was hoping they would arrive in one piece.

The car fishtailed as he turned into the development. They heard sirens in the distance. "Damn, you beat the locals. How'd that happen?"

Goren didn't answer. Turning onto the street John Eames lived on, he pulled up to the house, screeching to a halt and slamming the car into park. He jumped out of the car; Logan was right with him. They both noticed the surveillence car. It was empty...and the front door of the house was just closing.

Goren was in the lead when they burst through the door. Two men stood with weapons drawn, facing John Eames, who was in the middle of the living room, face red with fury. "Hold it right there!" Logan yelled as he and Goren levelled their weapons at the two men. Logan stayed by the door as Goren eased his way toward his father-in-law.

They were dirty cops, they had been found out, and they had nothing left to lose. They began firing.

---------------------------------------------

Eames had just taken Maggie out of the bath when the front door banged open. Her well-honed cop sense told her something was very wrong. She ran to the bedroom she and Bobby used when they stayed there, pulling open the closet door. She set Maggie, still wet and wrapped only in a towel, on the floor. Hurrying to the crib, she grabbed the baby and squatted down in front of Maggie. "Maggie, I need you to hold your brother. Keep him safe and stay right here until Grandpa or I come to get you. Don't come out of this closet, sweetheart."

Eyes wide with fear, Maggie nodded and pulled her brother close. Eames kissed each child, grabbed a metal box from the top shelf and closed the door. Snatching her keys from the dresser, she opened the box and pulled out her backup weapon. Making sure it was loaded, she hurried from the room. She had barely closed the door when the shooting began.

--------------------------------------------

Most people run away from danger, but she was a cop. She was trained to run toward it. So she ran down the hall in the direction of the gunfire. By the time she got to the end of the hall and stepped into the living room, gun poised and ready, it was over. Sirens shattered the quiet of the neighborhood and the front door banged open for the third time. She raised her gun, but it was Deakins, gun also raised, who came through the door. He looked at her, then at the scene in the living room. The color drained from her face as she followed his gaze. "No..."

Goren and Logan were kneeling beside John Eames, whose shirt was already red with blood. Goren looked up at the sound of her voice. "Alex..."

She looked at him, then at Logan. "What did you two do?"

Goren got up and backed off, so she could kneel beside her father. Logan also moved away, looking at Goren, then at Deakins. "There's an ambulance on the way," Deakins said quietly. He watched as Eames cradled her father's head in her lap, then looked at Goren, who had withdrawn. He didn't like the look he saw in his detective's eyes.

Stepping away, Goren moved toward the kitchen, stopping at the sliding doors that opened onto the back deck. Looking out at the yard, but seeing nothing, he was at a loss. He knew that look on his wife's face, and he knew enough to leave her alone, although that was the last thing in the world he wanted to do. He ran his hand over his hair, clamping it against the back of his neck. "Bobby..." Deakins began, but Logan shook his head.

"Leave him alone, Cap." He turned to look back at Eames, who was focused on her injured father. "Just leave him alone."

More sirens announced the arrival of the ambulance. Deakins moved to the door and waved at the paramedics to hurry. Eames spoke quietly to the crew chief, then stepped away so they could work on him. "Bobby..." He turned toward her. "I'm going with the ambulance. The kids are in the bedroom, hiding in the closet. Bring them to the hospital with you." She turned away, ignoring the pain in his face because she had too much pain and too much anger to deal with herself. She followed the paramedics to the door. Turning back, she said, "This wasn't your fault."

"I'll believe that when you do," he responded.

She hesitated for a minute, then left without saying another word.

Logan watched Goren as he moved away from the back doors toward the hallway. Without any warning, the big detective slammed his hand into the wall, busting through the drywall. He disappeared down the hall. "Mike?" Deakins drew his attention from the hallway.

Logan shook his head. "He's on the edge, and it's not gonna take much to knock him off."

"What happened?"

"He tried to protect John. He never got a shot off, and I wasn't fast enough to take them both out before they got off a couple of rounds." He shook his head. "They both blame him for this."

"Why?"

"I don't know why Alex blames him. But he blames himself because Ricky was targeting him. That brought the danger here."

"It's not his fault."

"Good luck convincing either of them of that."

Deakins sighed heavily. "Go check on him, Mike."

Logan looked around the floor, searching. "Ok, there's his gun over there."

The captain gave him a shove. "Go, Logan."

-----------------------------------

Goren pushed open the bedroom door and shut it quietly behind him. He crossed to the closet door, stopping when he heard a small voice, sobbing softly and saying, "Shhh, baby. Mommy's gonna be ok. Daddy will make Mommy be ok."

He pulled the door open and Maggie looked up, eyes wide with terror and red from crying. "Daddy!"

She began sobbing uncontrollably. He took the baby from her arms and she threw her arms around his neck, crying and trembling. "Shhhh," he whispered against her head. "It's ok, baby."

He stood up, carrying them to the bed, where he gently kissed the baby's head and laid him down near the pillows. He took a blanket from the crib and wrapped it around Maggie. Gently smoothing his hand over her hair, he soothed her. "Where's Mommy?" she sobbed.

"Mommy's fine."

She tightened her grip around his neck, burying her face further into his shoulder. He frowned at an odd sensation in his lower abdomen, but pushed it to the back of his mind, focusing on his daughter. "Shhhh, it's ok. I won't let anything happen to you, mouse."

"The monsters..."

"No more monsters. Uncle Mike chased them all away."

She drew back and looked at him. "Really?"

"Really."

Her breathing was stuttered, but she wasn't crying any more. "I-I took care of m-my baby, Daddy."

"You did a great job. I'm proud of you."

He stumbled slightly, frowning. "Daddy?"

He felt light-headed and his gut was suddenly on fire. Gently, he set Maggie on the bed as the door behind him opened. Logan poked his head in. "Bobby?"

Goren turned. "Something's wrong, Mike."

Logan came into the room. "What?"

His eyes automatically went to the kids, but they seemed fine. Then Goren pulled back his coat and jacket. His shirt was drenched in blood. "Oh, shit..." Logan muttered. "Captain!"

He caught Goren as he stumbled forward. "We need another bus!" he yelled, easing his injured friend to the floor.

The last thing Goren heard was the horror in his little girl's voice as she yelled, "Daddy!"


	12. A KindHearted Surgeon

Eames was pacing in the surgical waiting room when her children arrived. She turned toward the doorway when Maggie yelled her name. Logan set her down and she ran to her mother, sobbing again. Barek came into the room behind Logan, carrying the baby. Eames waited, but her husband didn't follow. "Where's Bobby?"

"Um," Logan shifted uncomfortably. "He...he was hit, Alex."

"What? Hit where? What are you talking about?"

"During the gunfire...he got hit. He didn't realize it."

"Didn't realize he'd gotten shot?"

"He was more worried about your dad, and you. You know how emotional intensity can mask physical pain. I don't know anyone more intense than he is."

"How is he? Where is he?"

"He's down in the ER, and I don't know how he is. He's still alive. That's all I can say for sure."

She leaned back to look at Maggie, who was still crying. "Maggie, honey..."

"Daddy..." was all she could manage.

Eames looked back to Logan, then at Barek. "How's Tom?"

"Fine."

Her eyes shifted back to Logan. "Mike..."

Softly, he said, "He collapsed in front of Maggie."

"Oh, no..."

He nodded. "And she saw his shirt..."

Her arms tightened around her daughter. "Maggie, baby...stay here with Uncle Mike and I'll go see how Daddy is doing."

"I-I-I want D-Daddy!" she sobbed.

"I know, precious. Stay here with Uncle Mike."

She gave her a kiss and passed her to Logan, stopping beside Barek long enough to kiss her son and say, "Thank you, Carolyn."

She hurried out the door and hit the stairwell. She didn't have the patience to wait for the elevator. She ran up to the desk in the emergency room and leaned toward the clerk. "My husband was brought in by ambulance." She pulled out her badge. "He's a cop, too."

"His name?"

"Goren."

She looked down at the list in front of her. "This way."

She followed her to the cubicle where he was, and the frenzied activity there did nothing to settle the dread in her heart. A doctor looked up from where he was working. "Get that x-ray machine in here!"

Another one swore. "Have a crash cart standing by!"

A nurse came to her side. "Are you with him?"

She nodded. The nurse touched her arm, but she pulled away. "I have to stay with him," she insisted.

"Let the doctors work..."

"I'm not in the way."

The nurse leaned closer. "He's not doing well..." she began.

Eames looked at her. "And I have to stay," she said, leaving no room for argument.

One of the doctors looked up. "Are you his wife?" She nodded. "Let her stay, Kelly."

Twenty long minutes later, the same doctor stepped back from the stretcher. "Ok, he's stable. Get him up to the OR now!"

They pulled the stretcher out, stopping when the doctor grabbed the rail. "Hold on."

He nodded at Eames, who stepped forward. He had a breathing tube in, and a nurse was ventilating him. She leaned down and kissed him. "We'll be waiting for you, Bobby. I love you."

She kissed him again and the doctor nodded. They hurried off down the hall and he took her arm, leading her to a quiet corner of the ER. "We didn't get what happened. How'd he get shot?"

"Two armed suspects broke into my father's house and started shooting. My father was hit in the chest, but we didn't realize Bobby'd been hit. I was here when he collapsed at home."

"Who was with him?"

"His best friend and our little daughter."

"Oh, geez. How's the little girl?"

"Not good. She's very close to him. He...he didn't look good."

"He wasn't. He lost a lot of blood. If the surgeons can get the bleeder closed off right away, he should be ok. It was hairy there for a bit, but we never needed the crash cart, which is encouraging."

"The tube in his throat?"

"A precaution."

"And the ventilation?"

"Just helping him. He's still breathing on his own."

"So what do I tell our daughter?"

The doctor gave it some thought. "Tell her that her daddy will be ok. I really think he will."

She nodded, reassured, but still worried. "Thank you, doctor."

She headed back to the waiting room. Maggie had cried herself to sleep in Logan's arms. He looked at her expectantly. She walked to him and gently touched Maggie's cheek. "They've taken him to surgery. He...didn't look so good. I should have said something more, reassured him...but I couldn't. I was worried about Dad, and I figured I could talk to him here, while we waited."

"You didn't know, Alex."

"I left him...Mike, how could I have done that?"

She dropped into the chair beside him and he slid an arm around her. "Hey, you had no idea he'd been hit. Hell, he didn't even know it."

She rested her head on Logan's shoulder, gently rubbing Maggie's back. Her little body shuddered in her sleep and she whimpered. "She really saw him?"

"Yeah. I went in to the bedroom to see how he was doing with the kids and I guess he'd just realized he'd been hit. He collapsed against me...his shirt was soaked in blood. I couldn't hide it from her. I had no idea, or I would have tried. She freaked out and I had Deakins call an ambulance. Shit, Alex, I had no idea what to do."

"So what _did_ you do, Mike?"

"I just held her as close as I could and tried to tell her he'd be ok. Deakins took care of the little guy until Carolyn got there. Please tell me I didn't lie to her, Alex."

"We have to wait and see, but the emergency room doctor seems to think he'll be all right."

"Any word on your dad?"

"No."

Logan sighed heavily and looked at Barek. Tom was starting to wake and root around for something to eat. "Did someone think to grab his diaper bag?" Eames asked, looking around.

"Fortunately Carolyn was there," Logan said. He pulled the diaper bag from the chair beside him.

Eames took the bag and pulled out a bottle of formula. "Carolyn, do you mind?"

"Not at all."

She put a cap and nipple on the bottle and handed it to her. "He's never had a bottle before so he might not like it."

"We'll manage."

She returned her head to rest against Logan's shoulder. "I know how all this came about," she said quietly.

"How?" Logan asked, hoping he wasn't going to regret asking.

"I did it," she said softly. "I married Ricky and ultimately brought all this down on us. The threat...never left Bobby, did it, Mike?"

"No. But what happened today wasn't aimed at him, Alex. Maggie was the target."

"What?"

"Ricky's dying orders, apparently, were to strike out by taking Maggie from him. It seems he resented her attachment to Bobby when he thought she was his kid."

"You've got to be kidding me. In her whole life he never said a dozen words to her. Every time she tried to interact with him, he pushed her away or left."

"No wonder she preferred Bobby," Barek said.

Eames smiled sadly. "Bobby never, ever sent her away or ignored her."

Logan kissed the top of Maggie's head. "Nope. She has never doubted that he loves her."

Eames looked toward Barek. "How's he taking the bottle, Carolyn?"

"Like a champ."

"I guess it doesn't matter as long as it's food," she said with a small laugh.

They waited in silence. Barek burped Tom and he settled back to sleep. Maggie still whimpered intermittently in her sleep. There were many people scattered about the large room, waiting for word of their loved ones in surgery. Several surgeons came and went, stopping at the reception desk to find out who was waiting for whom, and then discussing the surgery with the families. Some were relieved; others were not. At least one family received devastating news. After nearly two hours, a middle-aged surgeon talked with the volunteer at the reception desk who pointed at Eames. Crossing to where they were waiting, he said quietly, "Are you waiting for John Eames?"

She sat up straight. "Yes. How is he?"

"We've transferred him to the ICU, but he's going to be fine. There was some damage to his right lung, but the bullet missed his heart."

She sighed heavily, relieved. "Thank you, doctor."

"The volunteer said you're waiting for two patients?"

"Yes. My husband was shot, too."

"Oh, he's the other shooting. They asked me to step in when I was done."

"Is he not doing well?"

"He's hit a rough patch. Let me get back there and I'll come out when we're through."

"Please take good care of him."

"I'll do everything I can."

She fell back into her seat. "A rough patch? What the hell does that mean?"

Logan shrugged. "It means we wait for him to come back and explain it to us."

Maggie whimpered again, shifting in Logan's lap. She suddenly sat upright and screamed, "Daddy!"

"Shhh..." Eames took her in her arms. The little girl started crying again as her mother rocked her and tried to comfort her. Logan looked at Barek, at a total loss. He smoothed his hand over Maggie's hair, not knowing what else to do. Eames smiled sadly at him, silently thanking him. She looked at Barek, who gave her a small smile of encouragement.

"Alex?"

She looked up as Deakins crossed the room toward them. He sat down next to her. "What's going on?"

"My dad is going to be ok."

"That's good to hear. Any news about Bobby?"

"No. They stabilized him in the ER and sent him to surgery. The doctor who operated on my dad said he'd hit a rough patch. That's the last we heard."

He looked at Logan. "Tell me again what led you two to find out about this."

"Bedford got freaked when we told him we let his drug contacts know he was our source. He gave us the names of Waters' last two buddies and told us they were after Maggie. Bobby connected the dots and realized that the detail we had outside John's house was the only way they could get at the family. I've never seen him scared like that, Captain."

"What I don't get is how those two ended up with the detail."

"Part of Waters' genius was flying under the radar. I'd bet money their captain never knew they were dirty and he trusted them."

Deakins ran his hand through his silver hair. Looking at Eames, he reached out and gently touched Maggie's cheek. She was quiet, her breathing still uneven. Deakins leaned closer. "Hi, Maggie."

She drew an uneven breath and her little body shuddered. "Where's D-d-daddy?"

"He's with the doctors."

She looked confused and sat up, frowning at her mother. "D-daddy's not g-getting another b-baby, is he?"

Eames couldn't help laughing as she pulled the little girl into a big hug. The other three adults laughed as well. "No, honey," Eames said quietly. "He's not. We just have you and Tommy. Right now he's...hurt, and the doctors are fixing him."

"Oh." She looked at Mike. "He's still h-hurt?"

Logan laid a gentle hand against the side of her head. "Yeah, he is, bunny."

She smiled. She always smiled when he called her bunny. She wrinkled her nose at him and he leaned closer and kissed her. "Daddy's gonna be ok, remember?"

She nodded. "I wanna s-see him."

Logan held out his hands and she climbed into his lap. Barek smiled. "Who'd have thought any female could have him wrapped around her little finger?" she said, looking at Eames and Deakins. "And she's only three."

They laughed quietly as Logan ignored them. Maggie snuggled against his chest. "Hey, I wish more of you females were like this one."

"Sorry, Mike, she's taken," Eames teased.

"Yeah, I know. She keeps telling me that Daddy's her best guy, right, Mags?" She nodded. "I'm ok with second place."

"Mrs. Goren?"

Eames looked up, feeling an odd tremble at the sound of her married name, which she rarely used. The surgeon dropped to a squat in front of her. "He's ok," he said. "Once I got in there and we were able to figure out why his blood pressure kept bottoming out, we were able to get him stable. We repaired the damage and he's going to be fine. He's in recovery, and he still needs some blood, but we're going to transfer him up to the post-op floor. He won't even need a stint in the ICU. I'd give him a couple of days and he'll be able to go home."

Maggie was watching him with large, interested eyes. "Are you Daddy's doctor?"

He smiled at her. "Yes."

"Can I see him?"

He was touched by the deep sadness in the little girl's eyes. He remained thoughtful for a minute. "I've never done this before..." He looked at Eames. "He doesn't look bad. We extubated him with no problem. I can take her back to see him." Eames looked at her daughter. That was just what she needed. "You can come as well," the doctor added.

Logan nudged her. "Go. We'll wait here."

She looked at Deakins, then at Barek, who nodded. "Tommy and I are fine. Go."

The doctor stood up as Eames rose and took Maggie from Logan. She followed the surgeon as Maggie settled her head against her shoulder. Although she had her father's insatiable curiosity, right now, she had no interest in anything except seeing her daddy.

The surgeon had been right. He looked like he was sleeping. "Maggie," she whispered. "Look."

Maggie turned. "Daddy!" she said quietly, sensing this was no place to yell. She squirmed in her mother's arms.

"Hold on, baby."

The doctor moved the IV line out of the way as Eames placed Maggie beside her father. "His injury is over here, on the left. Just keep her away from that area. I'll let the nurses know it's ok for her to be here."

"Thank you, doctor."

He looked at the little girl, snuggled against her father and smiled. "You're welcome."

Laying against his right side, Maggie slipped her hand into his hair, as she always did, and touched his face gently with her other hand. "Daddy's sleeping?"

"Yes, sweetheart."

She nodded and quietly lay there with him. A nurse came over to take his vitals, smiling at the little girl. She looked at Eames. "Dr. Carson said to let her stay. He should be waking up soon."

She nodded. "Thanks."

The nurse remained nearby, watching the monitors and writing things on a chart in front of her. He groaned and started to move. Maggie watched his face. "Daddy?"

His eyelids fluttered. "Maggie?"

He looked confused. Again she touched his face. He turned his head toward her and smiled sleepily. "Well, hey, little mouse." He shifted his eyes toward Eames. "Alex..."

She leaned over and softly kissed him. "How do you feel?"

"Like I've been hit by a truck."

"No, it was just a bullet."

"Just a bullet...ok..." He shifted his hips, groaning.

The nurse reached over to grab his IV line. "This will help."

She injected a small amount of medicine into his line. He shifted again, bringing his hand over to gently stroke Maggie's hair as he pulled her closer to him with the other. He looked back at his wife. "Your dad...?"

"He's ok."

He looked relieved. Softly, he kissed Maggie's head. Eames leaned closer. "Maggie was worried."

"You were?" he said quietly to the little girl.

"They took you away, Daddy." Her eyes filled with tears again.

"Shhh...don't cry. Did Uncle Mike take care of you?" She nodded. "Good."

His eyes were getting heavy. Eames said quietly, "Daddy's going back to sleep, Maggie. Do you want to go back out with Uncle Mike?"

She shook her head. "I want Daddy."

Goren muttered. "She's fine, Alex."

She watched his eyes slide closed, and she smiled warmly. "Yes, she is," she whispered, lightly kissing him.

The nurse brought her a chair. "Here, sit down," she said kindly. "We'll keep him here for another forty-five minutes or so, then you can go upstairs with him." She looked at the chart. "He's going to room 307."

"Do you mind if I tell the others? They can wait up there, can't they?"

The nurse looked at Maggie and nodded. "Go ahead."

"I'll be right back."

Still worn out from the horrifying events of the day, Maggie had gone back to sleep, peacefully nestled against her daddy, protected from harm in his arms.


	13. It's Not Over Yet

It was a familiar sensation, one he was very used to. A little hand was nestled in his hair. He gently pressed his cheek against her soft curls, kissing her head. She sighed softly in her sleep. Little noises came from beside the bed, and he turned his head, smiling. Eames was feeding their son. That was what he'd heard--the baby's little slurping sounds.

He heard another very different sound and looked toward the window, where Logan had stretched out his long legs, crossed his arms and gone to sleep. He frowned. Why was Logan still here? He shifted his hips and groaned at the burning sensation deep in his lower abdomen. Eames looked toward him. "Bobby?"

Logan sat up suddenly. "Everything okay?" He looked around. "Whoa, feeding the baby alert!"

"Shut up, Mike," Eames scolded him.

He turned his head. "Sorry, Alex. I didn't mean to look."

Shaking her head, she looked back at Goren, who had an amused smile on his face. "What are you smirking at?" she asked him, trying to feign annoyance.

"I like seeing Logan uncomfortable. It doesn't happen too often. He's usually the one making everyone else uncomfortable."

"Ok. You can invite him over everytime I feed Tom."

"I, uh, I don't know if I'd go _that_ far."

"Are you decent yet, Eames?" Logan asked testily.

"I was never indecent, you moron."

He glanced toward her and, seeing her now burping the baby, he relaxed. "Forgive me if I don't want a black eye for ogling you."

"You'd have to actually ogle first," she retorted.

"Um, Mike," Goren interrupted. "Why don't you go home and sleep? I realize your bed probably isn't a lot more comfortable than that chair, but it's got to be a _little_ more comfortable."

Logan met Eames' eyes, and Goren noticed. "What? What did I miss?"

"Um," Logan started. "Deakins told me to hang out here."

"Why? I don't need a bodyguard. I have Alex."

Eames laughed softly."Your bodyguard just gave birth, Bobby."

"Come on, man," Logan grumbled. "Don't you trust me?"

Goren rested his head back on the pillow. "Trust is a touchy issue with me, and I'm not going there."

Logan looked wounded. "I'm okay to trust with your life in the middle of the night under the boardwalk but not in a hospital room? Gee, thanks."

"Oh, don't pout. You know I trust you. Now _why_ does Deakins want you here?"

He sighed. He was tired and his back hurt. "Sorry. We're not sure the threat is over."

"Why? Bedford is the only one left. He's been placed under no contact and will go to solitary at Rikers."

"The threat's not coming from Ricky's goons. Deakins has...called in the FBI."

"What? Why? We were trying to avoid that."

"He's not going to put your life and mine in the middle of a jurisdictional dispute. He wants this threat neutralized without taking us with it."

"What about Alex and the kids?"

"We think it's over for them, but to be on the safe side, they're going to stay at the Deakins' while John recuperates."

Eames stood up and gently stroked Maggie's curls. "That's if we can ever pry her away from you again."

"And what about us?" Goren asked with a frown. "Dammit, Mike, I hate being apart from my family."

Eames crossed the room and laid her son in Logan's arms. She returned to Goren's bedside. "Bobby, what would happen to us if you were taken away forever?"

He would never win if she wasn't on his side. "Alex..."

"It's ok."

He shook his head. "No, it's not."

Leaning toward him, she laid a gentle hand on his cheek. She met his eyes, and he didn't look away. "It has to be, because that's how it is. Getting mad isn't going to change the way things are. Now you are going to do whatever you have to so you and Mike stay safe...for me and for Tom, but especially for Maggie, because her life would be devasted without either one of you. Do you understand me?"

He sighed in resignation. "All right," he said quietly. He let his eyes stray to the little girl snuggled against him, unwilling to let him go, even in her sleep. His wife's hand gently stroked his cheek and he sighed. "You know I'll do whatever you ask, even if I don't like it."

"I know." She kissed him. "And I appreciate it. Don't worry about us. The captain and his wife will make sure we stay safe."

He nodded and looked at Logan, who was making little noises at Tom and gently touching his lips to make him pout. "Quit teasing him, Logan."

"I'm not teasing. We're having a discussion here about how he's gonna be the man of the family while you and I are playing hide and seek somewhere else in the city."

"He's two days old."

"We're bonding."

"Great." He looked at Eames, who smiled. But he couldn't raise a smile. He wasn't happy about this turn of events at all. "Mike, are they even sure about this?"

"No, but we aren't taking chances. Unless you're willing to play around with _their_ lives." He inclined his head toward Eames and the children.

"That's a low blow, Logan."

"I'll take it any way I can get it. I'm staying here with you and when they release you, we're going in to the squad for starters, until Deakins decides what to do with us."

"He's not happy, is he?"

"Well, he's thrilled about getting to play Uncle Jimmy for Maggie there. As for us, no, he's not happy with us at all. He likes you and Alex as a team, and Carolyn and me, but he's not too thrilled with us."

Eames smiled fondly at them. "That's just because you two can't seem to stay out of trouble."

Goren frowned at her amusement. "We don't do it intentionally."

She gently stroked his arm and his frown faded. He was frustrated and annoyed, and she knew he was getting better as his restless energy began to return. "I don't know what to do," he grumbled.

"For starters, whatever Deakins tells you will do."


	14. Heading Out of Town

Deakins looked up from his desk and said, "Get in here."

Goren and Logan came into the office, closing the door behind them, and sat down. "Every time you two work together, I get a migraine."

Neither of them said a word, which was fortunate for them. The captain sighed. "I'm just glad John Eames is going to be ok."

"Hey," Logan protested. "That wasn't us. If we hadn't got there when we did, John would be dead and so would Eames and the kids."

"I know...I wasn't blaming you for that." He looked at Goren, who seemed pale. "How are you feeling, Bobby?"

"Better." He didn't like being reminded of the close call Alex and the kids had recently had, or the fact the John Eames had nearly been killed.

"Maggie was asking for you at breakfast."

Goren nodded, not surprised. "Um, thank you, Captain."

Deakins just nodded and waved his hand. "Having children around again makes my wife happy. And the girls love fawning over them."

"Great. They'll be nice and spoiled."

"Like they aren't already," Logan observed.

"Hey, you had a big hand in that."

"Who can say no to Maggie?"

Deakins laughed. "Not one of us. Thank God she has her mother to show her that she can't always have her own way."

Goren frowned in mock annoyance. "All that teaches her is that when Mommy says no she can come to one of us."

They laughed and Deakins shook his head. "Maggie is the most loveable kid I've ever known."

Logan grinned as he playfully punched Goren's shoulder. "Yeah, but she's Daddy's little girl all the way...since the day she was born."

Deakins sighed. "Well, while you two were busy giving the nurses at St. Vincent's a hard time..." He looked at Logan, who shrugged. "I've had the FBI look into things. Logan told you about the escalated threat to the two of you?"

"Yes, and I'd like to know where it's coming from."

"I know IAB pulled you into this, Goren, and you pulled Logan in. You busted this wide open, and that's good. But Waters and his boys were in deep, much deeper than any of us ever realized. Bedford is in protective custody now...three attempts have been made on his life in the last week, and I'm afraid you two are next."

"Alex and the kids?"

Deakins shook his head. "There's nothing to indicate they are in any danger, but I have two units watching my house...hand picked by me, from our squad. They're clean...and they know who they're protecting."

Goren nodded. "Who'd you pick?"

"McManus, Dobbins, Carter and Sanchez on days. Turner, Forsythe, Markus and Wilson on nights."

Both he and Logan nodded their approval. Deakins just smiled before he got serious again. "Now...neither one of you is going to like this." They both groaned. "Two agents will be here within the hour to take you guys into protective custody."

"What?" Logan jumped to his feet.

"No way," Goren protested.

"First of all, this is not open to debate. Second of all, I've spoken to both of your partners and they want you to cooperate because they do not want to bury either one of you." His eye fell on Goren. "And you have two little ones..."

Goren waved his hand impatiently. "I know, I know..."

"If either of you has another word of protest, I want you to think about Maggie. Ok?"

Logan sat back down and ran his hands over his face while Goren remained silent and looked at the ceiling. "Where are we going?" Goren asked.

"Out of state. I've already told Eames and Barek where, but you will be under a no contact order until we get this straightened out."

"Where is this threat coming from?" Logan asked.

"I'm sorry, guys. I can't tell you that. You two have done enough to my blood pressure. I am not having you take off to try and deal with this on your own. This case is now in federal hands, and so is your safety. Got it?"

They looked at each other. Deakins leaned forward, hands on his desk. "I said, 'Got it?'" They nodded reluctantly. "Now behave yourselves and play nice. I'll take care of your family, Bobby. Don't worry about them. And Barek and Bishop seem to be getting along well. I'll keep Bishop on for as long as I need to."

Goren frowned. "How long do you expect this to take?"

"I hope to have you home before your son is crawling."

"Great. Um, this weekend..."

"Don't worry. I'm going to figure something out so you guys can be together for at least a few hours on Christmas."

"Thanks."

Logan rubbed the back of his neck. "I suppose it's out of the question for us to go home and pack a few things..."

"Nice try. You can buy a new toothbrush. Barek ran by your apartment to pack some clothes for you and Alex sent a bag for you. They're out there by Goren's desk. Now get ready to go...and please...behave."

They left the office. Logan looked at Goren. "What the hell does he think we're gonna do?"

-----------------------------------

Neither of them had much to say as they headed out of the city in the back of a federal sedan. The agent sitting in the passenger seat turned to look at them. "You guys hungry?"

"Yes," Logan answered as Goren shook his head, still looking out the window.

"We'll stop at Burger King or something."

"Where are we heading?" Goren asked.

"Your captain didn't tell you?"

"No, but we're on the way now. What harm can it do to tell us?"

"Look, we understand how you guys feel..."

"Do you? I don't see you guys being pulled off your jobs and taken away from your families..."

Logan laid a hand on his arm. It wasn't their fault. Goren turned angrily toward the window. The two things that gave his life meaning--his job and his family--were out of his reach and, simply put, he was lost. The only bearing he had right now was Logan...

The agent looked at his partner. He felt bad for the two cops in the back seat. It was just four days till Christmas, too. Well, a little concession might go a ways toward making the three hour ride a little less tense. "We're taking you boys to Southbridge, Massachussetts."

"Southbridge, Mass.?" Logan repeated. "What the hell is in Southbridge, Mass.?"

"I think that's the point, Logan," Goren muttered without turning from the window.

Logan sighed. "Don't mind him," he said to the agents. "His son is three days old, his three-year-old daughter is lost without him and he's lost without his wife."

Goren smacked him. "Ow! Hey...if anything I said is a lie..."

"Just shut up, ok, Logan?"

"Fine."

_Yep_, Logan mused. _This is gonna be a blast_.

In the front seat, the driver's phone rang. He pulled it out of his pocket and handed it to his partner. "Gordon." He listened intently. "No...oh, jeez. Yeah, ok. I'll tell them."

He closed the phone and turned to look into the back seat. "Your suspect at Rikers... Bedford?"

"What about him?" Goren asked, suddenly interested in what the agent had to say.

"He was found dead in his cell about an hour and a half ago."


	15. Arrival

The sedan pulled into the hotel parking lot. "Ok, boys. We're here."

Logan leaned forward. "All I can say is there had better be two friggin' beds in our room."

Gordon pulled out his phone and dialed a number. Speaking softly, he said, "We're here. Yes, sir. Ok." He looked up. "Goren? Your captain wants to talk to you."

Goren took the phone. "Yes, Captain."

"They told you about Bedford?"

"Yes."

"You and Logan are now their primary targets."

"Captain, what the hell is going on?"

"Just be careful, ok? Waters ultimately led you guys into this, and we are trying like hell to get you out. Be diligent, Bobby."

"How is Alex?"

"Worried."

He closed his eyes. "And Maggie and the baby?"

"The baby is content just to be held. Maggie, well, she's fine. She just misses you."

"But they're safe?"

"Yes. They are. Don't worry. Between your wife and mine, your son never gets put down and the girls are home from school, so they keep Maggie distracted most of the time. It's just...bedtime that she really has time to miss you. I am going to know _Green Eggs and Ham_ by heart by the time this is over."

Goren smiled. "Sorry. I'd prefer to read it to her myself. I do know it by heart."

Deakins laughed. "I'll give her a kiss for you. Be careful."

"Um, just when do we earn the right to know who the hell is after us?"

"Good night, Bobby."

Goren closed the phone and gave it back to Gordon. He looked at Logan. "With Bedford out of the way, you and I are now the primary targets of somebody."

"Nice. But we have no idea who?"

"Not a clue. All Deakins would say is Waters got us in and he's trying to get us out."

"That tells us a whole helluva lot."

The two FBI agents looked at one another. "Come on, guys. Let's check in."

They went into the lobby, and the senior agent, whose name was Mahoney, motioned toward the bar. "Take 'em in there and get 'em a drink, Gordy. I'll be right in."

"Sure." He motioned toward the bar. "Come on, guys. This is on us."

Ten minutes later, Mahoney joined them. He handed each of them a key. "We'll be in the room right next to yours, and there is an adjoining door."

Logan grinned. "We'll be sure to keep it down when we bring anybody home."

"You bring anyone home," Goren warned. "And you'll be sleeping in the tub."

"Spoil sport."

Mahoney smiled and sat down at the bar beside Logan, ordering a cola. Then he turned his attention to the room around them. Logan leaned toward him. "Do they know we're here?"

"No. But you can't be too careful. Just enjoy your drink. I'll keep an eye on the room."

Logan leaned forward and looked at Goren, who was looking into his drink and frowning. He nudged him with an elbow. "You okay?"

He just nodded. The irony of his life had not been lost on him. All his life his mother had been going on about 'them' being after him, and now 'they' were.

----------------------------------------

They made their way to their rooms after deciding it would be a good idea to get their bags in the morning. Logan dropped onto the bed closest to the window. "Who's idea was the third floor?"

"Someone who knew you'd try to sneak people in."

"Hey, just because you gotta be celibate, why punish me?"

"Shut up, Logan."

The adjoining door opened and Gordon stepped into the room. "You guys ok?"

Logan laughed. "I will be when the room quits spinning."

"Lightweight," Goren said with a light chuckle.

"Wuss," Logan replied.

Goren held up a hand. "I chose not to drink straight whiskey for a reason. I can still function."

"I am functioning fine."

"So I see."

Gordon grinned at the two men. Goren walked over to the agent, braced his hand on the wall near his head and said, "Look, I just want to know one thing."

"Shoot."

"Don't tempt me. What the hell is going on? _Who_ is targeting us?"

Gordon sighed, lowering his voice. "It's complicated. Nobody knows you're here but your boss and ours...and your partners."

Goren grabbed the front of his shirt. "Why?"

He shifted his eyes. "Mahoney and I don't know for sure. But this is big, Goren. Trust me."

"Foreign threat?"

"No. At first we thought it might be the cartel that was supplying the drugs, but they can always find another market. They don't give a damn if they lose a distributer. Waters was involved in other shit, and that's what's gotten you guys in trouble. It was easy for them to find Bedford, but we're hoping it won't be so easy to find you."

Goren blinked his eyes in confusion. "S-so you're saying this threat is federal?"

"Maybe... Like I said, we aren't sure." He leaned closer. "But you should know...They looked at your wife, Goren. For a short time they _were_ after her. But they found out she had no knowledge of anything before it was too late, so they let her be. Then you and Logan got involved. I don't know what you guys know about any of this, but after the shoot-out down in AC, they stepped it up."

"The hit on my family?"

"That had nothing to do with the people after you and Logan. They would never have botched the job. Trust me, you guys are in serious danger."

"But the threat doesn't extend beyond us?"

"No. It doesn't seem to."

Goren shook his head. "The kick of it all is that Logan and I don't know much."

"Our sources say Waters was after you for years, and then you showed up at the boardwalk..."

"All that time we thoughtWaters was after me because of Eames. He was decoying me. I didn't get into this until a few weeks ago, and Logan got involved because I asked him for his help."

Gordon shook his head slowly. "Look, I've already said too much. Myabe we can sit down and hash it out tomorrow. I'll talk to Mahoney. Our...perception of things may be wrong. Try to get some sleep. We've got your back. Good night."

Gordon closed the door and Goren sat on the bed. _Shit_. He looked over at Logan, who was snoring. He kicked off his shoes, pulled off his t-shirt and laid down on the bed. Reaching over, he turned off the light. Laying with his arms tucked behind his head, he stared into the dark for a long time before he finally drifted off into a troubled sleep.


	16. Squaring Things

Logan tore another page from the small pad on his leg, balled it up and threw it at the garbage can. It hit the rim and bounced off. He tore off another sheet. Goren glanced at him, then looked back out the window across the parking lot. The sky was gray with storm clouds as it darkened toward evening. "It's going to snow," he observed.

"Swell. It's not like we're going anyplace." He looked up at his friend, leaning against the wall beside the window. "What are you looking at?"

"Nothing much. Just...looking."

"Ok, so what are you thinking about? And don't tell me you're not thinking. I know you better than that."

"I, um, I was just considering how big an apology I owe you for dragging you into this. If I'd known, Mike..."

"Hey, forget it, man. You didn't drag me anyplace I wasn't willing to go. We're cops, and this was a job that needed doing. You want to feel sorry, waste it on your daughter, not me."

Goren moved away from the wall. "Don't you think I am? I...shit, I don't know what the hell to do..."

"Yeah, I know. Being cooped up in here doesn't help. It's a nice room, but it's still a prison of sorts."

"I guess..."

There was a knock at the adjoining door and the two agents came into the room. "Sorry to leave you guys alone all day," Mahoney said. "Gordy talked to you last night?"

Goren nodded. "Yeah."

Logan frowned. "What'd I miss?"

"Nothing much."

"Come on with us. We'll grab a decent meal and talk. We have some clarifications to make. It's not going to change anything right now, but...well, who knows what's gonna go down later."

-----------------------------------------

They ordered dinner, gave the waitress their menus and looked at each other in silence. Mahoney finally sighed heavily. "I've been on the phone with my boss all day. We need to get some facts straight. I'll tell you what our sources have told us, and you guys correct anything you need to correct. Ok?" When both cops nodded, he went on, "Before you married her, your wife was married to Waters, right, Goren?"

"Yes."

"It's our understanding that she had no idea what he was up to, ever."

"Not until just recently, when we told her about our investigation."

"And why did you tell her?"

Logan replied, "Because she knew something was going on and telling her was a more attractive option than not telling her. Besides, we agreed she had a right to know why the father of her children might not come home again. She's a cop and she's his partner. It involved her whether she knew it or not. So we told her."

Goren leaned forward. "Waters was a bastard and he never treated her right. He played her. When I started on this case, I was afraid this last involvement of his would take her down, too, even though she was never part of anything he did."

"Tell us, then, why Waters tried to kill you."

"I can only guess at his motivation now. Back then, we thought it was jealousy. I don't know any more."

Logan said, "The harrassment came first. Then Waters and his goons ganged up on him and put him in the hospital. After the divorce they ran a hit on his apartment. It was the fact that his little girl could have been hurt that made him lose his cool."

"That's when you two went to Rikers?"

"After that," Logan said in a offhand way. "We had orders to stay away. That was it until the boardwalk and the hit on John Eames' house."

"From what we understand, it was the boardwalk incident that got you guys on the radar. Because of your connection to Waters and Eames, they were watching you, but your involvement never had them concerned until Atlantic City."

"Concerned about what?" Logan demanded. "We don't friggin' know anything! We knew about the drugs, and we thought that's what it was all about. We found out about the evidence tampering then, but it turned out IAB was already looking into that. I don't know what's going on but we haven't exactly been on anyone's 'need to know' list. I mean, what the hell...who cares if we walk into a situation half-informed?"

Goren rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "What brought you guys in?"

"Drugs and evidence tamperingare serious enough, but Waters was playing Russian roulette with his life. Eames is damn lucky. Clean or not, her involvement with Waters would have implicated her if it wasn't for you, Goren. Several key deals went down when it was known that she was with you. Ultimately, it was her involvement with _you_ that cleared her and took her _off_ the radar."

Goren shook his head. "We never knew."

"Don't worry about that. It's what saved her. If you'd gotten involved with chasing this down any sooner than you did, they would have already eliminated her. By the time any of our agencies knew what was going on, Waters had already been killed."

They fell silent when the waitress brought their drinks. Smiling at them, she left and Goren asked, "Was his death because of all this?"

"Yes. It was the investigation into his death that began to shed light on what he was really doing."

Logan threw up his hands. "The bastard's only been dead, what, three months now?"

Mahoney nodded. "Things escalated fast. I don't understand why IAB brought you in, Goren. You have been too close to this from the beginning, and that was taking a huge risk...not to the investigation, but with your life."

Goren nodded. "If I had known anything about the risks, I would never have brought Logan in."

"But if you hadn't," Logan replied. "You'd be dead."

Mahoney nodded. "He's right. Logan's involvement made them hesitate before they went after you. By the time they decided to move, we were on to them. That's how we got to you first."

Goren leaned closer to Mahoney. "I want to know who 'they' are. Who the hell is after us?"

'They' used to be a product of his mother's delusional mind. Finding a real threat under the same moniker made him more than a little nervous, and it stirred up memories he would rather had remained buried. Mahoney slowly shook his head. "I'm sorry, guys. That was the one thing the boss did not tell me. You know everything we do now."

Logan flinched when Goren slammed his hand on the table in frustration. Conversation ceased when the waitress brought their meals, but after she was gone, Gordon spoke. "We aren't high on the 'need to know' list, either. Your captain is further up the chain than either of us, and no one has confided in him yet. He's trying to find out more. So all we can do now is wait...and keep you two alive."


	17. Christmas Together

It was still early, but Eames couldn't sleep. She could never sleep well in a bed that wasn't her own, and she couldn't help wondering when she would be able to go back to her own bed, in her own apartment, with her husband...

Every time she thought about him, her heart would skip a beat. And she would worry more for his safety. It would help if she could talk to him, but he was under no contact, so she had to take Deakins at his word that Bobby was okay.

She got up, realizing sleep was useless. She went down to the kitchen and searched for the coffee. They'd arrived last night, at this nice house in Naugatuck, Connecticut. 'Just to get away,' Deakins had said. There was already a tree up, and Maggie had been thrilled. This was a nice adventure to divert her from her misery, poor baby. Now there were presents under the tree, thanks to Deakins' three young Santas. She smiled, recalling how excited his daughters were about getting everything ready for Maggie and Tom, even though Tom was only a week old. Only a week old...

Annoyed, she wiped at the tear that slid down her cheek. It had been more than half his life since her son had seen his father. And how hard that was for Bobby, she couldn't even imagine. She opened the refrigerator and pulled out a dozen eggs, a package of bacon and a carton of orange juice. Opening the cabinet beside it, she took out a loaf of bread and set it on the counter. Then she stood at the sink, her head hanging. Christmas morning, in a house that wasn't even in their home state...or the state he was in...alone with well-meaning friends...

She caught her breath when a strong pair of arms slipped suddenly around her waist and she caught a scent of familiar cologne as he buried his face in her neck and kissed it. Without a word, she turned into his embrace, sliding her arms around his neck and kissing him. Burying her face in his chest, she held him tight, unwilling to let him go. "Merry Christmas," he whispered in her ear.

Slowly, she pulled back, looking into his face. He wiped a tear from her cheek with his thumb. "I've missed you," he whispered.

"You have no idea..."

He rested his forehead against hers. "Yes, I do," he answered.

She fingered the buttons on his shirt, gently rubbing the soft fabric. He was wearing the brushed denim shirt she had given him for his birthday. With a smile, she leaned up and kissed him again. "I love you," she said softly.

"I love you, too."

She sighed heavily and rested her head on his chest, pulling him close. He kissed her head and enjoyed simply holding her.

An excited voice came from the living room..."Mommy, it's Chrissmas! Santa was here!"

Goren placed a hand under his wife's chin and, tipping her face up toward his, kissed her. Then he headed for the living room. Stepping out of the kitchen, he watched his little daughter looking at the tree. "Mommy, look..."

She turned to talk to her mother and stared for a moment at the parent who squatted down to her level. "Daddy!"

She ran to him and wrapped her little arms around his neck. He held her close and stood up. She looked at him, gently patting his face. "Santa bringed you for Chrissmas, Daddy!"

"He sure did, mouse. And he brought someone else, too."

Her eyes got wide. "He did?"

He nodded his head toward the hallway and she turned in his arms. Gently he set her down as she squealed, "Uncle Mike!"

She ran across the room to throw herself into her favorite uncle's arms. Giggling, she said, "We can play inna snow!"

Logan laughed. "Sure we can...after breakfast."

He kissed her and set her down so she could run back to her father. Eames came out of the kitchen, resting her head against Goren's arm. "Hi, Mike."

"How are you doing, sweetheart?"

"Better right now."

He nodded. The sound of a baby's cries came down the hall. Logan said, "I hear someone paging for breakfast." Eames took a step toward the hall, but he raised a hand. "Stay with your husband. I'll get him for you."

Crossing the living room, they sat on the couch as Logan returned, talking to the little infant in his arms. "Would you look at how much this tiger has grown! He's gonna be walking soon."

Maggie giggled. "He can't even play yet, Uncle Mike!"

"He can't? Gee, it sure felt like we were gone long enough."

He walked over to the couch and gently laid Tom in his father's arms. Maggie knelt on his leg and watched the baby looking up at his father's face. "Tommy missed you, too, Daddy." She leaned her head against his shoulder and said, "But I missed you more!"

He squeezed her against his side, ignoring the flare of protest from his still-healing ribs, and kissed the side of her head. "I know you did," he said quietly. "And I missed you, too. I haven't had anyone to share my bacon with except Uncle Mike, and he doesn't eat enough of it."

"Does he eat your french fries, too?"

He shook his head. "Nope. Only my little mouse grabs the fries."

She giggled again and hugged him. He turned his head to look at Eames, who smiled at him and pressed her head against his shoulder. He kissed her, happy to be with them for however long. It was going to be hard to leave, but dammit, he wasn't going to do this again. Then next time he came home, he was not going to have to leave. And he wasn't going to wait weeks or months for it to happen.

-------------------------------------

After breakfast, Maggie impatiently opened her presents, then ran to get dressed so she could go outside in the snow with her uncle and her daddy. Eames said, "I'm impressed. It seems her favorite present is the two of you."

Logan grinned. "Nice to know I'm _someone's_ favorite anything."

Goren was holding the baby in front of him, stretched out along his forearms. Tom was quietly looking at him. "I don't remember Maggie being this quiet."

"She has always had a more..." she stopped, looking for the right word.

"Ebullient?" Goren offered.

She smiled. "Ok, ebullient...personality."

"She must be like you," Goren said softly. "I don't ever remember being perky."

Logan laughed. "No, I've never heard you accused of _that_."

Maggie bounced back into the room, struggling with her jacket. "I'm ready!" she announced.

"Ok," Logan stood up, helping her with her rebellious coat. "Let's go."

"Daddy?"

"I'll be right there."

Maggie followed Logan out the back door into the yard. Deakins was quietly sitting on the arm of the easy chair his wife was sitting in, on the other side of the room by the tree. "You guys doing ok, Bobby?"

"Sure. We're having a blast."

"I'm sorry. I wish I could come up with a better way."

"How about letting us know who's after us so we can eliminate the threat?"

"You are not going to be doing any eliminating."

"I'm tired of sitting on my..." Eames closed her hand over his arm and he stopped. "Nothing's getting done," he said with a frustrated frown.

"Bobby, I'm doing my best."

"Do you have any information?"

"Not yet. But I need you to sit tight until we get it worked out."

He sighed heavily and handed the baby to his mother. Giving her a gentle kiss, he got up, grabbed his jacket and went out into the yard to rescue Logan from his ebullient daughter.

---------------------------------

After dinner, Logan was stretched out on the couch, exhausted. Goren was sitting on the floor with Maggie in his lap and Tom asleep in the crook of his arm. His wife was beside him, resting against his other side. Deakins' daughters were sitting nearby playing a trivia game. Emily, the youngest, was frustrated that her sisters were getting so far ahead of her on the board. "What is the capitol of Senegal?"

"Senegal?" she replied with an air of disbelief.

Goren whispered into Eames' ear. She smiled and got onto her hands and knees to move closer to Emily, speaking softly to her. The girl glanced over her shoulder, giving Goren a grateful smile. "Dakar," she announced, and her sisters laughed as she moved her piece on the board.

Deakins grinned at his detectives. Goren reached up and smacked Logan's leg. "Don't tell me Maggie wore you out?"

"You make my head hurt; she wears me out." Eames reach up and laid her hand on his arm. He grinned. "What's the little bunny doing?"

In response to his question, she bounced out of her father's lap. "Can we go out inna snow again?"

Goren pulled her back down. "Not tonight, mouse. Maybe Uncle Jimmy or the girls will take you back out tomorrow."

She looked at her father. "Are you and Uncle Mike leaving, Daddy?"

"I'm afraid so, baby. If you want us to wait until after you go to sleep, I can read to you."

She pouted and he drew her back against him. She crossed her arms over her chest stubbornly. "I don' want you to go."

He pressed his mouth against her hair and kissed her. "I don't want to go. But we have to."

"I don' like your work, Daddy."

"I know. I'm not happy with it at the moment, either." He glanced pointedly at Deakins. "But it shouldn't be much longer."

She climbed up and put her arms around his neck. He rested his hand on her back and looked at Eames. No...he was not going to do this to them again...and he had no intention of staying away for long.


	18. A Stupid Move

Mike Logan was worried. He expected Goren to be quiet after they returned from seeing his family, but not this quiet. Not that he would ever classify the guy as a chatterbox, but when he got this quiet, it meant he was preoccupied, and in their current situation, that was not a good thing.

Logan sighed heavily. "Ok, let's have it."

Goren looked at him. "Have what?"

"Since that's the most you've said to me in two days, I can only assume you are planning something I am not going to like."

Goren shook his head. "I'm not planning anything."

"Bullshit, Bobby. I know you better. Remember who you're talking to, man. Only Alex knows you better than I do."

"Please don't do this, Mike."

"Aw, fuck." He sat up and faced Goren's bed. "Let's have it."

"No."

He got up and crossed to the bed. "I want to hear it now, or I'm going to call Eames."

An amused smile played at Goren's mouth. "You're going to _tell_ on me?"

Logan couldn't help smiling. "Well, yeah...if you don't tell me what's going through that head of yours. I can't believe I'm asking that."

Goren sighed heavily. "I have put you in enough danger, Mike."

Logan sat on the bed and put his head in his hands. "What the hell are you gonna do?" He rubbed his forehead. "I told you that you made my head hurt. Eames and Barek are going to kill us."

"Us? Oh, no. Not us. Eames will kill me, but I am not dragging you any deeper into this than I already have."

"That's fine. But you know I'm going to have to go running off after your stupid ass. So we can do this together or we can each do it on our own. Personally, I prefer the first option. I don't like not having backup. But if you get off on that...hey, however you want to do it."

Goren sighed heavily. "Dammit, Logan..."

"You're welcome. So, what are we doing?"

----------------------------------------

Gordon rolled out of bed and stretched. He showered, dressed and knocked on the adjoining door. Opening it, he entered the room. "Hey, guys..." He looked around. No... "Oh, hell!" He ran back into his room. "Mahoney, get your ass up! They're gone!"

"What the hell are you blabbering about, Gordy? What time is it? The damn sun's not even up yet."

"Goren and Logan are gone."

"Gone where?"

"Gone! Just gone! As in not in their room!"

"You gotta be kidding me."

Jumping up, he ran into the adjoining room. "Where the hell did they go?"

"I don't know, but we better find them before the other guys do."

"Get Deakins on the phone. It'd help if we knew who the hell the other guys are!"

-------------------------------------

Deakins opened a new bottle and poured two pills into his hand. He got up and went to his door. "Barek! Get in here now."

He dropped into his chair as she came in and waved a hand. "Shut the door."

She sat down and watched him rub his forehead. "What's wrong?"

"I am going to kill them...if I ever get the chance."

"Um, why? What did they do now?"

"They ditched their FBI detail."

"What? Does Alex know?"

"Not yet. I don't know what to do about her. I don't want her to worry...but...I don't know."

"What are they doing?"

"I have no clue. I _told_ them to behave! This is _not_ what I meant!"

"Where did they go?"

"If I knew that I'd have them picked up. I have half a mind to put out an APB on their asses. They were in the city early this morning, because Logan cleaned out his bank account, and Goren took out a third of his. I sent units to their apartments, but nothing so far. They haven't been seen at the airports. So I'm putting you on this. Find your damn partner, before those bastards who are after them find them." He leaned back and looked at the ceiling. "I want you to work with the two agents they ditched. They'll pick you up at your apartment in two hours."

"Are you going to tell Alex?"

"I don't know yet."

"Good luck with that. When you do tell her, let her know that I'll find them." She sighed. "What about Bishop?"

"Send her in here. I'll put her with DeMarco while Sanchez is watching my place. It'll get him out of the office and off my back. Be careful, Carolyn."

She nodded, hesitating at the door. "Um, do we have any idea who's after them yet?"

Deakins shook his head. "I'll keep you updated."

"I'd appreciate that."

She left the office and headed to her desk. Bishop looked up. "Problem?"

"Yeah, big problem. Captain wants to see you."

"Did I do something wrong?"

"No, it's not you. It's my idiot partner and his sidekick. Take care, Bishop."

She left the squad, not knowing how long it was going to be before she came back, or if she would still have a partner when she did.


	19. Information

The doorbell rang...and rang again. "I'm coming. I'm coming."

Lewis pulled the door open. "Bobby! What's up, man? It's..." He looked out the window. "...not even dawn yet."

"I need to borrow a car, Lewis. Something nondescript and reliable."

"What's wrong?"

"The less you know, the better. Don't tell anyone you saw me, man, not even Alex."

"Aw, Bobby, don't do that to me. I can't lie to your wife."

"Please...this is important. I wouldn't ask if it wasn't."

"Shit..." He crossed the living room and moved a carburetor from in front of a small wooden cabinet. "Am I getting this baby back?"

"I'll do my best."

Sighing, he selected a set of keys and tossed them to his lifelong friend. "It's a black Escape. I just put a new engine in it and the owner decided he doesn't want it. I got a great deal on it, but I can turn a pretty profit if I can sell it. The registration and insurance papers are in the glove box."

"Thanks, Lewis."

Lewis gave him a hug. "Be careful, ok?"

"We will. Um, we need to ditch a car. I don't want to leave it here and have anyone trace us to you."

Lewis held out his hand and Goren handed him the keys. "It's a black Taurus, right out front. Park it by Grand Central Station or out at one of the airports, and do it now, before the word gets around and they start looking for it."

"Yeah, yeah...I got it covered."

"I owe you."

"Considering all the times you bailed my ass out...we're almost even...unless I gotta talk to your wife."

Goren smiled. "So long, buddy."

Logan was pacing on the sidewalk when Goren came out of the building. "Let's go."

They jogged the few blocks to Lewis' shop. "Lewis is going to ditch the Taurus. We're taking that Escape."

"An Escape...how poetic. I still can't believe we stole an FBI car."

"Not stole. Borrowed. They're getting it back without a scratch."

"Semantics," he grumbled as he got into the passenger seat. "Do you have any idea how many ways we are screwed, Bobby?"

"You can step away now, Mike. No hard feelings."

"Sure, but I happen to love that little girl of yours, and I'd never be able to face her again if I did anything to get her daddy killed. Let's go."

Goren started the car and pulled away from the shop. Logan leaned back in his seat. "Where are we going?"

"First, we're going to stop at Rikers."

"Shouldn't we be getting _out_ of the city."

"As soon as we finish at the jail." There had to be some way to get the jump on whoever it was who was after them, and in order to figure out how, he had to find out who. They had to risk a visit to Rikers, before the word got out that both the FBI and NYPD were after them.

-------------------------------------------------

"The last time you were here, gentlemen, you assaulted one of my inmates. Now I will admit he was never a model prisoner, but..."

"Look, Warden," Logan leaned forward in his chair. "We're investigating his death. Was there anyone in here that Waters confided in?"

"Don't you think the FBI, the DEA, the CIA and the NYPD have already questioned him?"

Goren looked up. "The CIA? Where did they come from?"

"Washington, I believe."

"Um, we need to see this inmate, sir. Now."

The warden studied the two men for a moment before he nodded. "Come on."

He left them in an interrogation room with the warning that if they laid a hand on him, he would be contacting Deakins immediately. The inmate, Harvey Mason, was brought in to them five minutes later. He sat down and looked at them. "So, who are you guys with?"

"NYPD," Logan answered. "We were told the CIA came by with questions about Ricky Waters."

"Yeah. So?"

"We need to know what they asked you."

He shrugged. "They asked if Waters and I talked and what we said."

Logan leaned forward. "Illuminate us, Harvey."

"What's in it for me?"

"We'll arrange something."

"I want to see my girl. She's eight."

"Fine," Goren waved a hand. "We'll arrange it. What did Ricky tell you?"

"A bunch of shit. Nobody ever believed me. They said I watch too much fuckin' TV."

"Try us," Logan challenged, looking interested.

Mason began talking. A half hour later, Goren and Logan left the prison. Neither of them said a word for a long time. Finally, as they left the city limits, Logan said, "Fuck."


	20. Getting Started

Barek paced the sidewalk in front of her apartment building. She had tried calling both Logan and Goren on their cell phones, but both of them went right into voicemail. They must have turned them off. She couldn't even imagine what was going through their heads, and at this point, she wouldn't even hazard a guess as to whose bright idea it was to take off. Tossing a coin would be as accurate as guessing. Idiots.

A black sedan pulled up to the curb and she shook her head. The passenger window rolled down. "Detective Barek?"

"A dark sedan. How original. How very FBI. Are you Gordon or Mahoney?"

"Gordon. Get in."

She climbed into the back seat. Mahoney looked over his shoulder at her. "You're Logan's regular partner?"

"Yeah."

"You know Goren well?"

"Better than most. I'm his wife's best friend."

"Any idea where they would have gone?"

She shook her head. "Sorry, fellas. This is new, even for them."

"They 'borrowed' our car and we found it out at JFK."

"Where did they fly to?"

"That's just it. We can't find that they flew anywhere."

"Then they didn't. Look someplace else."

Gordon turned to look at her. "If you have any ideas, we're all ears."

She leaned back in her seat. "This is all because of Ricky Waters. I wonder..."

Pulling out her phone, she dialed. "Warden's office, please." She waited. "This is Detective Barek from the NYPD. I need to speak to the warden, please."

Again she waited until the warden came on the line. "How can I help you, detective?"

"I'm looking into the matter of Ricky Waters' death..."

"What is the sudden interest in Waters? He pissed off someone he shouldn't have. There's nothing more to it than that."

"'Sudden interest?' What do you mean?"

"Two of your guys were here bright and early this morning for the same reason."

"Who?"

"Um, the same two who assaulted Waters..."

"Goren and Logan."

"That's them."

"What did they do?"

"They talked with an inmate and left."

"We'll be there within the hour. We need to talk to this same inmate."

She snapped the phone shut. "We're going to Rikers, boys."

Gordon turned to look at her and Mahoney glanced at her in the rearview mirror. "What?" she asked.

"How did you know...?"

"It helps when you know how they think. And that's no small accomplishment, believe me."

She sat back and looked out the window. In more ways than one, Waters was coming back to haunt them all.

---------------------------------------------

Logan woke suddenly, looking around the car before settling back against the seat. "You ok?" Goren asked.

"Yeah. Bad dream. Your wife makes one hell of a monster, you know."

Goren just smiled. He knew better than Logan ever would just how intimidating a furious Alex could be. Logan looked out the window. "Where are we?"

"West of Pittsburgh."

Logan stared at him. "Pittsburgh? What'd you do? Fly this thing?"

"Mike, we've been on the road almost seven hours."

"No shit? Why didn't you wake me? I'd have taken over."

"I'm fine."

"Yeah, well, that's a subject for debate. How about a pit stop? I need something to eat."

Goren glanced at the gas gauge and nodded. "We need gas anyway."

"You gonna let me in on the surprise?"

"What surprise?"

"Oh, like, where the hell we're going?"

"We're going to start in Colorado."

"Why?"

"I have a buddy there who may be able to give us some information."

"And we can't just, say, call him?"

"No. I don't want to put him at risk."

"So we're gonna just drop in on him?"

"Yep."

"Not a problem. A two thousand mile side trip."

"Maybe."

"You sure this buddy will be able to help us?"

"I wouldn't drive two thousand miles if I didn't."

"Which part of Mason's information is leading us to Colorado?"

"Joseph Haughton."

"The CIA operative he mentioned?"

"He works with my friend."

"Ok...at least we're not flying by the seat of our pants...much."

"We'll be ok, Mike."

"I sure hope you're right."

---------------------------------------------

Mahoney and Gordon were seated in front of Deakins' desk while Barek paced behind them, updating the captain. "Goren and Logan were out at Rikers first thing this morning, talking to an inmate named Harvey Mason. Apparently, Mason was Waters' only friend in the lockup. He's doing fifteen to twenty for grand theft auto and armed robbery."

"Why haven't we talked to him before?" Deakins asked.

"That's just it. We did."

"Ok. What changed?"

"Mason claims he talked to the FBI, the DEA, NYPD _and_ the CIA. And they all laughed at him and told him he watched too much television. Until Goren and Logan, nobody seemed to believe him." She handed him a sheet of paper. "I got this list from the warden. Every visitor Mason has had since Waters died, plus the names of everyone Mason mentioned to us. Bishop is running down the names now, but I'll bet money the agents who visited him are either not really agents or they're in somebody's pocket, or both. Same with our guys."

"So where are Goren and Logan?"

"I haven't figured that out yet. I don't know where they could have gone."

"Well, figure it out. Fast."

She nodded. "I'll see what Bishop has found so far."

Deakins pulled a bottle out of his desk and looked at the two agents in front of him. "So what are you two doing?"

Mahoney shrugged. "Following her. We're window dressing. She knows these two guys, Captain."

Gordon nodded. "We like them; they're good guys. But we don't know them."

"Did you find your car?"

"Yeah. They left it out at JFK."

"Did they fly out?"

"Apparently not."

"Any reports of vehicles stolen from the airport?"

"A couple. We're following those leads down."

Deakins ran his hand over his hair. "Goren's smart, guys. Really smart. He's not going to leave a trail that's easy to follow." He pressed his palm against his temple. "Please do not make me bring his wife into this."

"Why would you do that?"

"Because no one knows him better. She's always been able to follow that mind of his, and if anyone would know what he's thinking, she would."

"So why _don't_ you bring her in?"

"Because she's on maternity leave and I don't want to put her at any risk, if I don't have to."

Gordon nodded. "Oh, yeah...Logan mentioned something about Goren having a newborn...son, right?"

Deakins nodded. "He's ten days old." He sighed heavily. "You boys do your job so that little guy and his sister do not have to grow up without their dad."

He waved his hand dismissively and they went out into the squadroom to find Barek.


	21. Still Looking

Logan hated driving in the dark, but driving along the interstate wasn't so bad. He took another drink of coffee and glanced at Goren, who was sleeping in the passenger seat. Colorado...he hoped this was going to lead them someplace. He was more than ready to go home, see his partner and get back to life as usual. He didn't like all this espionage crap. Goren like figuring things out, solving impossible puzzles. He preferred good solid leads he could sink his teeth into, not ethereal hints that vaporized before his eyes. What really annoyed him was that he and Goren had found out more on their own after talking to Mason than the others had been able to figure out in weeks, and that made him wonder just how hard they were working to get this all taken care of.

Glancing at the gas tank, he got off at the next exit. It was 2 am, and he'd taken over for Goren just east of Dayton, Ohio. They were making really good time. On the road for sixteen hours, they were now in Missouri. Driving straight through, with breaks only for fuel, food and rest room stops, it would take about thirty hours for them to get to Denver. That would put them in the Mile High City at about dinnertime.

When the engine shifted as the car slowed down, Goren woke with a start. "Where are we?"

"Missouri. Maybe a hundred miles east of St. Louis. The car needs fuel and so do I."

"Want me to take over?"

"Nah. I've only been driving for four hours. I'm still good."

He pulled into a truck stop and stopped at an empty pump. "Look at this. You wouldn't think there'd be this many people here at 2 in the morning."

"The interstate never sleeps."

"Like the city, huh?"

He nodded and got out of the car to stretch. Logan nodded his head toward the building. "You hungry? Want coffee?"

Goren nodded. "Coffee, please."

"Sure you don't want a bite? You didn't eat much at dinner." Goren just shrugged. "A burger and fries, it is. I'll be right back."

Goren paced beside the car while he was gone. Logan returned quickly, tossing him a bag and handing him a styrofoam cup. He filled the gas tank and they got back in the car. "Think we'll make it to Denver before they figure out where we're going?"

Goren shrugged. "I guess it depends on who they bring in."

"You know Deakins will tag Barek for this. My big question is how long will he wait before he brings Eames in, too."

He pulled back onto the interstate. Goren shook his head. "I hope he won't. She doesn't need this kind of stress."

"Maybe we should have thought about that before we took off, brainiac. Barek doesn't know you as well as Eames does, and finding us is going to depend on knowing how that gray matter of yours operates. Nobody knows that as well as Eames does."

"I know."

"And you're not scared?"

"Of Eames? No. Of her getting involved in this? Yes."

"You think they'll change their minds and go after her?"

"I don't think so. But I don't want her involved regardless."

"Because if they are going to find us, she'll be the one to lead them to us?"

"That's only a small part of it, Mike."

Logan shrugged. "Well, it's out of our hands. You know that when Deakins goes to her she's going to be involved."

Goren sighed. "I know."

"And then it's just a matter of time before someone is hot on our asses."

He nodded. "I know. All the more reason to get this done and move on as fast as we can."

"Move on where?"

"Wherever the trail takes us."

Logan huffed impatiently. "Thanks for being so specific."

"Hey, if I knew where the trail was going we wouldn't be heading to Denver."

"Go back to sleep, Bobby. You're making my head hurt again."

------------------------------------

Deakins sat at his desk in the den after dinner, looking over the list Barek and Bishop had compiled. The DEA and FBI agents who had seen Mason were legit, however, he needed to talk to them to find out why they had never followed up on the leads they'd received. The NYPD detectives he'd seen were not NYPD. He had no idea who they were or why they had masqueraded as police officers to get in to see Mason. The CIA operatives who had been to see him he was having trouble locating. So far there was nothing to tell him if they were or were not CIA. He rubbed his forehead and shuffled the papers to find the list of people Mason said Waters had mentioned to him: Dennis Carlson, a DEA agent in Seattle; Carl Hammond, an FBI agent in Austin; Marcus Feldman, a DEA agent in Phoenix; Joseph Haughton, a CIA agent in Denver; Kevin Tammons, a CIA agent in LA; and Trevor McNally, an FBI agent in Miami. So far, all they had been able to find is that each man actually did exist and each had a clean record in his respective organization. What significance they had to Waters was unknown. He wondered if Barek had not asked the right questions. Mason had not volunteered any information to Barek, including what he had told Goren and Logan or what they had been looking for. Barek was under the impression he was enjoying the attention.

Deakins got up and left the study. Eames was in the living room playing with Maggie. She looked up at him. "You look tired. Is everything ok at work?"

"Difficult case, that's all. After you put Maggie to bed, can you look at something for me?"

"Sure."

Maggie bounced over to him. "Is it time for my story?"

"If you're ready. Go get your book."

She trotted across the room and returned with the book. Climbing into his lap, she snuggled against him as he opened it. "_I am Sam. Sam I am..._"

------------------------------------------

Eames knocked on the den door. "C'mon in."

She smiled at Deakins as she came in the door. He smiled back, though his smile was tired. "Is Maggie sleeping?"

"Yes."

"Asking for her daddy again?"

A deep sadness touched her eyes. "Yes. It's as predictable as _Green Eggs and Ham_."

He smiled, feeling profoundly guilty about keeping things from her. He held out the list of names that Mason had given Barek and, he assumed, Goren and Logan. "Look at this list, Alex. Tell me if you know, or know of, any of these men."

She took the list from him and looked it over. "No. I can't say that I do. Why?"

He sighed heavily. "Sit down."

She did, a look of concern darkening her features. "Something's wrong," she said. "Is it Bobby and Mike?"

Deakins nodded. "Yes."

She swallowed her fear. "What happened?"

"They...took off sometime last night."

"Took off? Took off where?"

"That we haven't been able to find out. They took the FBI agents' car and dumped it at JFK, but there's no record of them flying out."

"Then they didn't fly."

"There were several cars stolen from the airport, but so far no indication they took one of them."

She shook her head. "They wouldn't have stolen a car."

"Well, I doubt they walked..."

She pulled out her phone and dialed a number. "Hello?" came the voice on the other end.

"Hi, Lewis. This is Alex."

Lewis groaned. "Hi, Detective Alex."

She couldn't help but smile. He still insisted on calling her "Detective Alex," even though she was married to his best friend. It also didn't escape her that he had not greeted her with his usual bouyancy. "Lewis, have you seen Bobby?"

"Not lately," he answered, stretching the truth.

"This is important, Lewis. He and Mike are in trouble."

"What kind of trouble?"

"Big trouble. Trouble they might not be able to get themselves out of."

"Uh, where are they?"

"That's what we're trying to figure out. They've disappeared."

Lewis sighed, battling with himself to decide what was best for his friend...keeping his word or telling his wife that he'd seen him. "You _have_ seen him, haven't you, Lewis?" No answer. "Lewis?"

"Very early this morning. He borrowed a car."

"What kind of car?"

"An '02 Escape."

"What color?"

"Black."

"I need the plates."

"I'd have to look that up."

"Then do it."

"Detective Alex...I promised him..."

"I know. He'll understand."

"I _told_ him I couldn't lie to you."

"Just get me those plates, Lewis." She wrote down the information he gave her. "Thanks. I owe you."

"Gee, I've heard that before today."

"It's ok, really. I'll talk to you soon."

"Um, let me know he's ok?"

"As soon as I know he is. Bye, Lewis."

She handed the plate number to Deakins. "A black '02 Escape."

Deakins smiled. "Thank you."

"What else do you know?"

There was a subtle fury underlying her calm, and he wasn't quite sure exactly who that anger was directed toward. He decided he was better off not knowing. "They went to Rikers first thing this morning and talked to the only inmate Waters seemed to be friendly with. That's where that list of names came from. That's the last place we know they were at."

"Who's looking?"

"Barek is working with the two agents they slipped away from."

"Don't be too hard on the agents, Captain."

"I know. I apologize for not saying something sooner. I...well, you are on leave, and I didn't want to worry you."

"I am too angry to be worried right now, and I need to be angry. I'll worry later."

"If there's anything you can think of that will help us find them, Alex..."

She nodded. "I'll let you know. The first thing you have to do is find out exactly what that inmate told them. Then figure out who the men on this list were to Ricky. We'll go from there." She took a deep breath. "If Angie can watch the kids, I'll go out to Rikers with Barek tomorrow."

Deakins nodded. "But I am going to limit your involvement in this investigation, Alex. Understand?"

"As long as I get a piece of them after you find them, I'm fine with that."

Deakins nodded, glad--and not for the first time--that he was not Goren or Logan.


	22. The Plot Thickens

They pulled off the highway in Denver just after six o'clock. Pulling into the first gas station they came to, Goren pulled up to an available pump. "Fill up the tank, Mike. I'm going to call my friend and see if he can meet with us."

Logan rubbed his eyes and waved a hand at him as he got out of the car and stretched. He yawned, walked over to the pump and started pumping the gas. Goren finished with his call and went in to pay for the gas, returning with two cups of coffee. "He lives in one of the western suburbs. Let's go."

Goren pulled out of the lot and headed west, following the directions his friend had given him.

Forty-five minutes later, they pulled into the driveway of a nice suburban house. The front door opened and a man stepped out of the house, about Goren's age but a little stockier and six inches shorter. He came down the steps off the porch and approached them. "Bobby! Great to see you!" He gave Goren a hug. "You look great."

"So do you, Matt. This is my partner, Mike Logan. Mike, this is Matt Crosby."

He shook Mike's hand. "Nice to meet you, Logan. You guys want to come inside?"

"No, thanks. We really need to get back on the road."

"Ok, then, what is it I can help you with?"

"You work with Joe Haughton."

"Yeah. Weird son of a bitch."

"Do you know if he has any ties to New York?"

"He was working with an undercover there earlier this year...um, name was Waters."

Logan frowned. "An undercover what?"

"CIA agent."

Logan stared at him for a minute. "No fuckin' way!"

"Yeah. Then Waters got himself in trouble with another cop and was sent up to Rikers for trying to kill the guy. Got himself killed in the pen."

Goren ran his hand over his hair and turned away. "No..."

"What is it, Bobby?"

"Waters...h-he was married to my partner." Crosby raised his eyebrows and gave Logan a funny look. "No, not him...Mike's a temporary partner. Mine's on maternity leave. Matt, _I_ was the cop Waters tried to kill."

"No shit?"

"It's a long story and I don't have time to go into it right now."

"Your partner was the cop he married for his cover?"

Goren nodded as Logan said, "We nailed his best friend in a drug bust in Atlantic City."

"No way! That was you guys?"

Logan smiled but there was no amusement in his face. "Oh, you've heard of us...Don't tell us Bedford was an operative, too."

"Yeah, he was. Son of a bitch," Crosby began pacing and shaking his head. "This is bad, guys. This is real bad. You two are screwed."

Goren leaned against the car and looked up into the overcast night sky. "We figured that when we took off in New York."

"Took off...?" He waved his hands in the air. "Whoa...hold on here..." He paused with his eyes closed, then he looked at the two cops from New York. "Get in the car and wait for me."

He ran up the steps into his house and came back out a short while later with a gym bag, talking on the phone. Snapping it shut, he climbed in the back seat. "Let's go."

"Go where? And why are you coming with us?" Goren asked, looking at him with a puzzled frown.

"Back to I-25 south. We're going to Austin. And I am coming along so you two cowboys don't end up dead. Enough good cops have died because of this."

Logan turned around to look at him. "What's in Austin?"

"Hopefully, a man who can save your lives. Move it, Bobby. We are going to run out of time very quickly. I just talked to an FBI contact of mine. They are beginning to suspect you guys aren't in New York anymore."

As Goren backed out of the driveway and headed for the highway, Logan shook his head. "I see they're right on the ball."

"Don't underestimate them, Logan. We're racing the clock now. We've got to get to Austin before they find out where you two are. If they find us first, all three of us are dead men."

Goren glanced at him in the mirror, but didn't say anything. Logan frowned at the CIA agent. "Why are you putting your neck out for us like this?"

Crosby looked at Goren. "Just say I'm repaying an old debt and leave it at that."

Logan looked from one to the other and left it alone. When they had time, he would talk to Goren..._if_ they had time...

--------------------------------------------

Eames sat quietly at the kitchen table, looking into her coffee cup. Deakins came into the room and poured himself a cup, sitting across from her. She looked at him. "Any word?"

"Not a peep. We don't think they're in the city any more."

"I told you that yesterday."

"But you still have no idea where they've gone?"

"How would I? I know Bobby, but I can't read his mind. I've been trying to get a handle on this, and I just can't. All I can come up with is that they refused to be sitting ducks. If someone's after them, they are either going to give them a run for their money, or they are going to find the other guy first. But either way..." She paused to take a deep breath. "Either way, I don't see Bobby or Mike coming back home in one piece."

"Alex, I'm doing the best I can."

"You don't even know who's after them. How can you help them? He's not calling because he doesn't want to draw me into this; he doesn't want me to end up in trouble. Dammit, he's protecting me again. I...I just want to talk to him."

Deakins reached out and laid a hand over hers. "Alex, I promise you, I'm doing everything I can to make this right and get them home in one piece. If they hadn't taken off..."

"Do you blame them? Honestly?"

"So now you're sympathizing with them?"

"No. I'm trying to understand them. I'm still mad as hell at both of them, but I'm just as scared for them. And for me...I...I don't know what I would do without him, but even more...how can I tell Maggie her daddy isn't coming home? I...I don't know how to do that."

"Hopefully you won't have to. I have to go in to the office now. I'll call you if I find out anything. Come by after you're done with Mason, ok?"

She nodded. "I'll see you later."

He squeezed her hand, avoiding the urge to tell her not to worry. He wanted more than anything to get his two detectives out of danger, but he would not give her empty promises he might not be able to keep. Getting up, he set his coffee cup in the sink and left.

Not long after, Maggie came out into the kitchen and climbed up into her lap. She gently wiped the tears from her mother's face. "Mommy?"

She pulled Maggie close and held her. Maggie just snuggled as close to her as she could get. Eames knew she would always have a part of Bobby in her life through his children, but it wasn't the same as having him warm in the bed beside her, or making her laugh when she wanted to be mad, or just...being Bobby.

She kissed Maggie's head. "What do you want for breakfast, angel? Waffles?"

Maggie pouted a little. "No. Waffles with Daddy. I want corn flakes."

"Corn flakes it is then."

Maggie slid down and climbed up onto her booster seat as her mother fixed her a bowl of cereal and a cup of milk. She poured a fresh cup of coffee and sat down beside Maggie. "I have to go out for a little while, Maggie."

The little girl looked at her with worried eyes. "Like Daddy?"

"No, Maggie. Not like Daddy. I'll be back this afternoon."

"Will you bring Daddy home?"

"I wish I could, baby, but no."

"Uncle Mike then."

"I'm afraid Uncle Mike is with Daddy."

"I wanna be with Daddy, too!"

"So do I." She kissed her head as the doorbell rang and Emily came into the kitchen. "I'll see you this afternoon, Maggie."

"Ok, Mommy."

Eames looked at Emily who smiled at her. "Don't worry. We'll have fun with Maggie today."

She smiled gratefully at the Deakins' youngest daughter. "Tommy's in his bassinet in the living room and his formula is on the counter."

"Not a problem."

She grabbed her jacket and headed out the door. Barek was waiting on the porch, and she silently followed Eames to the car. As she backed the car out of the driveway, she asked, "Bad night?"

"Every night is a bad night, Carolyn. And my days are not much better."

"I'm sorry, Alex."

"Not half as sorry as they are going to be when we get their asses home."

Barek nodded in silent agreement as she turned out of the subdivision and headed toward Manhattan.


	23. Complications

Eames pulled her phone out of her pocket and flipped it open. "Eames."

She listened in silence, the color draining from her face. "You've _got_ to be kidding me. All right. We'll be there in a little while." She closed the phone and looked at Barek. "Head toward the squad. The captain just got word that Mason was found dead in his cell this morning. What the hell is going on here?"

Barek frowned. "That's three inmates...Waters, Bedford and now Mason. Who is getting in to kill these men? And why?"

"This has to be related to why Mike and Bobby took off. Do you think maybe they knew more than we know?"

"I'm certain they did. They weren't telling us much of anything about it."

"They were protecting us from what's happened to them. They _had_ to be protecting us."

"Ok, so who's going to protect _them_ when they get back?"

Eames couldn't help laughing. If she didn't laugh, dammit, she was going to cry.

-------------------------------------

Logan was driving, talking with Crosby, while Goren was sleeping in the back seat. He had taken over the wheel at the Colorado-New Mexico border. It was now after 4 am and they were somewhere between Amarillo and the Dallas-Fort Worth metroplex.

Logan looked in the rearview mirror. "Look at that. The only cars on the road and this ass has to tailgate me."

"Some people are like that," Crosby replied, glancing out the back window.

Logan laid on the accelerator, and so did the car behind him. He pulled onto the shoulder, but the car didn't pass him. Slamming on the brakes, the other car shot past him and he pulled back into the lane behind him. In the back seat, Goren swore. "What the hell are you doing, Logan?"

"Something's not right here."

Goren sat up. "What's up?"

The car in front of them pulled onto the shoulder like Logan had, and Logan slowed. They watched the other car slow down until Logan passed but then it pulled back onto the highway and fell back, remaining in the distance. Goren looked at Crosby. "What the hell is going on, Matt?"

"I have no idea."

"Who did you talk to last night?"

"An FBI contact of mine in Austin."

"What did you tell him?"

"All I did was ask for details about what's going on with you guys."

Goren grabbed his shirt. "I want the whole story, right now."

"Calm down. I swear, I really do just want to get you guys out of this."

"Start talking, Matt, or I'll toss your ass right out of this car."

"It all started with a joint FBI-CIA operation."

"Now there's a marriage made in Heaven," Logan smirked.

"No kidding. The FBI agent in charge of it is Carl Hammond. He's the guy we're going to see. It seems that everywhere he turned he was running into the two of you. Waters reported having trouble with you not long after he got everything in place and Hammond told him to keep an eye on you. When Waters got in trouble for trying to kill you, Hammond went nuts. He thinks you two are dirty and you figured out what Waters was doing. After you nailed Bedford, Hammond decided enough was enough and he put out the order to get you guys out of the picture."

"What was Waters up to?"

"Some kind of infiltration of a suspected terrorist cell operating in Central America. He used the drug cover to worm his way in, but he botched the whole thing when he got sent up for attempted murder. His jealousy got the better of him. That was never part of the plan."

Goren sat back and shook his head. "So why the hell did IAB bring me in?"

"IAB had no clue about the operation. You know how the FBI doesn't like to share unless they have to. So IAB was investigating the drugs totally independent of anything to do with the operation. They had no idea Waters was an agent. From what you guys told me, your original involvement in all this was incidental. Ironic that it remained incidental until Hammond put out that order." He looked over his shoulder. "Tell me, Bobby...what _was_ Waters' problem with you?"

"He didn't like me being partners with his wife."

"Why? There wasn't anything between you, was there?"

"No, not when he married her."

Crosby raised an eyebrow. "You mean that changed?"

Goren shrugged. "It's a long story, and I'm not getting into it now."

Logan kept glancing nervously at the rearview mirror, but the other car remained more than half a mile in the distance. He said, "They have always had a really close partnership. It's hard to explain."

"So Waters couldn't deal with you and your partner...and that screwed up this whole operation. No wonder Hammond was infuriated."

Logan looked confused. "But why'd Hammond let him go to jail? He could have gotten him off."

"Hammond was royally pissed at him for being stupid. Waters' jealousy was real, and Hammond told him more than once to get over it, that his wife was just a cover, but Waters couldn't do it. I don't know what was going through his head; maybe he really fell for her. But when the entire operation fell apart, Hammond got fed up with the whole thing. So he 'arranged' for Waters and Bedford to get killed. Hammond's a good agent but he's a hardass, and he doesn't take it well when his operations fall through, especially for stupid reasons.You guys fell into a real hornets' nest."

Goren's frown deepened. "How do you know so much?"

"I've heard bits and pieces from Haughton, but he never mentioned any names. I didn't know it was you, Bobby, until tonight when you told me. You gave me enough missing pieces to put the whole thing together."

Logan swore. "Here they come again, guys."

Crosby looked into the back seat. "I swear, Bobby. I really am trying to get you guys out of this. I believe that you were never involved and we _can_ convince Hammond."

Goren looked out the rear window and didn't answer right away. Finally turning to look at Crosby, he said, "So how'd they find us, Matt? Last night they thought we were in New York."

"Someone must have put the pieces together. You're not the only smart cop, you know."

The car came roaring up beside them in the westbound lane, but Logan already had the accelerator on the floor. He slammed on the brakes, fishtailing the Escape, but keeping it under control. The other car braked hard, and Logan went around him, accelerating hard. The car came up on him fast and clipped his rear bumper. He compensated, turning a hard left and skidding across the center line as he spun around. Wheels spinning, he caught the pavement and headed the opposite way. The other car caught up with them quickly, hitting their rear bumper at an angle and finally sending the Escape into a spin that became a tumble when they left the road. The car settled on its roof and everything was still.


	24. Remembering

She fluffed the pillow and set it in the corner of the couch as he made his way into the living room, with Maggie's help. She helped him ease down into it then handed him his pills. "Are you sure you're ok, Dad?"

John Eames smiled at his daughter as he pulled Maggie from the cushion beside him into his lap. "Yes, sweetheart. I'm fine."

"'Fine' may be stretching it a bit."

"Stop worrying. With you and Maggie taking care of me, I'll be turning handsprings in no time."

She laughed and he was glad to see it. He seldom saw amusement in his daughter these days. He was deeply worried about her, but even more, he worried about his son-in-law. There had still been no word from him or Logan, and John knew he would never worry Alex unnecessarily. His cop's instinct told him something was very wrong, and he knew Alex was thinking the same thing. Eighteen days had passed since she'd last seen him. The baby's one month birthday was coming up, and he hadn't seen his father in more than half that time.

He pulled Maggie closer. He had seldom seen a more devoted father, even before the man knew he was a father. He remembered...swallowing hard, he turned to Alex, but before he could speak, the doorbell rang. He watched Alex cross the room to answer it.

Barek was at the door. She held up a bag. "Am I too late for dinner? I brought Chinese."

Eames smiled. "Come on in. And thanks."

Maggie bounced from her grandfather's lap. "Aunt Carolyn!" She poked her nose in the bag. "Did you get me a egg roll?"

"Of course I did, Maggie."

"And the brown juice?"

"What would an egg roll be without the brown juice?"

Maggie followed her into the kitchen, Eames following with a small smile. "Hungry, Dad?"

"Starving," he replied with a grin.

She rested a hand on his shoulder as she passed him. He touched her hand lightly, and she swallowed down the tears that often threatened. Between her post-partum hormone fluctuations and her missing husband, she was certain she was going to lose it entirely one of these days.

Eames and Barek returned to the living room, each carrying two plates. Sitting on the floor at the coffee table, Eames handed her father his plate while Barek set Maggie's between them.

Watching his daughter and his granddaughter, John smiled. "You know, Alex..."

"What, Dad?"

"I was just remembering something." Eames turned to look at him, catching the fond smile on his face. "Do you remember how Bobby used to play airplane with Maggie when she was very small?"

"Yes. He still plays it with her."

"I know, butdo you remember when he made the mistake of being a little too... rambunctious that one time, too soon after she'd eaten?"

She started laughing. Barek looked confused. "Did I miss something?"

"Did you! Maggie's stomach didn't appreciate being jostled around so much...right in his face..."

Barek laughed with her. John was pleased to see Alex laughing. "To his credit, he didn't react much...and he never stopped playing airplane."

"He just never did it so soon after she ate again. She was only about six months old." She gently stroked her daughter's curls. "You know Bobby. Nothing she ever did put him off. And she was always...just _his_. More than once I called him in the middle of the night, out of pure desperation, because I just couldn't get her to settle down, no matter what I did. He never hesitated, never complained...he always came right over...all the way out here. She'd be so worked up she was screaming. And he'd take her from me and start talking to her, asking her what all the fuss was about. As soon as she realized it was him, she would settle down and look up at him. And the little fart would smile. It was like he was the one she wanted all along and she got her way. He'd talk to her and make her giggle, then he'd lay down on the couch and she'd put her hand in his hair and go right to sleep. The little stinker..."

John smiled fondly. "I don't know how many mornings I came out and found him sleeping on the couch with her sound asleep on his chest." He laughed softly. "He was her favorite bed."

She leaned down to kiss Maggie's head. "He still is."

Maggie looked up at her, soy sauce dripping from her chin. "Are you talkin' 'bout Daddy?"

"Yes, honey."

Barek asked, "What would he do if you were at your house?"

"If Ricky wasn't home, he'd come over, but he'd leave shortly after getting Maggie to sleep. He never wanted to cause any grief for me. He would even take a quick shower before coming over so he wouldn't have any cologne on. I only let him do that a few times. After that I'd just have him meet me here, so he could stay and go back to sleep without driving all the way home."

John smiled again. "He usually didn't drive home, Alex. He came here. He was always welcome."

"Really? He never told me."

"Why would he?"

"What if Ricky was home?" Barek asked.

"I would just take her and tell him I was coming here to Dad's. He was usually so annoyed that she woke him up I don't think he would have objected if I told him I was going to Bobby's. He just wanted her to shut up. Bobby would meet me here."

"He never said no?"

"Only once. He came down with the flu, and he didn't want to make her sick. That was one long night. She cried all night long. We both called in sick that day."

Barek laughed. "I remember that. Mike was full of theories about what was going on with you two."

Eames laughed. "Nothing fun, for sure. I was sleeping and he was miserable. I went to his apartment that night, to make sure he had something to eat. He was really sick."

"So you took care of him. You guys have always taken care of one another."

"It was part of our partnership. He always said, 'That's what partners do.'" She closed her eyes. When she opened them, they were bright with tears. "What do you think has happened to them?"

Barek pushed her fried rice around her plate with her chopsticks, then she watched Maggie unwrap a new pair of chopsticks and use them to beat out a disjointed rhythm on the table top. "I'm afraid to speculate, because I would never have thought they would go this long without calling. They would have found a way to let us know they were ok, somehow."

"I know what he's going to say. He was protecting us. I am so tired of being protected!"

Maggie popped to her feet. "Can I have anudder egg roll?"

"Sure, baby," Barek answered, getting up to get it for her.

"Mommy?"

"Yes, Maggie?"

"Are you mad at Daddy?"

Eames sighed. How to answer this one? "No, honey. I'm just worried about him. I want him to come home."

"Me, too. Are you sure he likes my baby?"

She was beginning to associate the arrival of the baby with the departure of her father, and that worried Eames. "Yes, Maggie. I'm sure he loves your baby as much as he loves you."

"Is Daddy at work?"

She was very careful to avoid telling her that Daddy was at work. She'd never let him go to work again if she thought he'd disappear every time he did. "No, Maggie. He's not. I don't know for sure where he and Uncle Mike are. You can ask him about it when he comes home."

Maggie pouted. "Ok, Mommy. I will."

Eames smiled sadly at her father. "Somebody is going to be in a world of trouble with the women in his life when he gets back."

John returned her smile. "I think it's safe to say they both will."

Barek placed an egg roll on Maggie's plate. "You can bet on that."

Across the room, the baby began fussing in his bassinet. "I'll get him," Barek offered. She enjoyed holding the little boy. He was a quiet little guy, fussing only when he was hungry or uncomfortable. She changed his diaper and picked him up. He gurgled a little, then began searching for something to eat. She brought him to his mother, who settled on the opposite end of the couch from her father. Barek handed her a receiving blanket and turned her attention back to Maggie as Tom ate his dinner.

Finishing her second egg roll, Maggie carried her plate into the kitchen and set it on the table. Two broken plates had taught her not to try reaching the sink until she was bigger. She skipped across the living room to her bookcase and pulled out her _Green Eggs and Ham_ book. Opening it, she pulled out a picture, which she brought to Barek. "See what Mommy gived me?"

Barek took the picture and smiled, tears welling in her eyes. It was a picture of a smiling Bobby...and she remembered when and where it had been taken. Logan had a thing about creeping up on people with his camera, and he got some fantastic candids when he did. This was one of them, one she knew was among Alex's favorites. The four of them had spent the day in Battery Park, relaxing with a picnic lunch and a couple of cases of beer. Playing ball, Eames had tried to tackle her partner when he didn't want to be tackled. Barek touched her fingers to the photo, remembering that Alex had indeed gotten him down. Later that day, after the sun had set, they'd walked along the harbor path. She had watched as Alex slipped her hand into her partner's, interlacing her fingers with his. And Logan had slipped his arm about her shoulders. Comfortable, friendly, affectionate...God, she missed them! She sighed. "That's a great picture of your daddy, Maggie."

The little girl climbed onto the couch with the picture and, hugging it, cuddled into her grandfather's arms. John kissed her head and, as he frequently did lately, whispered another prayer that her daddy would come home soon.


	25. Reunion in Texas

Time continued to pass very slowly. The more time that passed without any word, the more convinced Eames became that she was going to have to break her daughter's heart. And she had no idea how to do that. During the day, she was ok, taking care of her dad and playing with her children, but at night she was utterly alone. Even when Maggie crawled into her bed during the night, suffering from nightmares and wanting her daddy, she was alone. Sometimes she would wander around the house, almost able to pretend he was simply unable to sleep and he didn't want to keep her up. But as more time passed, she became less and less able to pretend. It was beginning to look like Bobby was never coming home.

Whenever she tucked her sleeping baby into his crib, she would stand there for a long time, watching him sleep. He had his father's features but, unlike his father, his sleep was peaceful. Tom had no demons to disturb his slumber. And it broke her heart to watch Maggie sleep, clutching that picture of her father and taking comfort from the fact that Uncle Mike had taken it just for her. She didn't understand that it had been taken before she was born, and it didn't matter. It kept her connected to her two best guys. As for her...she drifted off to sleep every night looking at the picture on the nightstand beside her bed--a picture of Bobby, Maggie and her. Another Logan candid, it had been taken on the back deck at her dad's. He was straddling the picnic table bench with Maggie facing him and her behind him, kneeling and watching Maggie over his shoulder with her hands resting on his back. Maggie was about two, looking at him with a huge smile and adoring eyes. Most of all, she treasured the rare look of utter contentment on his smiling face. All she knew was life didn't get much better than that...and it didn't get much worse than this.

-----------------------------------------------

He groaned and forced himself to take a deep breath. Coughing, he bit back another groan of pain. His eyelids fluttered but he couldn't open them; they were still too heavy. He shifted his hips and coughed again, this time unable to stifle the groan. Tossing his head from side to side, he fought the encroaching darkness. "Alex..." he whispered. "I-I'm sorry..."

He felt something cool against his face, caressing...that felt good...and he had to fight harder not to succumb to the darkness that beckoned to him. With great difficulty, he forced his eyes open and struggled to focus on the person standing at his bedside. So familiar... "Alex?" he coughed again, fighting to keep the darkness from overwhelming him.

"Hey, you," she said softly. She gently brushed his hair back from his forehead. "Take it easy."

"Oh, God...Alex...I am _so_ sorry..." She wiped the tears from his face, ignoring the ones trailing down her own cheeks. "I...you must have...worried..."

She leaned down and pressed her lips tightly to his. His hand caressed her moist cheek, sliding down her neck to her shoulder where he traced her collarbone. She pulled back a little. "You stupid ass," she whispered through her tears. "I love you so damn much."

"I...love you, too..." He shifted again, looking for a position that didn't hurt quite so much but focusing on the pain to stay awake, to stay with her. "Uh, but...I'm gonna...really get it, huh?"

"As soon as you're well enough to get out of this damn bed."

He nodded, trying to moisten his lips. "That's fair." He slowly took a few deep breaths, still focusing on the pain. "M-maggie?"

"She has been so lost. She really doesn't know what to do without you. Bobby, you have no idea how hard this has been. I was..." She choked down more tears. "I was trying to figure out... how to..." She swallowed another lump. "How to tell Maggie her daddy was never coming home. It would have...destroyed her world, Bobby." Her voice was starting to break, which annoyed her. "Like it destroyed mine."

"I...I...am sorry..."

He averted his eyes. She touched his cheek, letting her fingers caress his skin, coaxing him to look back at her. "Goren, you are in so much trouble with me...and all I can think to do is hug you and never let you go." She knew he would be much harder on himself than she would ever be on him.

"I'm all...all for that..." he said with a weak smile. "Um, Tom?"

"He's fine. Growing like a weed and eating like a pig."

He smiled and nodded, placing his hand over hers and closing his fingers around it. The effort to speak and hold his emotions in check was taking its toll, and his eyes slid closed. She just stood beside his bed--where she'd been since arriving in Dallas last night--held his hand, and watched him sleep. Resting her head against his shoulder, overwhelmed by relief, anger and worry, she cried.

-----------------------------------------

Logan looked up from his breakfast and stopped eating. He grinned sheepishly at the woman who stood in the doorway of his hospital room, frowning with her arms folded across her chest. "Hi, partner."

She shook her head and walked to his bedside. Pushing the tray table out of the way, she wrapped her arms around him and held him tight. Stepping back, she asked, "How're you feeling?"

"Pretty good."

"You're head's ok?"

He nodded. "Yeah."

She slapped the back of his head. "You idiot."

"Ow! Hey, have some respect for the recently injured."

"I can't _believe_ the two of you."

"Yeah, well...we weren't about to just sit on our asses waiting to get shot, Barek. Um, how is Bobby?"

"Still in a coma. Alex is down there with him."

"I guess she's not really happy with us, either, is she?"

"Neither of us is happy, Mike. And you know what?"

"What?"

"There's a little girl back in New York that neither of you stopped to give any thought to..."

"Now wait just one damn minute there...Do not tell us we weren't thinking of Maggie. Maybe what we did wasn't the brightest move, in hindsight, but at the time it made more sense to take the offensive and move toward the threat than to wait for it to come and find us. We hadn't planned on flipping the car. I really am _not_ trying to kill Bobby."

"Deakins said the accident happened early the morning of the 29th."

"Yeah."

"Who was driving?"

"I was."

"Fall asleep at the wheel?"

"What? No! We were forced off the road by another car."

"Why?"

"Because Goren's not the only smart cop in the country. Somebody was able to piece together what we were doing, and they found us."

"_Who_ found you, Mike?"

"Crosby said they were FBI."

"Crosby?"

"Bobby's friend from Denver. We were heading for Austin to talk to an agent named Hammond."

She sighed. "Well, for the time being, you are both in federal custody and Deakins is busting his ass to straighten the whole thing out."

"None of this would have happened if the damn feds weren't so secretive."

She sat down. "Ok, Logan, explain."

He sighed, any appetite for breakfast now gone, and laid it all out for his partner. When he finished his explanation, she just stared at him. Defensively, he said, "What? I'm not making this shit up, Barek. Really. I don't have that kind of imagination."

"Waters was CIA? For real?"

"Yep."

She rubbed her forehead. "Your story explains a lot. Where's this Crosby guy?"

"I don't know. He was in the car with us."

"Ok, I'll convey this to Deakins, unless you want to talk to him..."

"Oh, no, that's quite all right. I can wait for _that_ conversation."

"How _are_ you feeling, Mike?"

"Sore. But I'm ok. Uh, is Maggie ok?"

"She's fine...just really lonely. For some reason she misses the two of you, a lot."

"And the little guy?"

"He's great. I wish _you_ were that good." She smiled and tapped her hand on his cheek, leaning forward to give him a quick kiss. "I'm going to go and call the captain. I'll be back."

"Would you check on Bobby for me?"

"Sure. Finish your breakfast."

She left the room as he pulled the tray table closer, but he wasn't hungry any more.


	26. The Wrong Thing to Say

Eames jerked awake at a change in the beeping of his monitors. A nurse came into the room, smiling at her as she pressed a button on one of the machines beside his bed. "He's fine," she said softly in answer to her worried look. She adjusted one of his IV lines, gave him some medicine, and reset the machine. "He's resting peacefully. They'll be down to move him upstairs in about an hour. He's fine."

"Thank you."

She studied his face. Occasionally, he would groan softly, frowning as pain flared somewhere in his body. Gently, she stroked his arm and she saw some of his tension fade. Responding to her touch, he forced himself back to consciousness. "Alex?"

"I'm right here," she answered, sliding her hand into his.

He closed his hand around hers as he forced his mind to get a grip on why he was where he was. "Logan...Where is he?"

"He was moved upstairs to a regular hospital room earlier this week. You both had comparable injuries, but you were still weakened from getting shot back before Christmas, so you've had a harder time of it. But they are ready to move you upstairs, since you woke up, and you and Mike will be roomies."

He just nodded, relieved that Logan was okay. But there was something else he wanted to ask...about someone else. He closed his eyes to think, tightening his grip reassuringly on her hand. She'd _always_ grounded him...

"Is he ok?" came a quiet voice from the doorway.

She turned her head, frowning at the man who stood in the doorway, his arm in a cast and a white bandage taped to the right side of his forehead. He smiled warmly. "You are Detective Eames?"

"Yes. And you are?"

"Matt Crosby, CIA."

"Coming by to make sure he's still in custody?" she snapped angrily.

"No. I had nothing to do with that."

Goren opened his eyes, hearing the anger in her voice. "Alex? What's wrong?"

She turned to him. "Nothing. I've got it under control."

Crosby stepped into the cubicle. "Hey, Bobby."

Goren smiled weakly, his memory jarred by his friend's appearance. "Hi, Matt."

He gently tightened his grip on her hand. "Alex, Matt isn't...one of the bad guys. He's one of the buddies you love to meet."

She looked at him, confused. "One of your buddies? A CIA agent?"

"He wasn't CIA when I first knew him." Releasing her hand, he shifted in the bed, pushing himself up further onto the pillow. He coughed, tensing as pain coursed through his body, but so far the medicine made it manageable. He tried to swallow, but his mouth was dry. He waved a hand at Crosby. "Tell her."

Crosby said quietly, "Bobby and I served in Germany together. He and Mike showed up at my home in Denver a couple of days after Christmas, looking for some information about one of my co-workers. I found out they'd gotten themselves into some serious trouble with the FBI and the CIA, and I was going with them to Austin to see if we couldn't get this all straightened out." He looked at Goren. "Hammond was pissed about me being with you guys."

Eames looked at her partner. "You drove all the way to Denver? What? You didn't have his number?"

He shook his head, closing his eyes when the room started to spin. Swallowing again, he looked at her, then at Crosby. "I wanted to keep you from getting involved."

"Forget it. You needed me. I'm the reason they didn't shoot you guys by the side of the highway and leave you there."

"Um...how long has it been?'

"Since the accident?" He counted silently to himself. "Just over three weeks."

"Three _weeks_? Alex? How...how long have you...been here?"

"Since last night." She looked at Crosby. "Were you the one who called Captain Deakins?"

He nodded. "I wasn't hurt quite as badly as Bobby and Mike were. I was released late last week. I knew Bobby worked for the NYPD and it didn't take long to find out it was Deakins I had to talk to, but it took some time for me to get the ok from Hammond to call at all."

Goren was frowning, watching Eames, his face filled with pain that was not physical. "I...I am so s-sorry, Alex. Oh, God..." He looked toward the ceiling. Softly, he whispered, "Maggie..."

Eames rested her hands on his arm. "She's ok, Bobby."

Crosby frowned. "Who's Maggie?"

Eames turned her head to look at him. "Our daughter."

"Your...as in...the two of you? Together?"

"That's how it usually is," Goren snapped.

"How old is she?"

"Three."

"Three?" He looked at Eames. "But you would have been married to Waters at the time..."

"I told you..." Goren retorted, getting agitated now. "It's a long story. And now...now she's married to me."

Crosby looked surprised. "Did you instigate Waters?"

He shook his head slowly. "No. Never. I did everything to avoid...instigating him."

A nurse appeared in the doorway. "Excuse me? Is everything ok in here?"

Goren nodded. "Fine."

"Not according to our monitors, it's not."

Eames said, "I'm sorry. We'll stop talking for now."

She nodded. "At least wait until he goes upstairs, please."

Eames turned to him. "I want you to settle down, right now."

"Alex..."

She placed her fingers over his lips. "Shhh. That's enough."

He nodded. "I'm settled."

Crosby watched, amused. "I think I'm getting a clue here."

Goren looked at him. "I doubt it," he said with a small grin.

Eames laid a hand on his shoulder and looked at Crosby. "What does Ricky have to do with any of this?"

"Alex...let me explain..."

"Calm down, Bobby."

He was getting agitated again. "I have to..."

She leaned closer to him. "Do you have to be sedated?" He shook his head. "Ok, then. Relax."

"I...I need to tell you what happened." He knew she was going to be upset, and he needed to be the one to break it to her, that Waters wasn't the rat they all thought he was...not entirely.

He looked at Crosby, who raised his hands. "That's fine with me."

Eames crossed her arms over her chest. The nurse returned to the cubicle. "They're about ready to transfer you," she said to Goren. "But I can't let you go with your vitals where they are now. So unless you calm down, you are staying here for the night."

"I'm fine," he repeated.

"Prove it," the nurse challenged. "You have fifteen minutes."

Eames looked at him. "Do you want us to leave?"

"No."

Crosby leaned toward him over the foot of the bed. "Look, I'm going to beat it for a while. I'll find you upstairs."

Goren pointed a finger at him. "Not a word."

"Promise, buddy."

He left the cubicle. Eames turned to her husband. "You don't want to tell me."

"No. I do. I don't...want anyone _else_...to tell you."

"That bad, huh?"

"Yeah."

"I was joking, Bobby."

"I'm not."

She frowned. "Well, look...it's not worth a night in the ICU. Calm down."

"I am calm."

She slipped her hand into his, gently stroking the back of his hand. He took a deep breath, groaning softly. They needed to change the subject. Quietly, he said, "So...is Tommy crawling yet?"

She laughed. "Not yet. But Maggie is getting annoyed because he is not ready to play. I keep finding her toys in his crib."

He smiled, but she saw a sadness in his eyes. She fingered the hair at his temple, and he sighed. "Shhhh," she said softly, watching him battle to stay awake as he actually did settle down.

The nurse came back shortly after he drifted off. She smiled at Eames. "That's much better."

Eames smiled back. "Are you ready to transfer him?"

"Yes. I just have to give him some more medicine."

"For what?"

"Pain. Moving can be hard after serious injuries." She pulled a syringe and an alcohol prep pad from her pocket, then she looked at Eames. "We're glad you finally showed up. The doctors believe you were part of the reason he came out of his coma. We couldn't explain why he wouldn't wake up, and we don't like things we can't explain."

She reflected to herself how much he hated the same thing, but all she said was "He has a tendency to retreat from his pain." That was the honest truth. Physical or emotional, Bobby always retreated from his pain.

She looked down at him as the nurse injected the medicine into his IV line. She was torn between being angry with him and feeling sorry for him, and she really didn't know how to feel. She wanted to be angry, but his genuine grief at the distress he had caused his family made that hard, and so did her profound relief that he was going to be ok. Leaning down, she gently kissed him and waited for them to move him upstairs. She would decide about that later...when he was strong enough to handle her anger without her feeling guilty about it.

--------------------------------------------

When Goren woke again, he was no longer in the glass cubicle of the intensive care unit. He looked around the room, eyes falling on Logan in the next bed, laying on his side, head propped up on his hand. "Hey, sleeping beauty. Welcome back. How are you feeling?"

"Like a train wreck. You?"

"Not so bad any more. You gotta be hurting, but I'm glad you're finally awake. I was worried about you." He grinned. "They put us together so it'll be easier to keep an eye on us. It only takes half the number of agents to watch one room. Of course, they doubled the usual number because we took off on the last two."

"Are we...under arrest?"

"I haven't been read my rights and I've never heard the words 'under arrest.' Just 'in Federal custody.' Whatever the hell that means. So I really don't know for sure."

"Matt's working on it...?"

"Yeah. So's Deakins. Matt just got back from Austin and Deakins is there now. Apparently we're celebrities with the office down there...and I don't think that's a good thing."

"Is Barek, um, mad?"

"You could say that. Alex is pretty pissed, too. You're lucky."

"Lucky I almost cashed it in?"

"But you didn't, so yeah. You're also still recovering from some serious injuries. First thing I got was a slap upside the head. You still have that to look forward to."

Goren shook his head. "No. Alex won't do that. She does have a helluva right hook, though. But she won't hit me...though I'd rather she would and get it over with than stay mad at me."

"I haven't decided which I prefer. But one thing Barek said did upset me."

"What?"

"She said neither of us gave any thought to Maggie when we took off."

"What?" He looked troubled. "Is that what they think?"

"Face it, Bobby. This is not our brightest moment."

"But...I...we did this so we _could_ go home! I..."

"Calm down, man. They come in here seeing you all upset and I'm gonna get slapped again."

Goren pressed his head back into the pillow. "Does Alex think that?"

"I don't know."

"Where is she?"

"She'll be right back. She and Barek went to get some coffee."

"I...I need to talk to her...about a lot of things, apparently."

"Well, she wouldn't let us say anything about Ricky because you got so upset about it."

"Barek knows?"

"Yeah. I..."

The door to the room opened and their partners came in. They stopped and looked from one to the other. "Behaving?" Barek asked.

"No," Logan retorted. "We're planning another escape."

"I'll shoot you first," she replied.

"Are you part of the custody detail?"

"Actually, yes, now that we know no one is gunning for you any more."

"Shit."

"Exactly."

Eames walked over to Goren's bed. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Better than I was, yeah."

"Can we talk without you setting off any alarms?"

"I guess that depends."

"On what?"

"On you. This isn't going to be easy for you to hear."

She hopped up onto the side of the bed and faced him. "Then let's get it over with."

He rubbed his face with both hands. "Apparently, Waters wasn't all he appeared to be."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean...he wasn't a dirty cop, Alex. We were wrong."

"Wrong? What do you mean? How were we wrong?"

He ran his hand over his hair and rubbed the back of his neck, a gesture she knew very well. "The drug running, the evidence tampering...it was all a cover. He..." His voice got very gentle and he rested his hand on her leg, fighting to keep his own emotions well in check. "He...was an undercover CIA agent."

She stared at him, then looked at Logan, who nodded. She looked back at Goren. "We...we sent an undercover agent to prison, to get killed...?"

"Not 'we,' Alex. Me."

"His marriage to me?"

Goren looked away. He couldn't say it, so Logan did. "That was part of his cover. I guess that's why he got pissed when you got pregnant. It complicated his cover."

Goren didn't look at her. "I-I am sorry, Alex."

She turned to him, eyes blazing. What the hell could he be apologizing for? This entire ordeal had been incredibly hard for him, more than it had for anyone else. "Sorry? What the hell for? _You_ didn't do anything wrong. So what are you apologizing for?"

He looked at her and decided it best not to answer. He just shook his head. "Nothing."

She lost her temper entirely. "Tell me! Are you apologizing for marrying me? Or is it Maggie you're sorry about?"

As soon as she said it, she knew it was the wrong thing to say, and she immediately regretted it. She looked at Logan, who made no attempt to hide his surprise. Barek looked away so she could not see her reaction. Looking back at Goren, she said, "Bobby..."

He shook his head slowly and raised a hand to silence her. "Don't. I...I can't believe you even said that. I...just leave me alone, Eames."

He rolled onto his side away from her. She touched his arm. "Bobby..."

"Fuck off," he snapped, pulling his arm away.

She looked at Logan, but he had the sense to look away. She slid off the bed and moved to the window, looking out over the unfamiliar city. Furious and hurt, Goren stared at the wall, unable to calm down. When he heard her turn from the window, he didn't move. Quietly, she said, "What else don't I know?"

He didn't move, even though he could feel their eyes on him. "Bobby..." Logan began. "Do you want to..."

"No, Logan. I don't. You tell her."

"But you..."

He turned over quickly...too quickly. He felt a snap in his chest, then blinding pain...then nothing.


	27. The Right Thing to Do

When he returned to consciousness, his chest was burning accompanied by an underlying dull ache. He looked around the room. "Mike?"

Logan turned to look at him. "You ok, man?"

"I think so. What happened?"

"You told your wife to fuck off, that's what happened."

"That isn't what I meant. How the hell did I get hurt turning over in the damn bed?"

"I don't know how you did it, but you snapped a rib loose when you twisted around like you did. They called it an incomplete fracture but it's not incomplete any more. They said you... 'exacerbated a previous recent injury'. Whatever it is, it's not displaced, whatever the hell that means. "

"It means it's still in place so they don't need to put in a metal plate to keep it there."

"Sounds pleasant. Let's not do that again. That was a really sickening sound."

"It didn't feel too great, either."

"Well, if your intent was to scare the shit out of your wife for what she said, it worked like gangbusters."

He eased the head of the bed up and carefully pushed himself up on the pillow. "It wasn't."

"I've never seen you that mad at her. Not that I blame you...what she said was cold. But she didn't mean it, Bobby."

"I know. Do you understand what I meant now by her staying mad at me? I'd rather she just give me a black eye and get it over with."

"Yeah, I understand."

"Where is she?"

"She and Barek left to get some dinner. Carolyn convinced her she needed to get some fresh air."

"Is she...ok?"

"Yeah. Once the doctor got in here and let her know you were ok, she settled down. I've never seen Eames panic before."

Goren rested his head back, closing his eyes. How did everything get so badly screwed up? "Hey, Bobby..." Logan started.

He turned his head. "What?"

"What _were_ you apologizing for?"

"Nothing specific. I...she was upset. I, uh, I always apologize when she's upset."

Logan laughed. "Why?"

"I just feel bad when she's upset. What else did you tell her?"

"I told her what we know, that's all. She was reeling from it all, but she seemed to feel a little better when I told her it was his own damn fault he got sent up and that it was the CIA that put out the order to whack him."

"Are you sure she's ok?"

"Carolyn will take care of her."

"I didn't ask you that."

"Hey, don't get mad at me. I wasn't the one who told her to..."

"Enough, Logan. I _know_ what I told her. What did she say?"

"I didn't catch it all. Something about you taking the fall for her mistakes."

"What? None of this was her fault. She got...caught up in circumstances. We both did."

"She's as stubborn about shouldering the blame for this as you are."

"It was _my_ fault Waters got killed."

"How's that? He set his own fate in motion by constantly harassing you."

"I _let_ him harass me to take the heat off her. That was in no way her fault. It was my doing, _my_ choice."

Logan said quietly, "Bobby, everything you did was for her, and she realizes that. She really felt bad about what she said."

His expression changed but Logan, as well as he knew him, was unable to interpret it, beyond recognizing that he was shutting down and closing himself off. Normally, he wouldn't let him get away with it, but this wasn't his argument. He was there if Goren wanted to talk, as always, but he wasn't going to push it if he didn't.

Goren turned onto his side, groaning softly. He closed his eyes, ending the conversation. Logan sighed and folded his arms under his head, looking at the ceiling. A short while later, their dinners were brought in. But Goren was sleeping and, for a change, Logan didn't feel like eating. So he just waited quietly for something to change, worrying about what it would be.

---------------------------------

The door opened slowly, spilling a ray of light from the hall into the darkened room. "Do you think they're sleeping?" Barek asked quietly.

"I hope so," Eames replied.

"No such luck," Logan whispered.

"Why are you sitting here in the dark?" Barek asked him.

"Because if I turn the light on I might wake Goren."

"Like all the whispering won't," Goren grumbled. "Turn the damn light on, Logan, before somebody trips and gets hurt."

Logan reached toward the wall and turned on the light over his bed. Barek walked to his bedside and set a small styrofoam container on the tray table, frowning at his untouched dinner. "Why didn't you eat?"

He glanced at Goren, who had carefully pushed himself up in the bed. "I just wasn't hungry."

Eames noticed that Goren's tray also remained untouched. She wasn't sure about what to do or what to say, so she chose a safe subject. "You need to eat," she said softly.

He had not taken his eyes from her. She remained near the door, standing under the television on Logan's side of the room. "Alex..."

She just shook her head, folding her arms across her abdomen and averting her eyes. He finally looked away, toward the ceiling. Barek and Logan looked at each other, both of them decidedly uncomfortable. Logan took the cover off his plate and looked at the food with a frown. "I need to get the hell out of here," he grumbled, poking at what looked like meat on the plate.

"Dream on, cowboy. You're not going anywhere."

He looked up at her, glancing at Goren and then at Eames. "I just want to go home, where I can at least identify the food as edible, even if I make it myself," he said. He pushed the tray away and turned onto his side.

Barek laid a hand on his arm and watched the other two detectives try to ignore each other. "Alex," she hissed, nodding her head toward Goren.

Eames took a deep breath and moved closer to his bed. She took the cover off his dinner. "Hey, broth...and jello. Gourmet dinner."

"Help yourself," he grumbled.

She stepped past the tray and reached out a hand toward him, hesitating. She started to withdraw her hand, but then gave it a second thought and continued moving closer. Her fingers touched his arm. She felt him tense, but he didn't pull away or object.

He tentatively moved his hand toward hers, covering it, but still he did not look at her. Quietly, he mumbled, "I was rude. I-I'm sorry. I should n-never have said that to you."

She shrugged, bringing her other hand up to touch his temple. "I was way out of line," she responded. "I was...angry...and I wanted to lash out. So I did."

"How could you question how I feel...about any of you? If you can't tell...I've gotta be doing something wrong. You wanted to hurt me? Well, you did. I hope it made you feel better."

"It didn't, okay? As for hurting you, I picked that up from you. Words are your weapon and you taught me how to use them effectively."

A tear rolled down his cheek, unchecked. "Dammit, Eames. You _have_ to know...You _have_ to...I... Shit, no one in the world means more to me...than Maggie..."

"I know that..."

He reached toward her, placing his fingers under her chin so he could turn her face toward his. "No one...except you."

He wiped away the tears from her cheek and shook his head. "Don't cry..."

Gently he pulled her into his arms and held her, kissing her head as she quietly sobbed. He looked over at Logan and Barek, at a loss over what to do, as he was any time he reduced his scrappy, little wife to tears. "I didn't mean to make you cry," he said miserably. "I never do."

She pulled back from his arms and smacked him. "I don't know what the hell to do with you," she said, wiping at her eyes. "I _want_ to be mad at you, dammit, but I can't! I can't even make myself be mad anymore. And that pisses me off. Bobby..." She threw up her hands in surrender. "Do you know how hard it was getting for me to tell Maggie you two clowns would be home soon, not knowing where the hell you even were...or if you were ever going to come home again? She cried herself to sleep at night, and so did I! You _know_ how I hate feeling helpless...but that's exactly how I've been feeling...helpless and so utterly alone. I've already buried one cop husband and divorced and then buried another. I won't survive if I lose you, too, you son of a bitch!"

She hit him again, and he made no move to stop her. He tilted his head to catch her eyes. "You do a pretty good impression of someone who's mad," he told her.

She shook her head, and she couldn't help laughing. "You ass."

Sliding her arms around him, she buried her face in his neck. He held her tight, kissing her temple and lightly stroking her head. Pulling back, she looked at him. "Are you ok?"

"I'll be fine."

She gently rubbed his cheek, letting herself get lost in his eyes...drawing closer, until she was in his arms, kissing him, letting him know for certain how much she'd missed him and how desperately she'd wanted him home, where he belonged, in her arms...

Barek slapped her partner on the back of the head. "Quit staring," she whispered.

He grinned at her. "Hey, I earned the right to stare." He picked up the styrofoam container she'd left on his tray. "What'd you bring me?"

She smiled at him. "Cherry pie."

Picking up his fork, he gave her a broad smile. "I love you."

She laughed and gave him a soft kiss. "I know you do." Taking the fork from his hand, she took a bite of pie. "I love you, too, you idiot."


	28. Deakins' Surprise

Carl Hammond stared at his hands. He was a stocky man, best described as square, and his blocky crewcut did nothing to soften that image. Raising his eyes, he looked at the man sitting in front of him and leaned back in his chair. "Waters did a lot of things wrong, and he was killed because of it. First and foremost, he let himself get emotionally involved with his cover."

Deakins was still furious about that. "I do not appreciate that he used my detective for a cover at all. She deserves better than that."

"Maybe so, but it was my understanding that he did not take her to the altar at gunpoint."

"No, but he deceived her. And then he failed to treat her right, but he was insanely jealous of the man closest to her who did treat her right."

Hammond nodded. "The jealousy was a huge problem. I warned him about it. I told him to get rid of the jealousy or find another cover. After Eames had her daughter, her partner first came up on my radar."

"It would have helped if we had known about your operation, since it involved our department."

"That's not how we work."

"And that's why your operation fell apart and your operatives are now dead, Agent Hammond."

Hammond pointed a blocky finger at Deakins. "Goren and Logan's names kept coming across my desk, Captain. I had no idea they were not involved in this. Eames was involved, peripherally, but I never heard about her. Just her partner and his friend. I was not aware IAB had called them in to investigate the drug ring Waters started; I didn't even know IAB _was_ investigating it. After the bust in Atlantic City, I decided enough was enough."

"So you ordered my detectives killed? I cannot tell how many levels of wrong that is, Hammond! These detectives are very good cops. Neither of them has a crooked bone in his body. They are good men."

Hammond nodded. "I pulled their service records. I see Goren is unconventional and Logan's a hothead, but they are clean."

"Maybe you should have done your homework _before_ you put these men and their families through hell."

Hammond's face was dark and angry. "This entire operation has been a burr under my saddle from the get-go. Ok, I was wrong about your men, Captain Deakins. I have rescinded the order. Take them the hell home and, for God's sake, keep them out of trouble." He waved his hand in dismissal. "I have work to do."

Deakins walked to the door, turning and looking back at Hammond. "Agent Hammond?"

The blocky agent looked up from his desk. "What?"

"My detectives will do their jobs, just as they were doing all along and just like they have always done. If their names ever come to your attention again, I suggest you call me or at least look into what is going on before you ever jump the gun on them again and try to have them killed. If _your_ name ever comes to _my_ attention again, I promise you, I _will_ have your badge." Turning, he left the office.

----------------------------------------

Deakins walked into the hospital room and stopped, looking from one set of partners to the other. Logan and Barek were playing cards while Goren and Eames played Scrabble. Logan was the first to notice him, giving him a grin and pointing toward the other side of the room. "I refuse to play Scrabble with him." He gave Goren an annoyed look. "Quoit." He snorted. "And the damn thing's in the dictionary, of course."

Barek gave him a poke in the side. "You're just a sore loser, Logan."

Goren grinned. "Um, how was Austin?"

"It's a nice city. Hammond is a pompous jackass, but you two geniuses are finally off the hook. Between your friend Crosby and me, we managed to finally convince him that you guys were totally clueless about Waters and his operation. I've arranged to have you both transferred to St. Vincent's the day after tomorrow. I've traipsed halfway across the country for you two clowns, and I still brought you a surprise."

He stepped back out into the hallway. Goren looked at Logan, not sure what to think. Logan shrugged his shoulders. "I already got my smack in the head..."

The captain came back into the room, his surprise sitting in his arms. Maggie's face lit up and she squealed, "Daddy!"

She gave Deakins no choice but to put her down and she ran across the room. Eames caught her and lifted her up onto the bed, where she buried herself in her father's arms. He held her close against him, resting his head against hers, eyes closed. "How's my little mouse?" he whispered against her head. "I missed you."

After a time, she pulled back from his arms and looked at him. "You were gone for a long time, Daddy," she said with a pout.

He touched her chin. "I know. I'm sorry. I'm not going to do that any more." He kissed her forehead and gently turned her face toward the other side of the room. "Take a look over there, mouse."

Maggie squealed again. "Uncle Mike!"

He caught her before she dove off the side of the bed. With a laugh, Eames set her on the floor and she charged across the floor into Mike's arms. He hugged her tightly. "How's my best girl?"

She patted his face. "You're back!"

"Back to stay, little bunny." He poked her nose and she wrinkled it for him. With a laugh, he pulled her into another hug. She kissed him and slid back down to the floor, bouncing back across the room to her father.

Eames lifted her up onto the bed, where she knelt and announced, "I taked good care-a my baby, Daddy."

"Did you?"

"Yeah, but he still won' play with me. I keep givin' him my toys, but he won' play."

"He's still little. Give him a chance."

Leaning toward Barek, Logan muttered, "I give her a year before she's hitting him with her toys instead of trying to get him to play with them."

She smacked his arm as he laughed. Maggie looked around the room and, not finding the person she was looking for, hollared, "Grandpa!"

In response to her summons, John Eames came into the room with his youngest grandchild in his arms. Goren smiled at him, pleased to see him recovering well. "You look good."

"Maggie keeps me busy," he answered with a smile. "And Alex has taken very good care of me."

"Me, too!" Maggie piped.

"Yes, Maggie. You, too."

"I bringed Grandpa my story at night to read to me."

John smiled. "That saves me a dozen steps every day."

Goren laughed, wincing when the pain in his chest flared. Maggie looked concerned. "You got a owie, Daddy?"

"Just a small one. Nothing to worry about." He kissed her forehead as John came to him and placed the baby in his arms. He then eased himself down into the chair his daughter had just vacated.

Maggie knelt on her father's legs and looked at the baby with him. Eyes open, Tommy looked at the faces above him before he shoved his fist in his mouth and started sucking. With a smile, Goren stroked the side of the baby's face with a finger. "Look, Daddy," Maggie said quietly, pressing her finger against the baby's hand. Tommy closed his little hand around his sister's finger. "He likes to hold my hand."

"I see that. You've taken very good care of your baby, Maggie."

Seeing the fatigue in his eyes, Eames came over and took the baby from him. "Rest," she said softly.

He gave her a tired smile. She brought the baby over to Logan and set him in his arms. "Look at the size of him! What have you been feeding this guy?" he asked. "On second thought, don't answer that."

Maggie snuggled into her father's lap and rested her head against his chest. He placed an arm lightly around her and she was just sitting quietly. John looked at Deakins. "Ever see her that quiet?" he asked.

"When she was sleeping," Deakins answered with a smile. "Of course, I haven't seen him that quiet in a long time either."

Goren just grinned at the good-natured teasing, watching Eames as she rummaged through the baby's diaper bag for a bottle, which she handed to Logan. He turned onto his side, shifting Maggie onto the mattress beside him. Settling down from the excitement of having her daddy and her uncle back, Maggie snuggled into his arms, buried her hand in his hair and went to sleep. He kissed her head and sighed. He continued to watch his wife as she talked with her father and Deakins until he, too drifted off.

Eames smiled at them. "It's past her bedtime," she said.

"His, too," Logan joked as he fed the baby, grateful to Eames, not only for letting him feed the baby, but for not breast feeding. It still made him uncomfortable.

Eames sighed as she walked over to Goren's bedside. "I hate seeing him like this. I'm used to his energy and his lack of need for sleep."

"He'll be back to normal soon, honey," John reassured. "And the sooner the better, if you ask me. He's the only one I know who can keep up with Maggie."

Eames joined in the general laughter and added, "And she's the only one I know who can wear him out."

She leaned against the bed and watched her little daughter sleeping peacefully in her daddy's arms. And she didn't miss how relaxed he looked as well. Maggie held no grudges and she couldn't be mad at him for what had happened. She was too little to understand. All she knew was she had missed him when he was gone and now that he was back, her world was back the way it should be.

-------------------------------------------------

It took a little bit of cajoling to get the night nurse to look the other way, but one look at Maggie sleeping soundly with her father was enough to convince her to allow her to stay. She admitted that patients in Federal custody were usually given certain allowances outside hospital policy anyway. Under 24-hour surveillence, visiting hours didn't apply to them. And she'd been Goren's nurse since he'd transferred up from the ICU. She had yet to see the man rest easily, and now he was. So she kindly paid no attention to the little form under the blankets when she took his blood pressure.

When Eames came in the next morning, Maggie was sitting in his lap, enjoying Logan's breakfast. Logan just shrugged. "How could I say no?"

"You two are impossible. When have you ever told her no?" She eyed Goren. "Where's your breakfast?"

"I had coffee. I'm good."

She closed her eyes and shook her head. Maggie smiled at her mother. "I got pancakes!"

"I see that."

"And Daddy gived me apple juice."

"That was generous of Daddy."

Goren just smiled and kissed Maggie's head. Eames walked over to them and kissed Maggie's cheek. She made a face and picked up a napkin. "Syrupy baby," she grumbled as she cleaned the sticky from her lips.

Goren laughed, reaching out and pulling her close. He kissed her cheek and whispered in her ear, "I'll take a sticky baby to Logan's snoring any day of the week."

She laughed and pressed her forehead against him. "I want you home," she whispered into his ear, gently nipping at his earlobe.

He looked at her, his warm eyes dark, and he smiled. "Soon," he promised.

The next day, the two men were transferred to St. Vincent's, where Logan remained for another week and Goren for two and a half weeks. Then, they were finally able to go home.

* * *

**A/N: Not done yet...**


	29. Back to Normal

Goren walked back and forth across the living room in the semi-darkness, gently bouncing the baby and patting his back. He had just finished giving him his bottle but Tom was showing no signs of returning to sleep. He leaned the baby back and looked at his face. Tom broke into a wide smile and Goren couldn't help smiling back. "You stinker," he said softly.

The baby gurgled at him. He smiled and nuzzled his neck, and Tom giggled. He loved the sound of his children's laughter. From behind him, a soft voice said, "Please don't tell me he's got your sleep patterns, or rather lack thereof."

He looked over his shoulder and smiled at her. "I tried not to wake you."

"You didn't. I rolled over and you weren't there. I noticed."

"Somebody was hungry."

"He's _supposed_ to be sleeping through the night." She crossed the room to him and looked at the baby's happy face. "But he's wide awake."

She slid her arm around his waist and he lightly kissed her head. "He must be going through a growth spurt. Go back to bed, Alex. We'll just hang out here until he goes back to sleep."

"How lucky am I that I get to sleep while you deal with our insomniac son? Did I ever tell you how much I missed having you there when Maggie did this?"

He smiled warmly. "I was there, Alex. Only I had to drive to your dad's to help you get her back to sleep."

She met his eyes. "Yeah, you did," she said quietly, looking away. "You were always there for me."

He tipped his head to catch her eye. "Because I wanted to be," he replied. "Go back to sleep, baby."

She leaned toward him and kissed him before he straightened back up. "I love you."

He gently ran a finger down the side of her face. "I love you, too."

He watched her walk down the hall to the bedroom, and he softly sighed. Three and a half months had passed since their ordeal with the two federal agencies, and they didn't talk about it. Life had returned to normal. They were back home in their apartment, her father was fully recovered and work was busy. The children were happy, and so were they. He sighed again. Tom bounced in his arms. "Ba...ba...da...mmmm"

He smiled at his son and kissed his forehead. "It's time to sleep, Tom." The baby giggled. "Yeah, that's what your sister used to tell me, too."

He went back to walking and bouncing, muttering softly into the baby's ear. Tom nestled into his father's arms and listened to his soft voice. The baby sighed and stuck his fist in his mouth.

When Eames got up in the morning, both of her boys were sound asleep on the couch. She wondered which one had gone out first and was willing to bet money it hadn't been the baby. With a gentle kiss, she woke up her husband. He smiled at her. "Get much sleep?" she asked.

"What time is it?"

"Five-thirty."

"Mmmm, about an hour."

"You want another half hour while I get Maggie ready?"

He shook his head. "I promised her waffles for breakfast before we take her to Grandpa's."

She took the baby off his chest and lightly gave him a kiss. "Are you sure?"

"I'm fine. As you like to point out, I don't need much sleep."

"Lucky for me."

She gently tickled his ribs as he sat up. Smiling, he pulled her onto the couch beside him. "I'm the lucky one," he whispered, kissing her. And it was something he truly believed in his heart and soul. Without her, everything in his life would be...empty. He needed her, and he was never shy about letting her know that, but more than anything else, he loved her...and that was something he never let her doubt.

----------------------------------------------------

She came down the hall to the living room, stopping to watch her husband laying on the floor. Maggie was laying on his chest and the baby was in his hands, suspended above them. He would dip the baby down toward Maggie's face, and both children would giggle. Their giggling would make him laugh. She smiled. "Bench pressing the baby?"

He tipped his head back to look at her with a smile. "Did you find it?"

She had been searching high and low for a box of Maggie's baby toys she knew had to be around there somewhere. "No."

"Maybe it's at your dad's."

"Maybe. I could have sworn I had you lug it over here though when we moved in."

He shook his head. "I don't remember it."

"We'll look at dad's tomorrow. By the time I find it, he'll be too old to play with them."

"He was chewing on a doll's foot before. Maggie makes sure he always has toys."

She laughed. "Maggie always takes care of her baby, don't you, Maggie?"

"Yes!" she answered, smiling at her brother and reaching toward him to poke at his belly. Bobby lowered him toward her to accomodate her reach and they giggled again.

"Ok, you three. It's bedtime."

Maggie pouted. "Do we gotta?"

Goren kissed her head. "Yes, mouse. You gotta."

She rolled off his chest and bounced up. Eames watched as he rolled onto his side and got up from the floor, holding the baby. He'd lost none of his fluid grace over time, and his boundless energy had returned with his recovery from the accident that had almost killed him. In her mind, she could never picture him old. To her, he was always a mischievous little boy in a man's big body, always young, always...Bobby.

She watched him chase Maggie down the hall to her bedroom and she went into the kitchen, pouring herself a glass of milk. Then she went to Maggie's room to kiss her good night. Standing in the doorway, she watched as Bobby sat on the side of the bed, the baby sitting on his lap and Maggie tucked in under the covers, reading them a story. She walked over, leaning into his back and looking over his shoulder as he read. She gently ran her fingers over his back as he read. She smiled when he stumbled over a word and kissed the back of his neck.

It was hard work for him to concentrate on the story, but he managed. They each kissed Maggie good night and he tucked her floppy brown rabbit in with her. Logan had given it to her and she slept with it every night. Turning off the light, he closed the door behind him and looked at his wife. "That was..." She leaned up and kissed him. "Hold on to that thought," he muttered.

He headed into the bedroom and she watched he set the baby in his crib and covered him with his blanket. Leaning down, he kissed the baby. "Go to sleep, little man," he said quietly.

"Ba...da..."

"Sleep, Tom."

The baby giggled. He smiled and tapped the baby's nose. She stepped away from the door as he turned off the light, came out of the bedroom and pulled the door mostly shut. Then he looked at her. She laughed and ran to the living room. He caught her before she got to the couch, pulling her into his arms and kissing her neck. She turned in his arms, meeting his lips and sliding her arms around his neck. She backed toward the couch, pulling him with her, and he followed her down onto it.

* * *

**A/N: Just a fluffy transition chapter**


	30. The Letter

She was looking in the closet in the room she and Bobby shared when they stayed at her dad's, opening each box and replacing it carefully. Pictures, knick-knacks...Bobby always teased her for her collection of little figures of animals and children. She pulled down a small shoebox and opened it, frowning as she sifted through the papers. Some were hers and some were Ricky's. A small envelope slipped out onto the floor. Picking it up, she looked at the front of it. Ricky's writing read _Chase Manhattan Bank, Delancey Street, Manhattan, #325_. Inside the envelope was a key. She slipped it into her pocket, put the lid back on the box and replaced it on the shelf. Three boxes later, she found what she'd been looking for.

Leaving the room with the box, she came out into the living room. Goren looked up from the couch, where he was talking with her father. Maggie and Tom were playing on the floor. "Find it?" he asked.

"Finally." She pulled the envelope from her pocket and handed it to him. "I found this, too."

He read the envelope and pulled out the key. He looked up at her, brow furrowed in a frown. "A safe deposit key."

She nodded. "I have no idea what could be in it."

He shrugged. "We'll check it out tomorrow."

She dropped down onto the couch beside him as Maggie came over to check out the contents of the box. Goren slid his arm around her and watched Maggie open the box. "Wow! Toys!"

Eames rested her head against him and he leaned forward to look at her. "Something wrong?"

"I was just wondering what could be in that safe deposit box."

He kissed her forehead. "Don't worry. We'll find out tomorrow."

Maggie pulled out a turtle that played music when the buttons on its back were pushed and a rattle in the shape of a lion. She carried them over to where Tom was laying on his belly, pushing his chest up off the floor and kicking his feet. Maggie set the rattle in front of him and sat down beside him to play with the turtle. "Play with your kitty, Tommy," she said, pushing the biggest button on the turtle's back.

Tommy grabbed the rattle and rolled onto his back, waving the rattle and kicking his feet, squealing happily. He stuck the rattle in his mouth and reached toward the turtle, which lit up in rhythm to the music it played.

John smiled at the children. "Maggie plays with him all day long, except for when he's napping. She's very attentive. She even likes to help me give him his lunch."

Alex leaned forward to look at him. "Is that how he got peaches in his hair?"

John laughed. "He likes to grab the spoon and she lets him."

"Just what I need. Someone else to let him have his way, like the men I know who just can't tell her no."

John laughed and got up from the couch, heading for the kitchen. Goren nuzzled his wife's ear and whispered, "I don't tell you 'no,' either," he whispered.

She smacked him playfully in the stomach. "Get your son, Goren."

He laughed as she got up and picked up the box of toys. Choosing half a dozen toys for home, she put them in the baby's diaper bag and dumped the rest in the toybox beside the fireplace. It was time for them to head home for the night.

----------------------------------------------------

"I'm sorry, but since Mr. Waters and Mr. Bedford rented the box, I cannot let anyone except them have access to it."

Goren reached into his pocket and handed a paper to the bank officer. He opened it and read it, then looked at Goren and frowned. "This way, please."

Eames looked at him. "What was that?"

"A court order. I talked to Carver first thing this morning."

She smiled at him, and he winked at her, following her down the stairs into the safe deposit vault of the bank. The bank officer pulled out the small box and set it on a counter so the two detectives could look though it. Eames opened it while her partner stood back. The contents, whatever they were, were for her to go through and dispose of as she saw fit. This was a part of her life he had no business in, whether she agreed with him about that or not, and he remained by her for moral support, if she needed him.

She found some insurance papers--homeowner's insurance on the house they no longer owned, a long-lapsed life insurance policy, a duplicate title to the Camaro he'd given to Bedford when he'd gone to Rikers...and an envelope with her name and the address of her father's house on it. Frowning, she opened it. Out fell several pictures and a folded piece of paper. She picked up the pictures. There were four of them. Two of them were in Central Park when she'd been very pregnant with Maggie, and one showed them playing pool at Delaney's. All three of them were of her with Goren, Logan and Barek. They were relaxed and smiling. The fourth was a picture of just her and Goren. They were seated in the deli near work, having lunch. His hands were clasped together and he was leaning toward her and smiling. He had that look of excitement he got when he was onto something with a case. She was listening with a soft smile of amusement, the look she always got when he was onto something with a case. Why would Ricky have these pictures in a safe deposit box?

Opening the letter, she just took a cursory glance at it, then folded it and put it back into the envelope. She would wait until they got back to the squad before reading it. She looked at Goren. "It's mostly just a bunch of outdated insurance policies and the title to a car he gave to Bedford. And a letter addressed to me." She looked at him. "I'll read it later. Let's get back to work. We have witnesses to interview."

"Uh, are you...ok?"

"Why wouldn't I be? Come on, let's go."

On the way out, she handed the key to the banker who had brought the box to them. "Thanks. We're done with it. I don't know what your procedures are, but Mr. Waters and Mr. Bedford are both dead. The papers in the box are worthless, but do whatever it is you do with them."

Goren shrugged at the man, then turned to catch up to his partner as she headed out of the building.

-------------------------------------------------

The rest of the day was fairly routine. By the time they finished their round of interviews, it was half-past six. Logan and Barek were still busy with paperwork and Goren had his nose buried in a file. Eames leaned back, pulled out the letter she'd gotten from the safe deposit box and opened it. She recognized Ricky's untidy handwriting. The letter was dated the week before he'd been killed.

_Dear Alex, I don't understand how things could have gone so terribly wrong. I never intended for us to live happily ever after, but I didn't expect what ultimately happened, either. You were so perfect--an upstanding cop's daughter, no nonsense and by the book, even if you were Goren's partner. You were squeaky clean. You're tough, and I knew you would be able to handle it when I had to say good-bye. Alex, I was never an NYPD cop. I'm an undercover CIA agent and my job was to run a sting operation to expose and eliminate a suspected terrorist cell in Central America. But things got terribly out of hand and that was all my fault. I got too involved in the role of my cover, which was so easy to do. I should have stepped away as soon as I realized I was too attached but you are not an easy person to step away from. Ask your partner about that. I lost sight of the purpose for our marriage. My boss warned me to step away from the fire before I got burned and in the end I got consumed by it. I have two purposes for writing this letter. The first is to explain and to apologize. I got carried away by the role I was playing. In stepping into the role of a jealous husband, I never expected to actually become what I was pretending to be. And then, after you had Maggie, reality came to bite me in the ass. I could never make a life with you; I would never be able to make you happy. So the kindest thing I could do for you was to treat you badly, as hard as that was for me, and drive you into the arms of the man who adores you, as much as I hated to do that. Which brings me to the second reason for this letter: Goren. In the very beginning, I was relieved that you were so close to your partner. And then I started to hate him because he was closer to you than I would ever be. It was too easy to let the jealousy take over, and I got carried away. I thought that if I could get you away from him, I'd be able to break the bond you have with him, but that was easier said than done, and in trying to get you apart, I only succeeded in driving you closer. At our wedding, I first saw how close to him you really are, and that bothered me alot more than it should have. Alex, I'm not sure you realize, even now, how much Goren loves you, how devoted to you he really is. After the baby was born, he took a lot of abuse from us so that I would never turn my jealousy toward you. He opened himself as a target and I took full advantage of that opening. I did get carried away that day at his apartment. I hurt him worse than I intended to and I am sorry about that. Please let him know. He's a better man than I could ever be for you. Everything he did was with you in mind. And I was really surprised to see a screw-up like Logan stand by him every step of the way. I really screwed up and my boss is never going to get over it because I put the entire operation in jeopardy. I am so screwed, and I do not expect to leave Rikers alive; I am living on borrowed time, as it were. So be it. But I do want you to know that after that day at Goren's apartment, I never struck out to harm him again. That hit on his place, and anything else that came down on him, came from other sources, not from me, in spite of what Nate Bedford was told. It was for your sake that I kept up my asshole facade. You guys had to hate me because it was less painful to separate from me that way. But I never intended any further harm to your partner because I knew he was going to take care of you. Thank you, Alex, for trying to love me when your heart really belonged to him. Please believe me when I say I am sorry for any pain I caused you. I wasn't supposed to love you but I did--enough to make you hate me so you could let me go. Love, Ricky_

She folded the letter in half and closed her eyes. She didn't know what to think or how to feel. "Eames?"

She looked up at him. "I can't believe how wrong we were, Bobby."

"About what?"

She handed him the letter and watched his face as he read it. She watched the darkness descend into his eyes, and she recognized it. When he folded the letter and set it down on his desk, he propped his forehead against his hand and looked at the desk. "Bobby...don't," she whispered, loud enough for him to hear, but no one else.

He waved a hand at her. "I...I'll see you at home, Eames."

He got up and left the squad room. Logan had looked up from his paperwork in time to see Goren leave without her and he frowned. He got up and walked over to her as she took the letter from his desk. "Uh, is he ok, Alex?"

She shook her head. "No, he's not, Mike."

She handed him the letter, which he took and read. "Oh, shit." He looked toward the elevators, then back at Eames. "Do you want me to...hang out with him tonight?"

"Do you mind?"

"It's Friday. What else do I have to do?"

"Call me if you need me, will you?"

"I can handle him. I'll make sure he gets home ok."

"Thanks, Mike."

He returned to his desk and slid the remainder of his paperwork into his desk. "I gotta run damage control, Barek. Maybe you can hang out with Eames. I think she needs an ear and Bobby's is not the ear she needs."

"What happened?"

"She'll tell you. I've gotta go find him."

She nodded and put her own paperwork away before she went over to Eames. Sitting at Goren's desk, she looked at her friend. "What happened?"

She handed the letter to her. "We were very wrong, Carolyn."

Barek read the letter and handed it back. "It's still his own fault. None of us are to blame for what happened."

"You know Bobby. He takes things personally, and he's taking this hard."

"Mike'll take care of him. If he could get him through your wedding to Ricky, he can get him through this." Eames sighed, but she didn't say anything. "Come on, Alex. I'll buy you dinner and then we'll go pick up the kids. We'll just hang out, watch a movie and wait for the boys to come home."

Eames fingered the letter. What happened was no one's fault but Ricky's, and she knew that. But she also knew that Goren was going to take this personally, and he would see it as a personal failure that he never made Ricky for what he really was. But Logan knew him almost as well as she did, and he would make sure that Bobby was ok. She looked at Barek. "_Thelma and Louise_?"

"You got it."

Eames tucked the letter into her pocket and they headed for the elevators.


	31. A Late Night

Eames rolled over in the bed, stretching her arm over his side of the bed, which was empty. Stretching, she looked at the clock. 3:47. Not sure what woke her, she got out of the bed and walked over to the crib. The baby was sound asleep. Crossing the hall, she looked into Maggie's room. Her curly head poked out from under the blanket she was under, cuddling her floppy bunny. She couldn't help smiling. Maggie always made her smile. Heading into the living room, she looked at Barek, asleep on the couch. They weren't home. Sighing heavily, she went into the kitchen for a drink of water.

As she returned to the living room, Barek sat up on the couch. "Alex?"

"Right here."

"Is something wrong?"

"No. I was just checking on the kids. The big kids aren't home yet."

Barek smiled. "Don't worry. Maybe they went over to Mike's. I'm sure they're fine."

"You really think so?"

"I do. They..." She stopped. "What was that?"

Listening carefully, they heard a thud in the hallway, followed by another thud against the apartment door. Voices and shushing accompanied the noise. Eames crossed the room, unlocked the door and pulled it open. Logan stumbled backwards into the room. In the hallway, Goren stood with his keys in his hand, watching as Logan hit the floor in front of the coffee table. Looking around at the faces in the living room, Logan said, "I tol' you they'd still be up."

"Why do you think that's a good thing, Mike?" Goren retorted.

Shoving his keys back into his pocket and missing, he turned to pick them up, stumbling sideways into the door. Eames grabbed him. "Will you clowns be quiet! You're going to wake Maggie."

Goren looked at her as she leaned over to pick up his keys. She pulled him into the apartment and closed the door. He dropped into an easy chair and tipped his head back, sighing heavily. "Eames..."

"Not a word, Goren. I..."

"Mommy?"

"Great." Leaning forward, she smacked her husband on the head. "Good job. Now she's awake," she whispered angrily.

"Hey, I was quiet."

Barek leaned over the coffee table to deliver a similar smack to her partner. "Ow," he complained. "What'd I do?"

Eames met Maggie in the hall, lifting her and her bunny into her arms. "Come on, honey. I'll tuck you back in."

"Daddy..."

"Daddy's home and he's fine. He's just busy right now. You can see him tomorrow."

Maggie rested her head on her mother's shoulder and yawned. "Ok, Mommy."

She put Maggie back into bed and kissed her. "Go back to sleep, baby."

Maggie turned over onto her side, pulling her bunny close and snuggling with it. Eames tucked the blanket around her and left the room, closing the door. On the way back to the living room, she stopped at the closet for a pillow and blanket.

"Don't get up," she told Logan. "That's where you're sleeping. Here."

She tossed the blanket and pillow to him and he grinned at her. He began wrestling with the blanket until Barek got up and took it away from him. "Be still, you idiot," she whispered, covering him. She watched him for a minute before leaning down and kissing his forehead. "Dumb ass," she whispered into his ear.

"Love you, too," he murmured.

Eames was standing near the couch, arms folded across her chest. Goren looked at her; he knew that look. "Want me to stay here?"

"Why would I want that?"

"You're not happy."

"Because you idiots woke Maggie. But if you want to sleep in the chair..."

"I never said that."

"Then come on."

It took three tries for him to get up from the chair and then he tripped over Logan's arm. She caught him and ended up pinned against the wall. "Get _off_ me, Bobby."

He pushed himself off the wall with one hand. "Sorry," he muttered.

She shoved him over and moved away from him, heading toward the bedroom. She didn't know whether to be amused, angry or worried. Maybe a mix of all three was called for. She went into the bedroom and sat at the foot of the bed, looking up when he stopped in the doorway and leaned against the doorjam. "What are you waiting for?" she asked.

"I want to see what you're gonna do."

"I'm going to bed."

He nodded, but he didn't move. "I, um, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to crush you against the wall."

"It's fine, Bobby. Let's just go to sleep."

She climbed into the bed and curled under the blanket. She heard him move about the room as he undressed, but when he stopped moving he wasn't in the bed. Poking her head out from under the blanket she saw him at the crib in his shirt and boxers, arms resting on the crib rail, watching the baby sleep. "Bobby?"

He turned his head to look at her, studying her for a long minute before he turned from the crib and crossed the room unsteadily. He sat heavily on the side of the bed, and she watched his back as he took off his shirt, wadded it into a ball and tossed it in the direction of the hamper in the far corner. Reaching out, she touched his back, gently running her fingers across his skin. He sucked in his breath, hard. Then he relaxed and sighed softly. "I-I don't know how to feel, Alex," he whispered. "I don't know what t-to think."

"Neither do I."

He laid down beside her, turning onto his side to face her. Tucking his arm under his head, he looked at her. His eyes were half-closed and unfocused; he licked his lips and sighed again. "I-I was wrong."

"We all were."

"You could have...been happy with him."

"I'm happy with you." She reached toward him and caressed his cheek. "I don't want anyone else, Bobby."

He smiled. "You'll have to tell me that again tomorrow, you know."

"I'll tell you every day." She fingered the hair on his chest. "We'll talk about it tomorrow. Go to sleep."

He reached out and drew her into his arms, softly kissing her. She nestled herself against his chest and he rested his cheek against her head and drifted off to sleep.

-----------------------------------------------

When Eames woke up, she rolled over toward him. His back was facing her. Leaning over him to kiss his cheek, she noticed the dark curls that poked out from under the blanket beside him. Maggie had gone to sleep worried that he wasn't home, as she had done every night he wasn't home at bedtime since Christmas. Now she slept, curled in the curve of his body.

She smiled. By the time she was dressed, Tom was awake, pushing his head and chest off the mattress and babbling. His face broke into a huge smile when she appeared at the crib. Picking him up, she spoke softly to him and he giggled. He was a very happy baby, just like his sister had been. Not for the first time, she wondered what kind of baby Bobby had been. She wondered if it was his mother's illness and the abuse he'd suffered at his parents' hands that had turned him into the quiet, troubled man he was.

"Mommy?"

"Good morning, Maggie."

"Can I have waffles with Daddy?"

"Not today, honey. Daddy will have waffles with you tomorrow. He came home really late and he needs a little more sleep."

Maggie gave that some thought before she nodded. "Okay. I want jumbled eggs and bacon."

"Then that's what we'll have. What shall we give Tommy?"

"He wants peaches."

"Peaches, it is."

Maggie gave her father a kiss and bounced off the bed. Eames walked over to the bed and gently ruffled his hair. He stirred a little but didn't waken. She left the room with the children.

--------------------------------------

It was mid-afternoon when Goren woke up. Slowly, he got up and nearly tripped over a body on the floor. "Ow! Watch it, will ya?" Logan snapped.

"What the hell are you doing on the floor?"

"Getting stepped on. Eames made me drag my ass in here this morning after your little tiger pounced on me."

"You could have gotten on the bed."

"It's a comfortable floor." He got up and staggered a little, holding his head. "Geez..."

"Go take a shower. It'll help."

Logan glared at him. "Why am I always more hungover than you are, even when you outdrink me?"

Goren shrugged. "I handle it better."

Grumbling, Logan headed for the bathroom.

-------------------------------------------

Maggie was sitting on the floor, patiently rolling a ball to her brother, who would bat at it like a kitten in his attempts to grab it. The ball would roll back to her and she'd clap and give it another push in his direction. Eames and Barek were on the couch, talking and half-watching a movie on television. They looked toward the hall when they heard the bedroom door open. With a happy squeal, Maggie jumped up and ran into her father's arms, looking over his shoulder at Logan. "Hi, Uncle Mike!"

Logan winced. "Hi, sweetheart."

Barek studied them. "You don't look too worse for the wear."

Logan sank down onto a chair. "Tell that to the elf with the sledgehammer lodged inside my head."

"Hungry?"

"Let the party die down a little," he muttered, resting his head on his hand.

Eames got up and walked into the kitchen to start a fresh pot of coffee. Goren kissed Maggie and set her on the floor near Tom. He gently stroked the baby's soft head before straightening and heading into the kitchen. "Eames?"

She looked over her shoulder at him. "Feel better now?"

"About what?"

"About what happened to Ricky?"

"No. Should I?"

"Did you and Logan resolve anything?"

"I don't know. I...never expected that."

"He did a good job of alienating himself and making us hate him."

"He fell into his cover well. I've done that."

She switched the coffee maker on. "Coffee will be ready shortly. We'll talk about it later."

He grabbed her arm as she moved past him. "I'm sorry if I upset you..."

She shook her head. "It's not you. It's the whole thing. I haven't had a chance to fully process it yet."

He leaned over to kiss her temple and released her arm. She continued into the living room. He leaned back against the counter, letting his mind wander over the course of her marriage to Ricky. Everything he did, to her and to him, had served the purpose of driving her away. To know that he meant to do that, and that, in hurting her like he did, he was being kinder than anyone knew, troubled him. He'd spent his life reading people and their behavior. He'd made Ricky as a sociopath. But he'd been very wrong, and Goren did not like to be wrong.


	32. Setting Each Other Straight

The kids were in bed and Barek had taken Logan home. Goren was sitting on the couch, leaning forward and studying his hands. He'd tucked Maggie in and read her a story. Eames was getting the baby settled in bed.

Goren continued to let his thoughts wander over the course of Eames' last marriage, searching for anything he could have missed that might have tipped him to Ricky's true nature. He found nothing. He looked up when she touched his shoulder. He was troubled, but he managed a small smile for her. She sat beside him. "What are you thinking about?" she asked, knowing full well where his thoughts were.

He leaned back and sighed. "I'm looking for something I missed."

"Suppose you didn't miss anything?"

"I...I must have. I had him pegged as a bastard, and I was wrong."

She knew only too well how much he hated to be wrong. He was very careful about his assessments. He never jumped to conclusions...well, almost never. When his emotions ran high...that was when he was most prone to be wrong. Deadbeat dads were his biggest downfall, followed by people who treated her badly.

"I lived with him, Bobby. I saw him every day."

"You saw good in him, though. You had to have, or you wouldn't have married him. Did I just...not give him a chance? Did I let my own...jealousy...cloud my judgment?"

She had never heard him admit to being jealous of Ricky before. "Was Logan jealous?"

"Why would he be?"

"He missed it, too, and he's not a bad judge of character. The same with Carolyn, and she's almost as accurate with her profiles as you are. I think they came to dislike him as much as you did. Neither of them saw him as anything except what he wanted them to see."

"They didn't make a snap judgment," he answered with a frown.

"Did you? Bobby, you gave him a chance. More than one, if I remember right."

"What choice did I have? You married him. As long as you were with him, I had to...put up with it."

"Is that what you did? You 'put up' with my marriage?"

"What would you call it? You have no idea how hard it was for me to see you unhappy. It ate at me, Alex. If...if he'd made you happy...I'd have gotten used to it. I can't say I would ever have...liked it, but I'd have been...okay, eventually. He could have had it all, if he'd wanted it."

"Apparently he did want it, but he couldn't have it."

"That all boils down to the same thing. You were miserable, and that was what I had trouble with."

"That's why you judged him a bastard."

He turned from her, switching his gaze back to his hands. "Yes," he muttered miserably.

She reached out and touched his hand. He slipped his fingers around her hand and raised it to his lips. Leaning in to him, she rested her head against his arm. "You didn't do anything wrong, Bobby."

"How can you say that?"

"It's easy, because it's true. You misjudged a man who wanted you to misjudge him. How is that your fault? Dammit, you can't be right all the time, you know."

"Being wrong is one thing. Being wrong and costing a man his life...that's something entirely different."

He was being stubborn. "How did you cost him his life? By letting him beat the shit out of you and put you in the hospital? Tell me you invited the four of them to your apartment for a nice beating."

"Eames..."

"No, you are going to hear me out. You have no idea what I went through that day...how I felt it was all my fault for bringing this on you. All you ever did was take care of me. You were there when I needed you, for support and encouragement. When my mother died, when I was pregnant with Maggie...Bobby, you sat with me all night through the birth of a child you thought belonged to another man. You loved her totally and unconditionally from the moment she was born. She spent more time at your apartment than she did at my home with me. And she became more closely bonded to you than anyone else, even me. But not once did you ever even mention it. You never used it against me in any way. Look at everything you went through because of me. And yet you were the only one who wasn't trying to get me to leave Ricky. The _only_ one, Bobby. You were the one who had the most reason for wanting me to leave, but I never felt any pressure from you. And when I needed a shoulder to cry on...or someone to love, to show me that I wasn't worthless...you were there. Always."

"It wasn't my place to tell you how to live your life. If I'd tried to pressure you, I'd have driven you away. That's exactly what happened with Ricky. He tried to pressure you into leaving our partnership, but all he did was drive you away from the marriage. I was...too close to you and I depended too much on you being my partner to risk alienating myself from you. I...couldn't have taken that. I wouldn't risk it. You're a big girl, able to make your own decisions and deal with the consequences."

"And you were always there to pick up the pieces."

"I hated that role. Not because you needed me, but because I hated to see you hurt."

"Bobby...you did everything right during that time. You have nothing to feel guilty about."

"Don't you remember why he got sent to prison?"

"That wasn't your fault, dammit. You never pressed charges. That was all Carver and Deakins. You did the decent thing and pressured Carver to give him a plea."

"That wasn't for him. That was for you."

"For me? You said it didn't concern me."

"I...exaggerated. I didn't want to put you through any more than you'd already gone through. Enough was enough. In pleading him out, we never had to put you through a trial."

"I wouldn't have had to testify."

"_I_ would have. You never knew about the fights and the confrontations, and I wanted to keep it that way. You were going through enough. And the sooner he was sentenced, the sooner he went to prison and you'd be done with him for good. I...I just wanted you to have some peace."

"It still was _not_ your fault he went to prison. You didn't force him into that role of a jealous husband."

"No, but I was the reason for his jealousy, as much as I tried not to be."

"That's exactly my point. You did everything right. I was the one who screwed up..."

"Alex..."

She placed her fingers on his lips. "No. I was. I admit that. It's time for you to let go of whatever misconceptions you have been carrying around with you. You have always said you don't remember the night Maggie was conceived. Is that still true?" He nodded. "Something repressed that memory for you, but _I_ remember it, Bobby. And something changed for me that night."

He looked confused. "Why? What did I do?"

"It's not what you did. It's what you were willing to do. You showed me that night, more than you ever had before, just how much you loved me." She turned toward him and touched his cheek. "In the middle of it all, you were willing to stop, just because I asked you to. And in the end...I was the one who couldn't...who didn't want to stop...because deep inside, loving you like that was never wrong. Not to me."

His face clouded, but he wasn't angry or upset. He was thinking, and she let him think about it for awhile. Then she said, "It wasn't about the partnership, Bobby. If it were, we could have changed partners. Neither of us would have liked it, but you would have survived being Mike's partner. Deakins might not have, but you would have. But that wasn't what Ricky wanted. He wanted me to leave Major Case. He didn't want you in my life at all. I don't know if he was testing my devotion to you, or yours to me. But forcing us apart, like he said, would certainly have driven us together. It would have thrown us into a full-blown affair, I can promise you. Because I didn't _want_ to be away from you. In keeping our partnership, we were able to avoid that mess...mostly."

"I never..."

"Shhh, I know. Except for that one night, I was always the one who pushed you...because I knew what it was like, Bobby. And I liked it; I did not want to give it up. I _wanted_ that relationship with you. The one thing Ricky was smart about is he never made me choose. I would never have been able to walk away from you."

"I...I just wanted you to be happy."

"And I always was...when I was with you. Why didn't you ever see that? Everyone else saw it. That's one reason why Mike and Carolyn got us together that night. I was _always_ happy with you, but you never seemed to realize it."

"I did. I saw it. But I couldn't...dwell on it. I couldn't let it be that way. You were _married_. Alex, you weren't mine, as much as I wanted you to be. I would do anything for you...but it wasn't my responsibility to make you happy. Not that way. I...I couldn't do that, to either of us."

"You protected me..."

"Yes, my _partner_..."

"Bullshit, Goren. No partner I ever had would drive out to my dad's from Manhattan in the middle of the night because I had a sleepless baby. But you did. You did it because you loved Maggie, and you did it because you loved me."

"That's beside the point."

"No, Bobby. That _is_ the point. As much as I hurt you, without ever intending to, you were always there."

He frowned. "Because Ricky wasn't. I...didn't have it in me to turn my back on either of you."

"Ricky never intended to be there for me. Ok, he let his jealousy get away from him. That was his fault, and so was everything that came of it. But eventually the result would have been the same. He would have walked away. But I still would have had you. I've always had you."

"Alex, that's not the issue here."

"Yes, it is. Bobby, he was a cop playing a cop. You _knew_ he was a damn cop! What he did was play the bad cop. And you know how easy that is to do. Do not beat yourself up because he did his job well. And your opinion was clouded anyway, especially after Maggie was born. You couldn't see past _us_, and you know it. You know that being too close to something automatically colors your judgment, and you couldn't get any closer." She slid her hand onto his thigh. "Let it go," she said softly. "It's over. His death is not on your shoulders. He brought it all on himself. You are the last one who should feel any guilt about this."

He shifted his eyes toward her. "If I ever prevented you from being happy with him..."

"You didn't. Ever. When I got married, you stepped back, just like you should have. I was the one who pulled you back in, and I don't regret it in the least. You have always been my best friend and I was never willing to sacrifice that to any marriage."

"And now?"

"Now I have everything I ever wanted out of life. I have a job I love, a family I love... and I have you. My life is complete, and I won't have you beating yourself up about the way we got here."

He leaned back into the couch, a thoughtful frown on his face. She snuggled into his arms, resting her head on his chest. In the silence, she listened to his heart beat, a steady, comforting sound.

"Alex?" Lifting her head, she looked at him. He pushed her hair back from her face. "Nothing worth having is easily gotten. It cost me a lot of...pain to get here. I wouldn't change a thing because I'm happy being here. So I will let it go, eventually. It doesn't change the fact that I was wrong, but there's nothing we can do about that now; there's no way to fix it."

"If you hadn't been wrong, Bobby, what would you have done?"

"I would have fixed it for you."

"You'd have blown his cover? That doesn't sound like you."

"No. I would have confronted him about it. He could have salvaged his cover without losing his life. Then he would have had to either treat you the way you deserved to be treated, or step away and let you go. Either way, you would have been happy a lot sooner."

"But you..."

"It was _never_ about me. Ask Logan. He knows. Alex, if it would have made you happy, I would have walked away. I would have done anything for you. I still would. It was always all about you."

"That's not fair."

"That's the way it was...the way it is. Fair or not, I would give up everything for you. And I have always been willing to do that."

Now it was her turn to think. Absently, she played with the buttons on his shirt. He watched her, enjoying the feel of her fingers when they brushed against his skin. She looked up when the last button was undone. "So we agree on that at least."

"On what?"

"Regardless of what it took to get here, here is where we both want to be."

"Absolutely."

"Do you understand a little better some of what went on?"

"Yes. Do you?"

She nodded. "And do you still feel badly about it?"

"About what happened to him? Yes. Even if he brought it all on himself, I don't think he deserved to die. But I'll never feel badly about us. I felt guilty about it for awhile, but not now."

She opened his shirt and caressed his skin. He closed his eyes...she knew just how to get to him. She always had. "Alex," he whispered as he opened his eyes to look at her. "More than anything else, I have always loved you."

She leaned closer and kissed him. He slid his arms around her, pulling her against his chest, deepening the kiss. He never regretted loving her, not for a moment, and he would love her beyond forever and a day.

_fin._


End file.
